spicolli Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 So I've been doing very well. Been broken up just shy of five months. After a while the truth came out and she was back with her ex. Fine. I haven't contacted her in two months (two months today ) I was definitely doing a lot better. But last night I had a long dream of her. I don't remember what it was about, but whatever. It put me in a funk this morning but I got over it quickly. Then my parents got a new computer at work today and they were loading pics onto it. A BUNCH of pics of "Her" from fourth of july. I have been going to therapy and my therapist suggested things to "keep my out of this fire" don't go to places that you'll be affected by, physical places as well as spots on the net. I have really been heeding his advice and doing well but just seeing those pics. Her beautiful face. My arm around her. Its all happening with someone else now. I guess the purpose of this rant is to ask, how to you deal with the triggers that you just stumble across? stories that others have. How did you keep on your positive path? Thanks everyone!
Ariadne Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Hi, Sorry about what happened with your ex. You can expect there'll be days like these. Just understand that the pictures brought memories and it's normal to feel down for a bit. Just pamper yourself and I promise you'll feel better in a couple days. Wishing you the best.
lolita jade Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 There will always be triggers you cant avoid. Take a deep breath and think about something else straight away. Don't dwell on it. It will get better and these moments will become less and less.
mike588 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Ahhhh another ex. back to an ex.lol. I just avoided places where we used to go (when I could) as far as something I couldn't control I just tried to think of something positive or something else.
Author spicolli Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 The funny thing is we dated for twice as long as they did. He was constantly trying to work his way back into the picture. Apparently I should have treated her a lot worse Haha. Thinking about it logically she was allowing him to chase her. She would have told him to piss off if she cared for me as much as she claimed. What a $hitty lesson to learn. And yet I still kind of long for the day she comes back. Sigh.
ken_25 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 For some triggers only time takes care of them. As for a lot of places, I decided to confront instead of avoid. I went to our favorite restaurant for example and ate lunch by myself. These places no longer bother me when I drive by or I'm there, it won't work for everyone, but it helped me.
mike588 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 For some triggers only time takes care of them. As for a lot of places, I decided to confront instead of avoid. I went to our favorite restaurant for example and ate lunch by myself. These places no longer bother me when I drive by or I'm there, it won't work for everyone, but it helped me. I'm 4 months since being dumped and lately I'm ok going to those places to where before I'd avoid them like the plague. It just doesn't bother me that bad anymore,, Finally! Proof that time is our friend.
M2155 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I was just the opposite. I tortured myself looking at his FB page or pictures of them, it would always stab me and put me down but at the same time it was liked forced reality. Seeing them or something that reminds me of him is still like a shock for 1 second and then it's back to normal(except running into him in person, I'm not looking forward to that test). As for triggers, he drove a pretty popular car and that was always the worst one for me cause you can't really avoid seeing a car on the road:rolleyes:. I still think of him everyday when I pass one but there is no feeling behind it anymore. When I see pics of us (cause I still have them, I have one on my phone as a matter of fact cause I look good it in:D) I just remember it was a fond memory of the past, and now he's an ass.
SkyEmtRN Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 The best method I have to deal with the triggers and to calm you down is to: Take a slow deep breath in through your nose and exhale slowly out or mouth while counting to 4 in your head while your lips are slightly puckered. In medical field, this is called pursed lip breathing. We teach this to patients when they are breathing to fast. This slows the heart down and you'll be so focused on your breathing that you will forget about what you were thinking. Also, this helps if you have the "shakes" from those thoughts.
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