lemonlegs Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 As a girl, I have many guy friends. I tend to enjoy their company, the same music, interests, and things of that sort. I like to think of myself as a pretty girl, but I feel like I either intimidate guys or they think of me just a guy. I'm not really sure what it is, but they always come t me about their sex lives... among other things. Sometimes I find that even the guys I like talk frankly with me about a lot of things, whcih perhaps prevents them from seeking anything further with me. Insight?
Emilia Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I find that unusual but could be because most of my male friends are English. They don't usually talk about sex much, as far as I know not a huge amount with their male friends either
Quiet Storm Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 They are testing you to see your response. They want to know what you are willing to do sexually and use this as a conversation starter.
Author lemonlegs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 They are testing you to see your response. They want to know what you are willing to do sexually and use this as a conversation starter. Seriously? Never thought of it like that.... Uh oh...
MyApology Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Seriously? Never thought of it like that.... Uh oh... Nah, I do not think a man who sees you in the potential for a long term relationship would talk to you about sex specifically. It seems as if they see you as a Bud, and easy to talk with about it, without thinking in terms of will this hamper or drive away a female I have potential interest with. However, in expressing this, there always exceptions to the rules.
dasein Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Is this a pattern? or just one or two of them? It's hard to tell, but it could be a subliminal expression of attraction to you, or just they really trust you. Are the talks asking you for advice, venting, bragging, graphic? The exact nature of what they talk about probably holds the key to their motives for bringing it up. Personally, I don't talk graphically about sex with women friends, just in generalities.
Bullet Proof Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I have the same problem. I have a TON of guy friends. I think I can be a bit intimidating and will tell/show a guy pretty quickly if I am interested or not in them in a romantic way, so once they realize I'm not interested I turn into one of the guys. I have an open mind and talk right along with them for the most part. HOWEVER, if I am interested in a guy more than friends I am usually a bit more shy when it comes to sex talk until I get to know them and such.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Most men believe women with mostly or only guy friends are sluts. Therefore, they feel comfortable talking about sex with these types of women in ways they wouldn't feel comfortable with regular women.
Author lemonlegs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Most men believe women with mostly or only guy friends are sluts. Therefore, they feel comfortable talking about sex with these types of women in ways they wouldn't feel comfortable with regular women. Well, I'm not a slut by any stretch of the imagination. And thanks, I like to agree that I'm rather extraordinary too
carhill Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Insight? None specifically but it could parallel the same talk patterns women have with male friends who will entertain their talk. They'd never (they've told me) talk to or with a man they were interested in like that. Some of what I've heard makes guy locker room talk pale in comparison. TBH, I know about far more women's sex lives and those of their husbands than I'll ever know from any of my male friends. Process as appropriate. My .02 is you're a 'safe haven' for that stuff and, since you apparently don't disengage or erect any boundaries to it, they continue. Life goes on.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Well, I'm not a slut by any stretch of the imagination. And thanks, I like to agree that I'm rather extraordinary too It doesn't matter what you think but what others think. Have you considered the possibility yer guy friends think yer a slut? I know many women who think women with only or mainly guy friends are sluts. I know many men who believe this too and won't get into a serious relationship with a woman with too many guy friends.
ShannonMI Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 As a girl, I have many guy friends. I tend to enjoy their company, the same music, interests, and things of that sort. I like to think of myself as a pretty girl, but I feel like I either intimidate guys or they think of me just a guy. I'm not really sure what it is, but they always come t me about their sex lives... among other things. Sometimes I find that even the guys I like talk frankly with me about a lot of things, whcih perhaps prevents them from seeking anything further with me. Insight? Maybe they just want a girl's perspective on things. Since they are close with you on a "friend" level and you are a woman, they have the advantage of getting your opinions and views. Lucky them. Does it bother you? If it does, tell them you don't really want to discuss their sex lives anymore.
ShannonMI Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Most men believe women with mostly or only guy friends are sluts. Therefore, they feel comfortable talking about sex with these types of women in ways they wouldn't feel comfortable with regular women. Is this really true? That's pretty ridiculous. Some girls just prefer the company of men because women can be jealous and catty. Doesn't mean she's a slut. She's friends with them, not f*cking them. Is that what you think too? Lame.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Is this really true? That's pretty ridiculous. Some girls just prefer the company of men because women can be jealous and catty. Doesn't mean she's a slut. She's friends with them, not f*cking them. Is that what you think too? Lame. That would mean most women are lame since there are no shortage of women who think the exact same way.
O'Malley Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 You simply are perceived by these friends as a reliable sounding board and comfortable to open up to. "Safe" because they feel that you are one of the guys or assume that you would never be interested in them. If you're uncomfortable with the discussion, laugh it off--too much information--and they should get the drift. Do you ever initiate (flirting, asking out) with those acquaintances that you are interested in? Make it clear to a particular guy that you don't see him as merely a pal.
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Is this really true? That's pretty ridiculous. Some girls just prefer the company of men because women can be jealous and catty. Doesn't mean she's a slut. She's friends with them, not f*cking them. Is that what you think too? Lame. There is something very wrong with women who are unable to make and keep female friends, especially women who paint all other women with a broad brush and call them jealous, catty, b*tchy. IME, such women are grossly insecure and use male attention to validate themselves, and other smart females can smell that and choose to stay away from them (insofar as being friends is concerned). In turn, the female-friendless women respond by calling the smart women catty, jealous, etc. Truth is, the smart women just see right through the validation, attention-seeking BS. There, I said it.
Author lemonlegs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 There is something very wrong with women who are unable to make and keep female friends, especially women who paint all other women with a broad brush and call them jealous, catty, b*tchy. IME, such women are grossly insecure and use male attention to validate themselves, and other smart females can smell that and choose to stay away from them (insofar as being friends is concerned). In turn, the female-friendless women respond by calling the smart women catty, jealous, etc. Truth is, the smart women just see right through the validation, attention-seeking BS. There, I said it. I just want to clarify that I DO have female friends, a lot of them. But I also happen to have male friends as well...
ShannonMI Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I just want to clarify that I DO have female friends, a lot of them. But I also happen to have male friends as well... I have female friends as well just not a lot. I have male friends too. I have experienced cattiness and jealousy with a lot of women though. If that makes me insecure, I guess I am. And I've never needed my male friends to validate me for any reason. I just like hanging out with them. They're fun. My girlfriends are too. I like people who are fun. If they are male or female, doesn't matter.
veggirl Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Lumping most or all or many females as catty or jealous is so obnoxious. Op, your male friends see you as a guy, I'd say. They wouldn't talk to a girl they're romantically interested in like that. I hope not anyway. Additionally, you could ask them why they do it
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I have female friends as well just not a lot. I have male friends too. I have experienced cattiness and jealousy with a lot of women though. If that makes me insecure, I guess I am. And I've never needed my male friends to validate me for any reason. I just like hanging out with them. They're fun. My girlfriends are too. I like people who are fun. If they are male or female, doesn't matter. And I have experienced douchebagginess and jerkdom from male friends too, but I don't sit there and paint them all with the same brush. My point was, women who predominantly hang out with men and have few if any female friends, especially those women who paint other women with a catty/jealous/bitchy brush aren't to be trusted. (They're also just projecting, as it's THOSE women who tend to be the cattiest of them all.)
ShannonMI Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 And I have experienced douchebagginess and jerkdom from male friends too, but I don't sit there and paint them all with the same brush. My point was, women who predominantly hang out with men and have few if any female friends, especially those women who paint other women with a catty/jealous/bitchy brush aren't to be trusted. (They're also just projecting, as it's THOSE women who tend to be the cattiest of them all.) I didn't paint every woman with the same brush. I said some of them are catty and jealous. It would be stupid to say that ALL of them are that way. It's not true. Like I said, I have female friends. My best friend is female actually. But I also have male friends. Yes, men can be jerks and douchebags, but some of them are fun to hang out with. Just like woman can be catty and bitchy, but some of them are fun to hang out with.
Nexus One Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) Is this really true? That's pretty ridiculous. Some girls just prefer the company of men because women can be jealous and catty. Doesn't mean she's a slut. She's friends with them, not f*cking them. Is that what you think too? Lame. There is something very wrong with women who are unable to make and keep female friends, especially women who paint all other women with a broad brush and call them jealous, catty, b*tchy. IME, such women are grossly insecure and use male attention to validate themselves, and other smart females can smell that and choose to stay away from them (insofar as being friends is concerned). In turn, the female-friendless women respond by calling the smart women catty, jealous, etc. Truth is, the smart women just see right through the validation, attention-seeking BS. There, I said it. I have female friends as well just not a lot. I have male friends too. I have experienced cattiness and jealousy with a lot of women though. If that makes me insecure, I guess I am. And I've never needed my male friends to validate me for any reason. I just like hanging out with them. They're fun. My girlfriends are too. I like people who are fun. If they are male or female, doesn't matter. And I have experienced douchebagginess and jerkdom from male friends too, but I don't sit there and paint them all with the same brush. My point was, women who predominantly hang out with men and have few if any female friends, especially those women who paint other women with a catty/jealous/bitchy brush aren't to be trusted. (They're also just projecting, as it's THOSE women who tend to be the cattiest of them all.) I didn't paint every woman with the same brush. I said some of them are catty and jealous. It would be stupid to say that ALL of them are that way. It's not true. Like I said, I have female friends. My best friend is female actually. But I also have male friends. Yes, men can be jerks and douchebags, but some of them are fun to hang out with. Just like woman can be catty and bitchy, but some of them are fun to hang out with. Man translation: Shannon: (Some) women are b*tches. SG: Women who say that are insecure attention whores. Shannon: I guess I'm insecure then. SG: You missed my point. My point is that YOU'RE an attention whoring b*tch. Shannon says: I didn't say all women are b*tches. (but thinks: that f*cking b*tch) #$%! *SG leaves the scene with Shannon's hair extensions in her hand* Just kidding SG and Shannon! Edited November 30, 2011 by Nexus One
ShannonMI Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Man translation: Shannon: (Some) women are b*tches. SG: Women who say that are insecure attention whores. Shannon: I guess I'm insecure then. SG: You missed my point. My point is that YOU'RE an attention whoring b*tch. Shannon says: I didn't say all women are b*tches. (but thinks: that f*cking b*tch) #$%! *SG leaves the scene with Shannon's hair extensions in her hand* Just kidding SG and Shannon! Hahahaha I don't have hair extensions. She'd be leaving with my real hair, but very funny. I like Star Gazer. I always like what she posts. Sometimes people just don't agree with each other. I never said ALL women are catty and jealous. Some are. Does that mean I'm an insecure attention whore? Hell no. To say that is painting women that value their male friends with the same "shes an insecure, attention whore" brush, is it not? The same thing as what she's accusing me of when I say bitches can be catty.
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I didn't paint every woman with the same brush. I said some of them are catty and jealous. It would be stupid to say that ALL of them are that way. It's not true. Like I said, I have female friends. My best friend is female actually. But I also have male friends. Yes, men can be jerks and douchebags, but some of them are fun to hang out with. Just like woman can be catty and bitchy, but some of them are fun to hang out with. I said nothing about you specifically. You're getting awfully defensive. That said, I quoted your post wherein you responded to someone else and said, "Some women PREFER the company of men BECAUSE WOMEN can be jealous and catty." You said some women PREFER the company of men. THAT is what I take issue with, particularly when you then add on "BECAUSE WOMEN can be jealous and catty." You did not say SOME women. You painted ALL women with a broad brush. Women who PREFER the company of men because they believe women on the whole can be/are jealous and catty... YUP, that's the exact type of woman that I don't trust and wouldn't want as a friend.
ShannonMI Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I said nothing about you specifically. You're getting awfully defensive. That said, I quoted your post wherein you responded to someone else and said, "Some women PREFER the company of men BECAUSE WOMEN can be jealous and catty." You said some women PREFER the company of men. THAT is what I take issue with, particularly when you then add on "BECAUSE WOMEN can be jealous and catty." You did not say SOME women. You painted ALL women with a broad brush. Women who PREFER the company of men because they believe women on the whole can be/are jealous and catty... YUP, that's the exact type of woman that I don't trust and wouldn't want as a friend. Ok so you wouldn't be friends with me. Now I'm sad. :(But seriously some women are @ssholes and some men are too. I have a female best friend who I love to death. I wouldn't trade her in for a dude EVER. I have good guy friends too. I don't hate ALL women and I don't think ALL women are catty and jealous. And I stand by my statement that some women prefer being friends with men over women. Some do. The reason being because sometimes it's hard to be friends with women. It's just the way it is. I guess if you think it's because of insecurity that's your opinion. It doesn't necessarily mean that though. Maybe the women who are difficult to get along with by being bitchy and jealous are the ones who are insecure. That's always how I looked at it.
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