lovebound Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 This is my situation. About a year and half ago i started a friends with benefits relationship with a guy, out of chance, not planned after i broke up with a boyfriend. Didnt think much of it, cause at first, it was an ego boost and he was going to get deployed to iraq 4 months later. i guess i just figured he was going to be gone anyways, but he kept in contact with me through skype and facebook and visited me during a two week break soldiers get. after that i felt that since he has kept in contact for so long that something was growing and started to get excited that he was going to return soon. he still kept in contact so i thought that maybe when he got back we could explore actually dating..then he dropped me out of the blue when he got back, was nasty about it and basically told me to leave him alone that he didnt want anything to do with me. i was hurt since he didnt even talked to me about it as a mature person....so, i accepted it....six weeks later he called to tell me he was sorry for the way he acted and hurting me cause he mislead me into thinking he wanted a girlfriend when he didnt...that he wasnt looking to rekindle things but then said he didnt want things to be awkward if we were to hang out again, told me to call him if i wanted to do something to which i replied that he would be the one to call me instead, that i understood but that also the hurt was more related to the fact of the way he handled it to begin with....anyways.....what is anyones thoughts on this? i dont know what to think or to do with this. why even call after 6 weeks to say that when he doesnt want anything with me? i go from thinking that he realized he acted wrongly to just think that he was trying to save face cause we have common friends to think he just wanted attention cause i stopped contacting him altogether....any objective opinions out there.
Author lovebound Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 i truly understand what he is going thru....i had two uncles in the military who were seriously injured and incapacitated by grenades that won purple hearts....and yet they are honorable loving men with happy families....that is not an excuse to not been sensible to other person's feelings and being honest!! and as for u, i dont know who u are, but u r an *******! and ur statement is completely out of line. i left this guy alone when he pushed me away and respected that! i didnt bother him. i thought it was not fair though to mistreat me for no reason...i was on his side, i wasnt an enemy to him, i was supportive...all he had to do is to open up to me and tell me how he was feeling in a nice way.
Author lovebound Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Quantumweapon....i dont know why would you post this...without knowing me...or why i am being attacked here....u dont know me so there is no reason for you to assumme that i was with other men...cause i wasnt. i wasnt dating anyone during that time...by choice. the only guy i was intimate with was him.....if i was wanting to be with him when he got back...is because it was him who i wanted. if he chose to believe that there was other people, then that was wrong with him, he could have asked me. he just didnt want me!!! it was the other way around.
Quiet Storm Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 He wants his FWB back, but only as a placeholder until he finds someone he is truly interested in relationship with. He probably doesn't have any other FWB at the moment and is horny. It takes less effort to call you and apologize, then it would take to find and groom a new FWB. The keys phrase that you should pay attention to is this: that he wasnt looking to rekindle things That was his disclaimer. JMO.
Author lovebound Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 quantumweapon: when he said not rekindling things...i interpreted that as being he didnt want to start the FWB arrangement again. my expectations were that if he wanted to end that, then he could just talk to me about it rather than being rude.
Author lovebound Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 quiet storm: that is a good point as well, but i interpreted the not kedinling as he not wanted to continue the FWB..though it may be like what u say..only the first move to try to get back to that again in the future..which i dont want to do. quantumweapon: the reason i said for him to contact me was that i dont feel comfortable in calling him especially after he rejected me in more committed role. if he wants to make amends with the friendship which we share for over a year and half then i rather him take the initiative. i dont want to bother him if he wants to be left alone, i got my pride too. when we started this arrangement, i wasnt interested in him at all, as a matter of fact i was dating someone else, no sex, but we were too different people so it didnt work out. it was over time that i felt that there could be more to this cause we were communicating for so long and fund of each other...if he didnt want the same, then all he needed to do is tell me the truth.
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