nyckidd Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 This nagging thought of what to do has been on my mind and I could use some advice!: My ex gf of 2 1/2 years broke up with me 2 months ago. For the first week she would text me saying things like she loves me so much, she misses me, but she thinks this is whats best (she did have very valid reasons for ending things, as our relationship did become unhealthy, mostly my fault.) and maybe we just need some time apart etc. Eventually I stopped hearing from her and fearing that I was going to loose her, I contacted her 2 times trying to reason with her and explain that I understood why the relationship went south etc. and I felt we could really work things out. She would cry and say right now it just can't be so I got the message at that point. We even met up that night and had sex and cuddled(which was a bad idea by the way) and she seemed like she was just confused as to what she wanted or something. Well 2 days later I find out that she is talking(more or less dating) her friend's brother just 2 weeks after the split. I got mad at this especially after what we just did 2 nights ago, but I refused to let my emotions get the best of me and just kept it to myself. Maybe she can't cope with being lonely, maybe its for real, maybe its a rebound. Who knows and id go nuts trying to figure that out. I thought for sure at that point that I was done with her forever. 2 weeks of silence and she text me saying hey I hope you don’t mind me texting you but today is the 7th(we started dating on the 7th) and I was thinking about you and I hope your day is going well, and I hope everything's been good, and I hope your family is good too. I ignored for 2 reasons: I was still upset about this other guy, and I just didn't feel like I was in the right state of mind to be communicating. I probably should have responded but I just couldn't, it was strange. From what a friend told me she wasn't to happy about me not responding for some reason. Now it's been 1 month of NC and I can feel my angry emotions drifting away. I'll just be honest and say I would still like this girl back despite all of this. I'm not pining for her like before but I miss her and our memories and her as a person etc. I have moved forward, not moved on but forward, in terms of focusing on myself and getting my life back together and feeling LESS emotional about the whole BU. Now here is my question: Would it be best if I continue NC and think maybe she will contact me again? Or should I initiate some contact with her? No matter which one I know in the end I will be just fine with or without her but I would just like to know which would be better in terms of a possible reconciliation. There's NOTHING I can do to make her come back she has to want to on her own I know, but I just don’t want to mess anything up more. Thanks
Chi townD Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Dude, this chick is damaged goods. Hooks up with a guy and sleeps with you? Here's the deal. She made the choice to have you out of her life. That was her choice. She trying to cake eat. She wants to know that you're still pining away for her. In the meantime, she gets the passion and intimacy of the other guy. How is this fair to you? Dude, there are pleaty of women out there that know how to treat a man. Okay, so you learn from what you might have done wrong in your previous relationship; make corrections within yourself and apply them to your new relationship when your ready to date. But, right now. Go NC and heal from this. Don't contact her at all. and move on. She's already moved on to someone else. You deserve better.
bbronco Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I would continue NC...if it's been a month and she still hasn't attempted to reach out, then don't ruin the good streak you've been on so far! She might be expecting you to cave at some point but don't give her the pleasure of potentially ignoring your text and making you feel like **** again. If anything, she needs to feel the guilt of hurting you by going to this new guy before you ever boost her ego of coming around a month later and letting her know in a subtle way that you're still thinking about her. I've been NC for 3 weeks and I've never been able to go longer than this...but surprisingly, it might happen this time around!
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