Cityslick Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 My girlfriend of 4 years dumped me and then a week later she has a new boyfriend, some kid she knew from high school. We had started dating towards the end of college and its mostly been a long distance relationship in that she lives an hour away and we saw each other only once or twice a week. According to her, everything went wrong in our relationship towards the end and she was unhappy. Basically, she felt that there was no more chemistry, no more romance, and she said she felt like we were an old couple that never did anything, basically she got bored. She also said she thought we would be farther along by now and she was tired of waiting. The breakup was bad because she broke up with me over the phone. I then called a few days later and we talked about why it ended. Then a week later I asked to talk to her again and she said she was busy that weekend but she would call me that week. I found out she was with this new guy and I kinda flipped out. I called her friend to ask if she was cheating (bad idea). I called her cell (obv she didn't pick up) and then I called her house (worse idea). Anyway a few days later my friend convinced my ex to call me for closure. I asked if she cheated and she said no. She was very upset at me and said I was emotionally unstable. I told her how much I still loved her and that was it, we hung up. About 2-3 weeks later I'm on facebook (the devil) and come to see that she's not only posting "i love you" msgs to her new guy all over her page, but she still had pictures of us, even kissing! I didn't get it and I got upset so I texted her that we're not friends and I don't want to be associated with her at all and to take all of my pictures off of her page. She called me back angry at first and then tried to play if off as "Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway." Her excuse was that she didn't have "time" to delete them. She said she would rather me hate her to get over it than to keep playing mind games. She took the pics down from FB and blocked me plus defriended our friends that we both knew. I'm still emotional about her and somehow talking to her calmed me down. I told her at the end of our convo that I would call her but I went NC immediately afterwards and haven't spoken to her in a little over a month. Thanksgiving was extremely hard since she was always with me and my family. Her birthday is coming up soon and I'm afraid to contact her again even though I want to so bad. For the females, is it truly over? Am I never going to see/speak to her again? It's been a month NC and I'm still in a helluva lot of pain here. Don't really know what to do anymore...
BardoPond Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Honestly, I'm in pretty much the same situation. They were together for three weeks before I found out though. It's pretty bloody rough but really the best thing to do right now is accept that it is what it is. You can't change what she's done or what she is doing, let them have each other. Take your time to grieve obviously but when you do start coming out the other side you'll see that NC is the golden rule (it's honestly going to make things much easier) and really just find something to work on. Change has been forced on you and I know that sucks but all you can do is start to roll with the punches. You'll have the forum with you every step of the way so don't ever be afraid to ask advice or what have you.
Author Cityslick Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Is it a bad idea if I contact her on her birthday coming up? Even if its just to say hey how r u?
Chi townD Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 This chick is cold....By the way, she was lying to you. She was cheating on you. You don't end a four year relationship then with in a few days jump into a new relationship that quickly without something being there beforehand. PLUS, her being comfortable enough to post "I love you" messages on her FB page THAT QUICKLY?!?! There was something happening. ANd what's REALLY cold is her doing it KNOWING that you're still her Facebook friend and KNOWING that you would see it! She is heartless, cold and selfish. Hard NC, dude. Don't budge on this what-so-ever!!! If you feel like texting her, calling her or e-mailing her; post here instead. If she trys to contact you (which I doubt) ignore it and post here instead. Screw her birthday! SHe made the choice to have you out of her life, so that's EXACTLY what you give her. No "being friends" BS!!! Damn, I'm angry for you!!!!! Grrrrrr........
BardoPond Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I nearly contacted my ex, although for different reasons, and trust me when I say don't. You'll feel it was the right thing to do when you look back on it.
olivec Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 My girlfriend of 4 years dumped me and then a week later she has a new boyfriend, some kid she knew from high school. We had started dating towards the end of college and its mostly been a long distance relationship in that she lives an hour away and we saw each other only once or twice a week. According to her, everything went wrong in our relationship towards the end and she was unhappy. Basically, she felt that there was no more chemistry, no more romance, and she said she felt like we were an old couple that never did anything, basically she got bored. She also said she thought we would be farther along by now and she was tired of waiting. The breakup was bad because she broke up with me over the phone. I then called a few days later and we talked about why it ended. Then a week later I asked to talk to her again and she said she was busy that weekend but she would call me that week. I found out she was with this new guy and I kinda flipped out. I called her friend to ask if she was cheating (bad idea). I called her cell (obv she didn't pick up) and then I called her house (worse idea). Anyway a few days later my friend convinced my ex to call me for closure. I asked if she cheated and she said no. She was very upset at me and said I was emotionally unstable. I told her how much I still loved her and that was it, we hung up. About 2-3 weeks later I'm on facebook (the devil) and come to see that she's not only posting "i love you" msgs to her new guy all over her page, but she still had pictures of us, even kissing! I didn't get it and I got upset so I texted her that we're not friends and I don't want to be associated with her at all and to take all of my pictures off of her page. She called me back angry at first and then tried to play if off as "Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway." Her excuse was that she didn't have "time" to delete them. She said she would rather me hate her to get over it than to keep playing mind games. She took the pics down from FB and blocked me plus defriended our friends that we both knew. I'm still emotional about her and somehow talking to her calmed me down. I told her at the end of our convo that I would call her but I went NC immediately afterwards and haven't spoken to her in a little over a month. Thanksgiving was extremely hard since she was always with me and my family. Her birthday is coming up soon and I'm afraid to contact her again even though I want to so bad. For the females, is it truly over? Am I never going to see/speak to her again? It's been a month NC and I'm still in a helluva lot of pain here. Don't really know what to do anymore... Man shes no good period. Just move on because if she'll do that to you its only a metter of time before she does that to this new guy. Also i'm not trying to sound cruel here, but it sounds like she may have been cheating on you with this new guy for awhile because it seems way too quick shes dating someone new. Anyway stay strong man and focus on yourself and keep NC.
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