Zabs Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 For me it would be.. "I still love you and I always have...but relationships don't work when there is no communication. I am not a mind reader. I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I hope peace finds you soon."
stunned8165 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 LOL.. It wouldn't be pretty right off the bat. Thats for damn sure.
mike588 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 You said you didn't want to see me get hurt, so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?
Jono85 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 either: go f*ck yourself...or, this ship has sailed byatch toss up.
Jono85 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 For me it would be.. "I still love you and I always have...but relationships don't work when there is no communication. I am not a mind reader. I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I hope peace finds you soon." You said you didn't want to see me get hurt, so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried? *vomits* i don't know when when it became cool for ppl to throw themselves pity parties. if it's one thing i've learned when dealing with my current breakup (ie. i'm crushing her, but i've never lied, cheated, nothing, just never materialized into love after 4 months or so) i've learned it's so pathetic when people guilt you, or feel sorry for themselves, pity themselves etc etc. so very unattractive. no one likes that. take ownership for what happens to yourselves. do u really want your ex to pity you and feel sorry for u? is that going to make her/him love you all of a sudden? no. so stop. deal with it internally, no one wants to hear that stuff. sorry for the vent, but tough love is needed here imo.
chados Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 i do want to say that i didn't appreciate her behavior before the breakup. she was a mature person and became immature like a child. this makes me angry to think about. its like a mixed feeling, you do want her to feel your wrath. but still you are incapable of hurting her. anyway, i've moved on, its just that it hurts you badly when a person loves you one day and then treats you like a idiot because they are to afraid of telling you what they want. its just insane how people can change when they are afraid of hurting someone, they just dont realize that they hurt you even more by acting different. and when youre asking them, why are you acting like this? they say, what are you talking about. but youre not blind, you can tell by every move she makes, you know this is the end, and when you ask her. she says, i dont know. no respect what so ever. this is gonna sound bad, but it felt good that she cried when i told her to not contact me at this point. that was 1 month after the breakup.
radiodarcy Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 ummm. no idea. most likely nothing. he doesn't give a crap about me one way or another. so why should i waste my breath?
Anna84 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Had I known then what I know right now, we wouldn't have broken up. this one I like.
Author Zabs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 *vomits* i don't know when when it became cool for ppl to throw themselves pity parties. if it's one thing i've learned when dealing with my current breakup (ie. i'm crushing her, but i've never lied, cheated, nothing, just never materialized into love after 4 months or so) i've learned it's so pathetic when people guilt you, or feel sorry for themselves, pity themselves etc etc. so very unattractive. no one likes that. take ownership for what happens to yourselves. do u really want your ex to pity you and feel sorry for u? is that going to make her/him love you all of a sudden? no. so stop. deal with it internally, no one wants to hear that stuff. sorry for the vent, but tough love is needed here imo. PMSL@Jono It would be interesting to read your story Jono...If you read mine...I am pretty sure you wouldn't refer to my frustration as a "poor me" story. Also, at the same speed..the thread is regarding what you would say to your ex...not what you would say to members of the forum...Learn to read JMHO No love, Zabs
Jono85 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 PMSL@Jono It would be interesting to read your story Jono...If you read mine...I am pretty sure you wouldn't refer to my frustration as a "poor me" story. Also, at the same speed..the thread is regarding what you would say to your ex...not what you would say to members of the forum...Learn to read JMHO No love, Zabs lol @ no love. well why "i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't". so you're a helpless being? i don't know your story, you're right. maybe it's unfair of me. but i just don't like it when ppl throw guilt trips and that is what you're quote sort of sounds like. none of us can force our exes to be with us. and guilting them for not wanting to be with us will accomplish nothing.
Author Zabs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 @Jono Spelling it out in black and white.... It doesn't matter what I do or don't do..he is never happy. He says he hates me..I have broken his heart...but then sends me pictures of myself to my phone, calls me at 3am, follows me, follows friends, makes unecessary links with people he thinks I know...creates false aliases to gain information...erm stalkerish behaviour. And before we have any wise cracks from you or anyone else on the site, police intervention is not an option. HENCE...Damned if... Current situation..NC..initiated by him...he is still not happy? So what... Tell me Freud..what do you think? Zabs
Author Zabs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Ps; I am not guilting him into anything...I just have to think of myself and the adjustments I have to make to my life to make a full physical health recovery. I am really not bothered about anything else..but the constant yoyoing and stress exacerbates my "physical" condition. Zabs
radiodarcy Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 lol @ no love. well why "i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't". so you're a helpless being? i don't know your story, you're right. maybe it's unfair of me. but i just don't like it when ppl throw guilt trips and that is what you're quote sort of sounds like. none of us can force our exes to be with us. and guilting them for not wanting to be with us will accomplish nothing. fair enough. but that's what this board is for: to vent and commiserate with others who are going through the same thing. i don't see anything wrong with that -- as long as people use it to get their feelings out - - and not as a way to dwell on their negative feelings. i don't see the harm. posts like these are simply an outlet for the feelings that go along with being dumped. it's better than saying these things directly to the dumper.
shayla Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I sat here for 10 minutes with the cursor blinking before it dawned on me. I have nothing to say to my ex-good, bad, or otherwise. I have arrived at the land of indifference and it feels goooood.
Jono85 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 @Jono Spelling it out in black and white.... It doesn't matter what I do or don't do..he is never happy. He says he hates me..I have broken his heart...but then sends me pictures of myself to my phone, calls me at 3am, follows me, follows friends, makes unecessary links with people he thinks I know...creates false aliases to gain information...erm stalkerish behaviour. And before we have any wise cracks from you or anyone else on the site, police intervention is not an option. HENCE...Damned if... Current situation..NC..initiated by him...he is still not happy? So what... Tell me Freud..what do you think? Zabs ok but realize that if you've even ONCE responded to any of his nonsense, and said anything to him, you are not exactly guilt free. clearly, from ur OP, u still love this guy. but it's also clear that he's hurting you quite a bit, and sounds a bit scary to be honest. so again, if you've been strict NC, ie. not entertaining ONE of his texts, calls, emails, etc with not one word, then you're doing all u can. if u have, which i'm willing to bet, you're not. eventually he'll get tired of stalking you if u give him absolutely nothing in return. but it may take over a year, who knows.
Jono85 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 fair enough. but that's what this board is for: to vent and commiserate with others who are going through the same thing. i don't see anything wrong with that -- as long as people use it to get their feelings out - - and not as a way to dwell on their negative feelings. i don't see the harm. posts like these are simply an outlet for the feelings that go along with being dumped. it's better than saying these things directly to the dumper. and i get that. but this thread is also asking what you'd say to your ex if given the chance, so i was just venting at people wanting to say anything in self-pity or how crushed they are, etc. it probably was unfair, as this is only a thread, ie. not the real thing. i'm like this b/c i did that last year with my ex that crushed me and i wish i didn't. not b/c i would have wanted her back, but b/c i want to be better than that. i'm responsible for my feelings, and i shouldn't put that on anyone else. even though she lied, strung me along, left me for her ex, emotionally cheated, and more, i wish i was stronger and dealt with it on my own, rather than write her email after email upset, crushed, guilting her, etc. she didn't want to be with me, and that's EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW. i realize that now. trying to inflict pain on her back by telling her how much she hurt me and how unfair she acted really accomplishes nothing.
olivec Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 For me it would be.. "I still love you and I always have...but relationships don't work when there is no communication. I am not a mind reader. I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I hope peace finds you soon." Been there done that. It really doesn't matter because your ex won't care what you say to him or her because they are never coming back. Most people think if they could say one more thing it'll snap their ex back into love with them. It just never happends. I've learned from my last experience it's best to move on and not look back and don't worry about what you may say. Because if they didn't listen to you when the breakup happend they will never listen later on.
radiodarcy Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 and i get that. but this thread is also asking what you'd say to your ex if given the chance, so i was just venting at people wanting to say anything in self-pity or how crushed they are, etc. it probably was unfair, as this is only a thread, ie. not the real thing. i'm like this b/c i did that last year with my ex that crushed me and i wish i didn't. not b/c i would have wanted her back, but b/c i want to be better than that. i'm responsible for my feelings, and i shouldn't put that on anyone else. even though she lied, strung me along, left me for her ex, emotionally cheated, and more, i wish i was stronger and dealt with it on my own, rather than write her email after email upset, crushed, guilting her, etc. she didn't want to be with me, and that's EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW. i realize that now. trying to inflict pain on her back by telling her how much she hurt me and how unfair she acted really accomplishes nothing. ahh, believe me - - i speak from experience myself. i wrote volumes of letters to my ex trying to guilt him into feeling bad for the way he treated me. was it a bad idea? of course. but that doesn't mean that my feelings aren't real and that they don't deserve an outlet. while it's certainly not healthy to vent to your ex, holding everything in isn't healthy either. so as long as your ex isn't hearing about it directly- - let it out!
Author Zabs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 and i get that. but this thread is also asking what you'd say to your ex if given the chance, so i was just venting at people wanting to say anything in self-pity or how crushed they are, etc. it probably was unfair, as this is only a thread, ie. not the real thing. i'm like this b/c i did that last year with my ex that crushed me and i wish i didn't. not b/c i would have wanted her back, but b/c i want to be better than that. i'm responsible for my feelings, and i shouldn't put that on anyone else. even though she lied, strung me along, left me for her ex, emotionally cheated, and more, i wish i was stronger and dealt with it on my own, rather than write her email after email upset, crushed, guilting her, etc. she didn't want to be with me, and that's EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW. i realize that now. trying to inflict pain on her back by telling her how much she hurt me and how unfair she acted really accomplishes nothing. To many people here...this is as real as it gets...the ones who talk are strong...not weak. Your second paragraph is the reason WHY you come across so antagonistic..because you did what has been talked about and suffered for it. We are all here to support each other Jono :cool:and whereas I understand exactly where you are coming from...there is a point where sometimes you have to be the bigger person. For me, I would LOVE to have a scenario that is commonplace on here..where I have been simply dumped..whatever...but as I am sure you can see there is more at play. Add into the mix my ex is unwell mentally and I am both having pyschological and neurological tests atm...I am keen to save myself. For perhaps yourself and others that don't know, I suffer from paraylsis, which can happen at anytime, anywhere..which renders me as such anywhere from 30mins to 4 hours. Being over excited/stressed/depressed..or any other extreme feeling can bring this on as well as being tired/busy etc and as I am sure you can imagine, having a Bi-polar diagnosis... is not easy! I am simply saying to him that if he don't want to talk..that's fine but let me get on with my life..withoutconstantly monitoring my movements. He cna't let go..that is the problem and although I have hurt him...I have apologised. Either draw a line in the sand and forgive or move on and forget..Simple. Much love, Zabs xx
Author Zabs Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Been there done that. It really doesn't matter because your ex won't care what you say to him or her because they are never coming back. Most people think if they could say one more thing it'll snap their ex back into love with them. It just never happends. I've learned from my last experience it's best to move on and not look back and don't worry about what you may say. Because if they didn't listen to you when the breakup happend they will never listen later on. Perhaps in your case Olive...but like I said to Jono..that is NOT my experience... And PLEEEEASE...dont infer me as a weeping, wallowing hopeful..because THAT I am not. :mad:An increasingly, irritated Zabs No F***ing love:D
fucpcg Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I am so very sorry for everything that I got wrong, and in our time apart I was very clearly able to see it, and it really hurts me that I ever hurt you. Time has proven one thing, I can survive without you, but life was never better than when I was with you. You are still my queen, and I miss you soo much.
olivec Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Perhaps in your case Olive...but like I said to Jono..that is NOT my experience... And PLEEEEASE...dont infer me as a weeping, wallowing hopeful..because THAT I am not. :mad:An increasingly, irritated Zabs No F***ing love:D Never said you were. Just explaining my point of view. Do what you like. But most on here would agree that trying to talk to an ex one more last time is useless. If you wanna get your feeling out talk to friends or write your feelings on paper and get the closure you need that way and move on. It seems like your still in the denial stage? Get on with your life and don't worry about the past. I know it may sound harsh but it's true.
ditzchic Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I felt something with you that I've never felt with anyone before. Thank you for helping me realize that I can love a boy with all my heart. But a bigger 'thank you' for helping me realize how happy I will be it will when I find a MAN I can feel that same way about.
patience82 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I would say: thank you for making me what i am today .. If you had stayed longer i could have dumped you for myself ,, Its just too bad we're not together anymore, now that im doing great. I know you'll never find someone else who'll slave for you like I did w/c was the biggest mistake of my life ... Regardless, i saw you the other day, you look terrible,, you think your beard fits you? you look like a drunk scavenger.. If those designers knows youre wearing their items theyll put you in jail ... So yes we did the right thing, to break up ,, and for what its worthh youre not easy to forget you're just easy to change
Recommended Posts