joiner16 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 So after 3 months of no contact I am back in contact with my ex. On our second meet up we had a chat about what happened then we kissed and slept with each other. Since then we have been seeing each other about once or twice a week for about 6 weeks have been in contact one way or another most days. I just don’t know where I stand. I really enjoy being with her. She made a point the other day that its like we never broke up. As we kiss and cuddle and still have a good time. I’m not sure if I should just wait and see or to have a chat about the situation. All advise would help!
John123 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Well, you're already in the spot where most people on this forum wold love to think you should talk to her about it. You have been pretty much dating for 6 weeks...
Author joiner16 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 sometimes she can be a bit stand offish. Im want to talk to her but im worried she might just be using me in some way or not have the same feelings as me. In my mind i think we just about act like we are dating that so i assume she shares the same feelings
smokey bear Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Do you feel as if she is holding all the cards? As if she acts like shes top dog and its all on her terms or do you feel its equal?
Million.to.1 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Who ended the relationship the first time around? Who initiated the contact when this time around? and why did it end? ....
othersideofthepillow Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 You need to have this convo as soon as possible to avoid any miss communication, miss guided feelings and fear about what you guys are now that you are spending time together again. Being that it has been 6 weeks of this - it's time to bring it up. Don't just waltz up and demand to know anything but bring it up casually and make sure its not in any way threatening. Think of it this way....who's to say she's not waiting for you to make it official again. Who's to say that she's not sleeping with someone else when she's not with you? Who's to say she's not using you? Who's to say she's not in love with you again? You wont know till you ask cause chances are she's not just come right out and tell you which one it is. Everything is going great for you right now and like the other poster said you are where we all want to be. As scary as it is, you need to find out where you guys are going with being back together. I hope you get the best news of your life and she says she wants to go for it again! Best of Luck!
Author joiner16 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 I do sometimes feel like she is holding the cards and it is on her terms but not always... she initiated contact say i had mail and that when i was free i could come and get it. Which i did and at the same time i gave her a hand written letter i wrote explaining my feelings. The next day we started seeing each other It is quite scary to think about bringing up the situation for the reason of rejection but i guess the longer it goes on the harder it may become
mike588 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Do you feel as if she is holding all the cards? As if she acts like shes top dog and its all on her terms or do you feel its equal? Sadly the person who cares least in the relationship holds the most power.
EnchantedOne Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 So after 3 months of no contact I am back in contact with my ex. On our second meet up we had a chat about what happened then we kissed and slept with each other. Since then we have been seeing each other about once or twice a week for about 6 weeks have been in contact one way or another most days. I just don’t know where I stand. I really enjoy being with her. She made a point the other day that its like we never broke up. As we kiss and cuddle and still have a good time. I’m not sure if I should just wait and see or to have a chat about the situation. All advise would help! Whyd you guys break up? It can be hard to have sex with an ex, especially if one wants the other one back. My ex and I dont want to be in any BF/GF relationship together right now. Nor do we want anyone else. However, we have sex, cuddle, kiss, hold hands, go on dates, have dinners ect At first I did bring up that it was just like we hadnt broken up and we both pulled back a lot. He said it frustrated him when I said that b/c it confused both of us. We talked and we both still dont want a relationship with anyone right now. It hurt my feelings even though we both decided this all. I took a couple days of little talking and NO seeing him. I am not sure Id have that talk right now. Just give it a little time and if things go well for a while, then ask her if she wants to try again or just do what youre doing. If you ask her and shes not into a second chance she may walk away again. I see NO rush in pushing the relationship status. If you have ground rules and agree to not date or sleep with others, it could work a bit. I think you need to be honest and let her know you hope you can be together sometime. Now and then I think of being with my ex in a BF/GF relationship and I wouldnt mind it. Him and I also both know we kind of have each other now. We will probably re-evaluate things between us in a few months.
EnchantedOne Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 sometimes she can be a bit stand offish. Im want to talk to her but im worried she might just be using me in some way or not have the same feelings as me. In my mind i think we just about act like we are dating that so i assume she shares the same feelings If you want this to work out, you need to just be honest with her and tell her what you are hoping will happen. I know my ex and I want to be together one day and he knows I want that b/c we did talk. We both agree honesty is the best thing with us right now. We have a rule, if one of us thinks we are hurting b/c we want more then the other one we will let the other know and then decide if we should continue or not.
EnchantedOne Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 We have made rules for what is and is not acceptable to us. If either of us starts talking to someone else we need to let the other person know. If we are going to have sex with another person, we need to let the other know so THEY can decide if they want things to end.
Author joiner16 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Posted December 8, 2011 She initiated a break but then i needed time to work out what i need in the relationship and in life and went no contact... I know this is a situation that many people would love to be in but it really is playing my mind. Im worried about bringing it up with her for the possibility of her saying no but im tired of tip toeing around wondering
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