LK30 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Hi all, I'm always on here talking about my hard luck stories but wanted to share another one! I was at a youth group last night teaching First Aid as I'm a youth worker myself and there was another youth worker there who was quite attractive but fairly timid. Obviously I was teaching so didn't have much time to socialise, but I won't be going back to this youth group again as I was only doing a short piece of training. At the end of the evening the kids went and myself and my colleague had a cup of tea and a chat alongside her colleague (sadly I didn't get to speak to her one to one) but my confidence grew and I asked her lots of questions. She's from London and in the area at University as training to be a teacher. I work in Education as a day job and would also like to be a teacher, and we had a good chat and I made lots of jokes (tried not to be obvious I wa flirting in case the others noticed). Eventually we had to go but I didn't ask for her number as it didn't seem 'professional.' I've spotted her profile on Facebook and alot is secure (as I've not added her as a friend as it might look creepy so soon!) but I'm 32 and I'd guess she's 22 ish. That held me back slightly too, and of course I don't know if she's single. I managed to drop in cleverly that I was though!! When I looked at her FB profile all I can really see is a pic of her and a guy kissing her on the cheek. She's got a funny expression, but I'm assuming that's the boyfriend. I mean why else would you put a pic of that on there and she didn't look in distress! It was a shame I saw that, and to be fair pretty girls round here are rarely single. I could add her as a friend but I rarely accept people unless I know them and not just someone I've met once. I'm not sure what to do, and feels like yet another opportunity is passing me by. Perhaps the picture is someone's way of saying move on because if I hadn't seen it I'd be thinking about it loads, eventually ask her out and then her say 'i've got a bf' and all that time would have been wasted! Any thoughts welcome! Thanks!
you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 bro ask her out even if she has a boyfriend, its her job to say she has a boyfriend and its a no go not yours. even if she says that she has a boyfriend the fact that you asked her makes you just a little stronger, and perhaps you will luck out and she is single. its a win -lose nothing scenario, not as good as win-win but good enough.
Author LK30 Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Thanks for your reply! Chances are I won't see her again as typically I saw her on the last of several trips to that group. She's on FB but don't really want to befriend her based on one conversation as I'd find it a bit creepy so can't expect her to be any different. Perhaps I'm making excuses and i would've given the same advice as you but I guess as I'm in the situation myself it suddenly doesn't seem so easy!!
you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Thanks for your reply! Chances are I won't see her again as typically I saw her on the last of several trips to that group. She's on FB but don't really want to befriend her based on one conversation as I'd find it a bit creepy so can't expect her to be any different. Perhaps I'm making excuses and i would've given the same advice as you but I guess as I'm in the situation myself it suddenly doesn't seem so easy!! very true I can give all the advice in the world but when it comes to approaching a girl I am really attracted to, man it's difficult. but I think you should add her! if you don't see her a lot you don't risk embarrassment really. plus I have added people I have just meet before, It really isn't a biggy, you just think it cause the girl is special in your mind;) but objectively there is nothin creepy about adding her.
Author LK30 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 No I think I've bottled it! Someone else wrote back to 'get over it' and that's she's no big deal and she's 10 years younger so I think I'll just try to forget about her!!
Author LK30 Posted December 26, 2011 Author Posted December 26, 2011 Well the news is that about two weeks ago I added the girl on Facebook as by coincidence her colleague added me so I thought if I add the girl I like now then it will blend in a bit better! I ended up talking to this girl and in the end FB chatting back and forwards over the last couple of weeks. In the end we met up. She has a boyfriend but I've been totally respectful and just got to know her as a friend because I really haven't got any female friends. But as you know, people aren't allowed to be friends with the opposite sex in the UK without others' suggestive remarks there's more to it. The girl did admit that she does find me attractive but has no plans to leave her bf, but really this suits me and is less complicated. I'm conscious that her bf won't be happy about us hanging out, but that's all about trust and the strange thing is I'm the 1 out of 10 guys who wouldn't take advantage. I expect if anyone replies it will be negative, but appreciate anyone's comments. I guess the fact I've made a new friend can't be a bad thing and I'm just enjoying getting a bit of female attention to be honest!
Author LK30 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 Well since I wrote my original thread I updated it by saying I ended up adding this 21 year old girl on FB as she was really pretty, and then I found out she had a bf. Despite this we carried on chatting and I met up with her once or twice. I was always surprised her bf was so lenient about us meeting and there was clearly some chemistry. Last week to my surprise she messaged me to say he and her bf had split up! It was him that ended it and she was adamant it wasn't due to me, but he said he felt they were drifting apart for ages and he fell out of love with her. I suppose that explains why he was so relaxed about her meeting up with me for drinks, and walks etc! Things were so much easier when they were together and the weird thing is I have feelings for her but realistically a lot of it is just fantasy. At the end of the day we got on well but we have quite different interests. She told me today due to the circumstances she's moving back to London (about 2 hours away) in March. I'm really cut up coz we've had some great times together and it strangely feels like we've split up with each other even though we weren't in a relationship!! It'll be hard to say goodbye, but I'm really upset and not sure what to think or do. Can someone please help?
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