Oxy Moronovich Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Women actually seem to be more interested in men when they are in a relationship. When a woman dumps her boyfriend, she usually already has a man she's interested in. So there's nothing wrong with going with a woman with a boyfriend. That's how chicks operate. They look at men more when they are in a relationship.
eleanorhurting Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 So how exactly do people decide to end relationships then? sure she would end her relationship if things were really bad, but in most circumstance someone does not move on until they see the prospect of having a better relationship with someone else. I mean this girl has probably had a fair share of good times with her boyfriend in the one year or so they have been together and would rather be with him than be alone. but if a better alternative is found why should it be seen as so demonic of her to go for what feels better? I am not asking her to cheat! I am proposing that she start letting go of the other guy in favor of me. People who are co-dependent and with low self esteem do this. Trust me, it happened to me. I was that girl. And it took some huge shaking and therapy to snap out of the habit. Dont be naive and dont be plain stupid and childish
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 She's young, she's not married. A while ago, I'd say stick to your principles and don't get involved. That path however, will lead you to celibacy. So, in light of my own (lack of) experience, I say go for it and let the chips fall where they may. It's not your business whether or not she has a boyfriend, especially since she never told you so. Do what you want to do, and let her do what she wants to do. If her boyfriend doesn't like it, well that's tough toenails and not your problem. Good luck. this is what I like to hear, I would say relationship in the college stage are often short term for certain people. she may be seeing this guy but its not serious.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 People who are co-dependent and with low self esteem do this. Trust me, it happened to me. I was that girl. And it took some huge shaking and therapy to snap out of the habit. Dont be naive and dont be plain stupid and childish just cause you needed therapy doesn't mean this girl I am after needs it! like I have said I suspect that she wasn't all that serious with this guy in the first place, so she doesn't have no co-dependency issue. have you never gone out with more than one guy at a given period, before committing to one you liked more? you can't just date one guy at a time, you maybe be lose the oppertunity with the other guy if the one you decided on doesn't work out.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 Women actually seem to be more interested in men when they are in a relationship. When a woman dumps her boyfriend, she usually already has a man she's interested in. So there's nothing wrong with going with a woman with a boyfriend. That's how chicks operate. They look at men more when they are in a relationship. today I got further validation that she is attracted to me, you know when a girl laughs at things you say which aren't really that funny while she didn't used to? and occasionally looks at you while sitting next to you for no reason and also when she is sitting afar she looks at your direction. yeah I almost certain she is attracted to me but I am not sure yet if she will date me. at first I was fine with only being her but now that I get the vibe that is attracted to me It is pretty hard to shake off the urge to ask her out to a date.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Do it, man. Ask her. Don't hesitate. Women get scared off and impatient easily.
Mr Frisky Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I don't get it are you implying that what I have written is stupid or ridiculous? if so tell me why exactly. Tsk Tsk..Friend. The continued pursuit of this young lady with another man is very demonic. Hang your head in shame, good sir.
ThsAmericanLife Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) I think you missed the point. It's not about the other guy. It's about how you'll feel when she inevitably does the same thing to you. People who are willing to look around and/or flirt with other guys before they've ended the relationship will do that no matter who they're dating. A girl worth dating will end her current relationship if it's not meeting her needs without needing another branch to swing to. Thinking she won't do the same to you because she'll be "happier" is naive. If she'll do it to her current bf, she'll do it to you. If you wouldn't mind having her flirt with other guys and give them the impression she's into them while she's your gf, then maybe you're right for her. Most people would (rightfully) have a problem with that. I agree with this 100% For the OP, I had a crush on a guy who did the same thing... flirted (excessively), including a fair amount of touching, emails, and phone calls... after a few weeks of this, I mentioned that it seemed we had a mutual attraction... and it was then and only then he finally told me he had a GF. I ended the flirtation immediately... and my interest (current and future) is likely now gone for good. He did break up with his GF a few months later, and seems to be interested in me now... but his early behavior was a huge red flag. I honestly can't get myself excited about him again. Really was disappointing overall... why is that?? Because the guy *I* want wouldn't respect me for acting any other way. ... and after reading more of the posts... it looks like the OP has dreamed up every possible reason to do what he wants. Yep, these two deserve each other. It will be a race to see whom sucks whom dry first. Happens every day. Edited December 1, 2011 by ThsAmericanLife
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 well it seems I have a twist in this case of mine. I am starting to get the impression that this girl I was talking about actually may not have a boyfriend at all!!! I never learned for sure if she had a boyfriend I just assumed it was so cause her profile pic had this guy beside her. but It is looking more and more like this guy might just be a friend of hers. I get this feeling even more so, because today she actually approached me, and while that in itself is a rare thing for a girl to do, it is even more rare for a girl who is already in a relationship to do such a thing. I'd say she is actively looking to date. and that is not a behavior I associate with non single women, even if a girl is open to dating while she is already in a relationship she usually passively participates and lets the guy do the approaching. and all this time I've been getting such hate from you guys on this forum:mad: so what, you guys still think I am a rotten guy?
LostInTurn Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 So how exactly do people decide to end relationships then? sure she would end her relationship if things were really bad, but in most circumstance someone does not move on until they see the prospect of having a better relationship with someone else. I mean this girl has probably had a fair share of good times with her boyfriend in the one year or so they have been together and would rather be with him than be alone. but if a better alternative is found why should it be seen as so demonic of her to go for what feels better? I am not asking her to cheat! I am proposing that she start letting go of the other guy in favor of me. Do you know the man she is dating? Why are you better than him in a way that would make her want to consider leaving him? There was a time when I thought (I still do) that all relationship will inevitably end, but this post just doesn't fall into that category. Maybe their relationship will end because he doesn't check the mail, or they can't agree what color to paint the living room, or he always picks his friends over her, or he plays video games when she wants to play Monopoly. Understand where I'm going with this? The fact that their relationship 'may' end doesn't mean it would be because one of them has met someone else. Also, some hard and fast advice... they could be meant for one another and their relationship may not end, at all. If I was you, I would move on. Let it go. Let them be and don't try and get in the way of two people's happiness. That does not make you a good person, and if you tried breaking up my relationship to get with me, you'd be disappointed because I wouldn't want to give you a chance because I'd see you as disrespectful and sleazy.
LostInTurn Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 well it seems I have a twist in this case of mine. I am starting to get the impression that this girl I was talking about actually may not have a boyfriend at all!!! I never learned for sure if she had a boyfriend I just assumed it was so cause her profile pic had this guy beside her. but It is looking more and more like this guy might just be a friend of hers. I get this feeling even more so, because today she actually approached me, and while that in itself is a rare thing for a girl to do, it is even more rare for a girl who is already in a relationship to do such a thing. I'd say she is actively looking to date. and that is not a behavior I associate with non single women, even if a girl is open to dating while she is already in a relationship she usually passively participates and lets the guy do the approaching. and all this time I've been getting such hate from you guys on this forum:mad: so what, you guys still think I am a rotten guy? Just because someone approaches you, doesn't mean anything. It's called, being friendly.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 Just because someone approaches you, doesn't mean anything. It's called, being friendly. sure I can't know definitely what her intentions are until I get to having intimate physical contact and she overtly expresses her feelings for me! but the the context and manner in which she approached me, pretty much made it clear to me that she was attracted to me to an extent.
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