you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) So the situation is that this girl I like already has a boyfriend. she hasn't told me that she has a boyfriend, I just know because I have been searching around a little. After learning that she has a boyfriend, I decided to try to befriend her anyway cause I think she is pretty cool as a person even if I was not to have romantic relationship with her. but while I have been trying to become friends with her I sorta have also gotten the vibe that she is into me. now I know that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date me, I just want to ask you guys whether you think I should test my luck with this girl even though she has a boyfriend or maybe it's not such a good idea? I would also ask if it is common for younger girls to start dating other men even when they have boyfriends, any of the girls here decided to date another while they had a boyfriend? Edited November 30, 2011 by you_can_not_see_me
insertnamehere Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Do you have good medical coverage for the day the doctors tell you they're going to have to remove a portion of your skull and replace it with a plate? Sorry . . . I grew up pretty trashy.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Do you have good medical coverage for the day the doctors tell you they're going to have to remove a portion of your skull and replace it with a plate? Sorry . . . I grew up pretty trashy. I don't get it are you implying that what I have written is stupid or ridiculous? if so tell me why exactly.
The Way I Am Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 If you want a girlfriend who's eventually going to be searching for a new boyfriend while she's date you, then yes, it a good idea. Go for it.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 If you want a girlfriend who's eventually going to be searching for a new boyfriend while she's date you, then yes, it a good idea. Go for it. come on don't make me feel guilty man. I don't want to ruin a good thing for the girl, but can't I at least entertain the idea that the girl may be happier with me than with the other guy? not every guy a girl has a relationship with is super compatible for her not to look for other choices. all I know is I really like this girl and if she is very close and happy with her boyfriend I am still alright with being her friend. but if there is a chance that I could have a romantic relationship with her I don't want to just blow it off.
The Way I Am Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 come on don't make me feel guilty man. I don't want to ruin a good thing for the girl, but can't I at least entertain the idea that the girl may be happier with me than with the other guy? not every guy a girl has a relationship with is super compatible for her not to look for other choices. I think you missed the point. It's not about the other guy. It's about how you'll feel when she inevitably does the same thing to you. People who are willing to look around and/or flirt with other guys before they've ended the relationship will do that no matter who they're dating. A girl worth dating will end her current relationship if it's not meeting her needs without needing another branch to swing to. Thinking she won't do the same to you because she'll be "happier" is naive. If she'll do it to her current bf, she'll do it to you. If you wouldn't mind having her flirt with other guys and give them the impression she's into them while she's your gf, then maybe you're right for her. Most people would (rightfully) have a problem with that.
insertnamehere Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 are you implying that what I have written is stupid or ridiculous? I grew up around tough people. The culture I grew up in, what your proposing was at minimum a trip to the hospital and at maximum a murder. Even at my old age, long since educated, rich and beyond that ****, I still see life through that filter. When someone talks about fooling around with another guy's girl, I always picture him breathing through a tube. While you may roll with a softer set, the fact is mankind is closest to his baser nature when we are competing for mates. People do crazy and sometimes dangerous **** to keep a mate.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 So how exactly do people decide to end relationships then? sure she would end her relationship if things were really bad, but in most circumstance someone does not move on until they see the prospect of having a better relationship with someone else. I mean this girl has probably had a fair share of good times with her boyfriend in the one year or so they have been together and would rather be with him than be alone. but if a better alternative is found why should it be seen as so demonic of her to go for what feels better? I am not asking her to cheat! I am proposing that she start letting go of the other guy in favor of me.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 I grew up around tough people. The culture I grew up in, what your proposing was at minimum a trip to the hospital and at maximum a murder. Even at my old age, long since educated, rich and beyond that ****, I still see life through that filter. When someone talks about fooling around with another guy's girl, I always picture him breathing through a tube. While you may roll with a softer set, the fact is mankind is closest to his baser nature when we are competing for mates. People do crazy and sometimes dangerous **** to keep a mate. again I am not trying to steal the girl! the choice would ultimately be hers and her boyfriend does not own her, so if she decides to go for me, he doesn't have any right to start a confrontation with me. trust me I do feel for the other guy in this situation also, If the two of them had a really good thing going on I wouldn't want to ruin it, but I am also not going to steer away from this girl simply cause she has a boyfriend, I also have a right to test my luck with this girl!
ChessPieceFace Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Yes it's a FANTASTIC IDEA. It's even BETTER if the existing BF is an ex-convict or psychopath. Post video.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 I wanna ask you, do you like it if your girlfriend going dating with other boy? Yes or not? So you already got the answer... the idea may be unpleasant, but realistically I think it would be fair that if she meet a guy who was more compatible she would want to be with him. she should of curse tell me and with her being honest I would say I would eventually consent to her breaking up with and going for the other guy. I would be hurt no doubt, but that is a part of romance. it is not as simple as you make it sound, I do promote cheating, what I am saying is that ending one relationship for another! its a weighing game, would the girl be willing to end a relationship she did enjoy to a degree for another than might be better but is uncertain.
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 So how exactly do people decide to end relationships then? A person who's a worthwhile relationship partner will look at their current relationship and decide, "This doesn't make me happy. Time to move on."
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Yes it's a FANTASTIC IDEA. It's even BETTER if the existing BF is an ex-convict or psychopath. Post video. nah I am pretty sure the boyfriend is rather chill. I actually think he is an alright guy and I don't have any ill feeling towards him. who knows maybe the boyfriend also has other women on his mind?
insertnamehere Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 so if she decides to go for me, he doesn't have any right to start a confrontation with me Men often go through a thorough and rational analysis right before bludgeoning each other. You, sir, have been awarded +10 naivete. nah I am pretty sure the boyfriend is rather chill. Back in the day my next door neighbor was out drinking and shooting pool under very similar circumstances with his girlfriend and a guy who liked his girlfriend. They got into an argument over the girl, and the guy playing the role of you left. My neighbor went and found him in an alley and beat him to death. He then loaded him in his car trunk, took him out in the middle of nowhere, dumped him in a ditch and torched the body. I've seen so many people beaten ****less for what you're proposing it's unreal. To steal a quote from 28 Days Later: This is a really **** idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a **** idea. No one here is going to back this clever idea of yours. If you want to go have a couple of your teeth knocked down your throat, go do it. Don't ask others to validate this clever plan. You don't hit on another guy's girl. Ever. Period. Did your parents teach you anything?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 again I am not trying to steal the girl! the choice would ultimately be hers and her boyfriend does not own her, so if she decides to go for me, he doesn't have any right to start a confrontation with me. trust me I do feel for the other guy in this situation also, If the two of them had a really good thing going on I wouldn't want to ruin it, but I am also not going to steer away from this girl simply cause she has a boyfriend, I also have a right to test my luck with this girl! Why are you even asking us what we think then? You made up your mind already. Although I suspect you know it's wrong.You simply don't care. But lets be clear about one thing and stop lying to yourself about this fact. Yes, you are trying to steal the girl away from her boyfriend. And if she is flirting and "dating" you while in a relationship with another man, you two deserve each other. And you both deserve what you get.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Men often go through a thorough and rational analysis right before bludgeoning each other. You, sir, have been awarded +10 naivete. Back in the day my next door neighbor was out drinking and shooting pool under very similar circumstances with his girlfriend and a guy who liked his girlfriend. They got into an argument over the girl, and the guy playing the role of you left. My neighbor went and found him in an alley and beat him to death. He then loaded him in his car trunk, took him out in the middle of nowhere, dumped him in a ditch and torched the body. I've seen so many people beaten ****less for what you're proposing it's unreal. To steal a quote from 28 Days Later: This is a really **** idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a **** idea. No one here is going to back this clever idea of yours. If you want to go have a couple of your teeth knocked down your throat, go do it. Don't ask others to validate this clever plan. You don't hit on another guy's girl. Ever. Period. Did your parents teach you anything? DUDE we are college students in a liberal part of the country I don't think he is gonna try to kill me because of this. he is just a college dude like myself, not some crazy red neck that would throw away his like just to get back at the guy who was hitting on his girlfriend.
joystickd Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Don't do it. You need to find yourself a nice single woman. Its not worth the hassle and drama. Think about you want a relationship with a cheater. If she cheats now she will cheat on you. Even in a college setting people do fight. You don't want to always be paranoid about someone getting you. Step back and look at this situation objectively and you will realize its not a good one.
Fosh Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 If she's flirting with you while in a relationship. That's a bad idea to go for her. Like others have stated, she wouldn't think twice when it comes to doing the same to you. People are never always 100% happy in a relationship, but they work on their problems everyday so that they eventually become happier in that particular relationship, assuming both parties involved want to stay in that relationship. That's a healthy relationship. She seems to be the type of person who when things get tough, she looks for other options instead of revitalizing the relationship. She instead seems like she'd go for another man instead of that. So no. You should not go for a girl in a relationship, even if she's seemingly into you.
Wolf18 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Man I've gone around with girls that have boyfriends before, it never ends right. In HS I got with a girl who had a boyfriend in college ( I assumed he was a wuss/happy cuckold), I would receive fellatio from her every thursday after gym class at the nearby park. One day I was waiting for her by the bathroom as usual, and a guy with a beard says "Hey, are you wolf18" in a nice guy voice , I said "yeah, whose asking are you jessica's dad or something", he grabbed me by the throat and hit me in the gut with brass knuckles quite a few times probably could've killed me with one more blow. I probably could've gotten him put away for that and my mom was almost forcing me to call the cops, then I thought to myself that I would've done the same thing, hopefully he taught the broad a lesson too. I'm thick headed so maybe 2 years ago, same mistake, only this was worse than getting beaten down by a boyfriend, this one just took me for a ride without even putting out . A girl similar to yours, older than me, claimed she fell in love with me after knowing me 2 days lol and was already making plans for me to move in with her. Later on I find out she has a boyfriend, she cries and apologizes and says she will leave him for me. Well, after much anger, bickering, and incredible amounts of mental durress that almost made me fail out of school, she changed her mind and stayed with her wealthy boyfriend. She lied to me that her father died and she didn't want to see anyone, in fact her father is alive and well and she ended up marrying her then boyfriend. Sick c*nt STILL has my favorite book in her possession . I know it's tempting, and IMO it seems like every girl has a ****ing boyfriend , so it's a catch 22. I would, all in all ,advise against it.
The Way I Am Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 So how exactly do people decide to end relationships then? You look at your relationship and decide if it's making you happy. If not, you end it. If it is, you stay in the relationship and don't flirt with other people. How would a relationship ever work if you were always considering whether other people were more compatible than your current partner? I don't know how you could feel very secure in a relationship knowing that your partner is sizing up every other man as a potential replacement. I could never feel comfortable being committed to a guy I thought was always looking for greener grass. the idea may be unpleasant, but realistically I think it would be fair that if she meet a guy who was more compatible she would want to be with him. If you have no problem being in her current bf's position and having her talking to another guy like she has been with you, then by all means go for it. Don't say nobody warned you though when you start to wonder what's up with her and that guy who she claims is just a friend but seems to be spending a little too much time with... FYI, with people who jump from relationship to relationship, it's rarely about who's more compatible with them and more often that they're bored of the old and want that new relationship high. And they almost always lie to the bf/gf. It might not be cheating, but it deceitful and for most people, hurts when it happens to them. You must be very unique to be okay with a gf who would talk to other guys behind your back because they might be more compatible. That's assuming she actually has any interest in you and would leave her bf. She may just be the type who flirts because she needs male attention to feel good about herself. Maybe you'll get lucky and this will be the one in a billion that works out despite the red flags. You seem determined to go for it so good luck.
The Way I Am Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Man I've gone around with girls that have boyfriends before, it never ends right. Those are some crazy stories, Wolf18. My boss has a really good one where in college he ended up accidentally dating a girl who was engaged. I say "accidentally" because he was so dopey at the time, he didn't realize what engagement rings meant. She eventually told him the reason she dumped her fiance for him was because he was so persistent and didn't care she was engaged. The kicker is that one day he showed up to her dorm room. Her roommate answered the door and acted surprised to see him. He asked if his girlfriend was there, and as the roommate told him "no", he noticed the picture of himself that used to be on the desk had been replaced with another guy's picture. She dumped him without even telling him about it. I wish I knew whether that was the same way she dumped the fiance.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) I don't know guys, I am starting to feel worried. the thing is I don't really think they have a really serious relationship! you see there was another girl I liked who also had a boyfriend(you can start to see why I am annoyed with girls I like having boyfriends) and I could clearly tell she was in a serious relationship cause every time I tried to flirt a lot with her she would go cold. but this girl, she actually responds more positively when I flirt with her. I don't sense any hesitation in her which I would of someone in a serious relationship. It's even possible that the guy isn't even a real boyfriend yet! I think it is very possible that they have just started dating a month or two ago! Edited November 30, 2011 by you_can_not_see_me
insertnamehere Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I think it's time to consider that the OP might just be an ass.hole. Seriously? What the kind of person looks at someone else's relationship and thinks, "I can't wait for this to implode, because I am so moving in!" Who the hell raised you that you permit yourself the right to this sort of delusional thinking? As for the "liberal college" . . . HA! Those college boys who've never been a real fight are the ones who go off the deep end the fastest, because they're unaware of the consequences of violence. Frankly, if you have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet for permission to go wreck someone else's relationship, it begs the question whether you have balls big enough to do it in the first place. But, don't sweat it. I'm sure having watched you creepily orbit her and her boyfriend waiting for your opportunity to swoop, the gal in question will swoon when you make your indubitably dashing entrance.
azsinglegal Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Tried and true: Once a cheater, always a cheater.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 So the situation is that this girl I like already has a boyfriend. she hasn't told me that she has a boyfriend, I just know because I have been searching around a little. After learning that she has a boyfriend, I decided to try to befriend her anyway cause I think she is pretty cool as a person even if I was not to have romantic relationship with her. but while I have been trying to become friends with her I sorta have also gotten the vibe that she is into me. now I know that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date me, I just want to ask you guys whether you think I should test my luck with this girl even though she has a boyfriend or maybe it's not such a good idea? I would also ask if it is common for younger girls to start dating other men even when they have boyfriends, any of the girls here decided to date another while they had a boyfriend? She's young, she's not married. A while ago, I'd say stick to your principles and don't get involved. That path however, will lead you to celibacy. So, in light of my own (lack of) experience, I say go for it and let the chips fall where they may. It's not your business whether or not she has a boyfriend, especially since she never told you so. Do what you want to do, and let her do what she wants to do. If her boyfriend doesn't like it, well that's tough toenails and not your problem. Good luck.
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