BigDumbFoot Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 What the hell was I thinking??? I'm seriously glad I found out about this place and No Contact and such. I would be infinitely worse off if I hadn't. *Respectfully Bows*
mike588 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 What the hell was I thinking??? I'm seriously glad I found out about this place and No Contact and such. I would be infinitely worse off if I hadn't. *Respectfully Bows* Glad to hear you didn't fall for it. Can you imagine being "friends" with someone you either still love or have feelings for and your just talking one day and they tell you all about how great their new relationship is going or what they did this day or that day with him/her. No friendship until your completely indifferent,, or maybe never!!
radiodarcy Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 good for you! i made the mistake of being friends with an ex for years. it actually degenerated into a friends with benefits situation in which he treated me anything like a friend! i was miserable the whole time. i wish i had known about no contact back then! but, lesson learned. when another guy dumped me a few weeks ago and offered the friendship line - - i knew better. people just offer friendship as a way too soften the blow; ease their conscience, etc. i really think when someone dumps you - - it's best to assume they don't want anything more to do with you. regardless of what they say about wanting to be friends.
hellfire241 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 but i think that if you are considering reconciling with there other person, best to do it under the guise of a friend. i mean like, that's how you started off at the beginning - friends. but if you think that you won't be able to handle the other person talking about who they're dating or banging then best NC.. cos at the end of the day, while it may be painful to hear such stuff, you still want to make things right. sorry if this goes against all that ppl are saying about NC.
olivec Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Its not impossible to be friends. However if the breakup was one sided which most times it is, then a friendship is just too hard. Trust me I know and i'll never do it again like others have already said.
Author BigDumbFoot Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Thanks for the comments guys. My ex and I were together for almost 7 years. Right when she decides that it's over she tries to be super buddy buddy with me. And, of course, like as sucker, I fell for it thinking she would see how cool I was because I didn't care about the whole 'relationship thing' anymore. Obviously I wanted her back something terrible. It was eating me up inside, thought it gave me a strange comfort knowing I could still see her. After I cut contact almost completely I felt awful and desperately looked forward to a time when we could actually be friends again. Now I know that is probably a pipe dream. I don't think it's possible for people who once had a romantic relationship together to simply start being friends, even if they were really close and got along really well like we did. It's a sad reality that I've only recently acknowledged.
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