Enjaycee Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Hey folks. It's been a while and lot has gone on and since changed in the 6-7 months since I last talked about this (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t284913/). I'm still with my girlfriend. Our 1 year anniversary was 7 days ago. We both still love each other but I had a talk with her last night that got me to thinking, and such thinking has caused me to come back onto here and follow up on this thread. Things about me have changed (or rather, I have changed some things about myself) lately. I am trying to become less of a doormat-type person and am trying to get things done my way. I think I match her a little more now in that I give my opinions on things now, and that I challenge her sometimes to make her get the things she wants from me. She's become more spontaneous and I'm still a little spontaneous but I also try to plan things out more now. I'm still expressing emotions a little more than the next guy. I believe that she is not the one changing me, but it is I who is changing myself to become a better person. I'm still a young man in college, exploring myself and trying to find out what works for me. She may think that she's still changing me, but I do not believe this. She still has trouble expressing emotions, and when I tried to talk to her about it, I found that she is still uncomfortable doing it, even to me. She's been trying to for me, but she only is able to once in a blue moon. I've discovered that I need for her to express some kind of emotions to me in order to be reassured that she loves me. This is what I want, and I'm not getting enough of it from her. She's not the mushy type like I can be, to tell me she loves me every day and that she believes in me and whatnot. I love hearing that stuff. We got to talking about it and she has told me that if I can't accept her for who she is then I should go find somebody else. She has equated dating her to dating a rock; she says she doesn't contribute enough emotionally to the relationship. It saddens me that she thinks this way about herself, as I'd like to believe otherwise. I have been given an ultimatum, and I don't particularly like either choice. If I accept the fact that she can't express emotion well without feeling weird, then I would be settling for her, and I wouldn't be fully happy. I don't want to break up with her either. My wish is that either I get over it and appreciate that she doesn't get overly emotional like most girls do, or she starts expressing more emotion towards me as time goes on. Your thoughts, folks?
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