Why Women Today are Flakier than Ever Before and How to Adapt to Dating in this Era

[spinaroonie]

The late 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology - namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating.

 

IMO all the growth in technology has had a negative effect on dating for men. Simply, women today have more options and more distractions literally at their fingertips than ever before. They get their egos stroked constantly on Facebook. They have men constantly blowing up their smartphones texting them out. They get hounded with hundreds of messages from men on online dating sites. They’re getting constant attention and validation and being pulled in all directions.

 

There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something. You’d call her home and she’d pick up, you’d have an actual phone conversation, you’d set up a date and she’d actually show up. It sounds like something from the Jurassic period but the older men here will attest to this.

 

Now it’s 2011. How many threads have we read here in which a man seemingly has a great interaction with a woman in a club and gets the number, only to have the woman screen out his call or ignore his texts a few days later? “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff.

 

It’s funny to read men in here still crowing about getting numbers. Fellas, numbers means nothing. How many of those numbers are translating to dates?

 

Women today give out their number like candy on Halloween. Women will give out their number to get rid of you. Women will give out their number just to get their egos validated from constant texts. Women will give out their number even when they have no intention of seeing you again.

 

Now men will come on here and say that it’s all a numbers dating – that you need to talk to 100 women and get 20 numbers, play these little text datings, and maybe get 3 dates out of it.

 

Who has time for all that? I have other demands on my time – I work, I study, I work out, I volunteer, I have hobbies, and spend time with family and friends. Far better to invest in one quality interaction with one quality woman that I’ll be assured of eventually dating.

 

Dating 1.0 is dead. It’s time for Dating 2.0 – dating in the smartphone era.

 

Rule #1 for Dating 2.0: Numbers from bars and clubs mean nothing. 90% of the numbers you get from bars & clubs will flake. PUSH FOR THE PULL.

[Fondue]

I have stopped taking numbers. I never ask for one.

 

If the girl wants to get with you, she will ask for your number. Otherwise, she simply isn't interested enough. This is exactly the way I see it now.

 

If you work things this way, you won't set yourself up for disappointment.

[El Brujo]

If you're really serious, become a geneticist and perfect the process of human cloning.

 

Then all the non-clone women can do their thing while the clone women satisfy us.

[Lowib]

eh just the way it is brother. Were all to blame, we give women all the attention. But, hey they think the same way so go better yourself and join the game. If a girl is truly interested it will be when you can be alone and confident with yourself. She won't care about the other guys, and trust me it's all about you, so don't worry about it.

[laotzu]

I had sex with two different girls last week. A divorcing co-worker essentially propositioned me last week, and continues to pursue me.

 

Honestly, I'm not even that attractive - I have overly large lips, an imperfect hairline, and I think my head makes me look like an ape. But I'm confident, funny, well-read, workout numerous times a week, and dress decently.

 

Actually, I can sum it up even more: I'm not desperate. I'll go four months without getting laid, and still not be that desperate. Don't be ****ing desperate, and don't think that just because a girl decides it's okay to give you her number, that necessitates that she needs to call you or go out on a date with you.

 

People have free will; they can change their minds.

[fishtaco]

Why ask why? I'm not sure if technology is to blame, but it is what it is. Predictability is more important than "why". If you see a type of behavior over and over again, then:

 

1) Expect it, prepare for it, have an answer for it.

2) You have the option of engaging in that same exact behavior when it suits your purpose.

 

If you can make women ask for your number like Fondue, go for it. We all should go out and experiment with what we can get away with but still have reasonable amount of success.

 

Me, I will ask for their numbers, but I don't buy women drinks, for example.

 

But I know getting a number doesn't mean anything, so I will try to get as many numbers as I can, because I don't take them seriously, and I don't expect them to take me seriously. Like it or not, it's all a game, and this is how it's being played out.

 

I believe in changing myself to fit the evolving environment. I believe in finding ways to succeed under the given system. I don't believe in changing the world to fit my preference. Tell women to stop being flaky? Perhaps even go out of your way to be a dating vigilante and punish the poorly behaved? Complete waste of time and effort, plus women will dislike you. Just let them be, and you do what you have to do.

[Wolf18]

Women these days just have too many damn options.

 

 

The Facebook thing is enraging too. Some girl who I had my eye on , that is kind of a social misfit and doesnt have many friends, had like 5 guys telling her the most ridiculous things. "Wow you are amazing, so beautiful, just perfect looking", their Ego's get huge and suddenly a girl who I had a chance with says to herself "hmm, I can do better!". None of these guys were dating or banging her, do they think this is really going to make her like them? No, all it does is make her unattainable for all of us.

 

Back even in Middle School, I remember how if a so-so looking girl wanted attention and constant validation, she would begrudgingly have to give out some handjobs at the very least Now with facebook she has access to 10's of millions of manginas who think kissing woman ass is going to get them somewhere.

 

My guess is as good as anyone elses, but if you're a man in these rough times you just have to throw the net out and see what you can catch. I share your exact sentiment that it seems to feel like a waste of time to chat up 100 women, text 20 of them and see which one is down for a date, but those are just the new rules.

[dasein]

OP IMO all the distraction doesn't really factor that much into how they form attraction, no matter how many schmos are sending supplicating texts to her, she will still fall for the guy who transcends it all and knows how to push her buttons. The mechanic is still the same, ask out, find a yes, and limit almost all your contact with dating prospects to that. The fact that you aren't some droidboy who is up her butt constantly in 140 character chunks just makes you more mysterious.

[Wolf18]

An interesting question would be, how do we use these new technologies for tactical male advantage? Do we have to start "negging" women on facebook to counter balance the yes-[wo]men? Slap the salami over chatroulette?

[El Brujo]

An interesting question would be, how do we use these new technologies for tactical male advantage?

 

I already said how. Create the first human clones.

 

A good ratio would be 3 clone women for every 2 men... clones could be engineered to be beautiful, sterile, and extremely horny.

 

Do we have to start "negging" women on facebook to counter balance the yes-[wo]men? Slap the salami over chatroulette?

 

A general strike would do the trick.

 

No makee nice, den no jelly roll an no bebe.

[Feelsgoodman]

I have stopped taking numbers. I never ask for one.

 

If the girl wants to get with you, she will ask for your number. Otherwise, she simply isn't interested enough. This is exactly the way I see it now.

Good point. At one time, I had so many numbers in my phone, I had to arrange them as Jane 1, Jane 2, Jane 3, etc. (as I obviously did not know the last name of every girl I met). Nowadays, I just give them my number and tell them to call me. If they don't, it just means they aren't that keen.

[Feelsgoodman]

An interesting question would be, how do we use these new technologies for tactical male advantage? Do we have to start "negging" women on facebook to counter balance the yes-[wo]men? Slap the salami over chatroulette?

The best "strategy" is to just to ignore them. Don't comment on their pictures, don't "like" their statuses...heck, don't even add them of facebook in the first place.

[Lil1]

 

There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something.

 

Now it’s 2011... “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff. :lmao:

 

Fellas, numbers means nothing. How many of those numbers are translating to dates? ...you need to talk to 100 women and get 20 numbers, play these little text datings, and maybe get 3 dates out of it.

 

(ridiculous I know!... so sad...)

Who has time for all that? (NOT ME! LOL!) I have other demands on my time – I work, I study, I work out, I volunteer, I have hobbies, and spend time with family and friends. Far better to invest in one quality interaction with one quality woman that I’ll be assured of eventually dating.

 

Dating 1.0 is dead. It’s time for Dating 2.0 – dating in the smartphone era.

 

Rule #1 for Dating 2.0: Numbers from bars and clubs mean nothing. 90% of the numbers you get from bars & clubs will flake. PUSH FOR THE PULL.

 

 

Spinaroonie... hello! First time I've ever seen you here & I very much dig this post!

I don't know where we as a society are heading in this '2.0 dating era' lol! But I'm right there with you buddy! I really don't understand 'text lingo'... I mean i do in some ways..., but it def. doesn't translate into anything substantial. Whatever happened to the days when people actually SPOKE to each other on the phone and set up dates?! Honestly... the last time a male ever called me to set up a date (no text or other 'internet avenues') was when I was in GRADE SCHOOL!!! How sad is THAT?!... I remember how EXCITING it was to get a call and be asked out on a date! ... Now it's all just meaningless texts on my phone. SIGH!

 

I agree with you that #s from bars & clubs mean absolutely Sh*t! ... I stopped giving my number out in clubs/bars!

[dasein]

An interesting question would be, how do we use these new technologies for tactical male advantage?

 

I think there's an IPhone app for sending pheromone spraybursts through their bluetooth. Apparently the feral hog/alpha baboon blend is a top seller.

[irc333]

I have stopped taking numbers. I never ask for one.

 

If the girl wants to get with you, she will ask for your number. Otherwise, she simply isn't interested enough. This is exactly the way I see it now.

 

If you work things this way, you won't set yourself up for disappointment.

 

 

If you do it this way, you'd never get a date.

[MaxNoob]

Here's a girl that was using OLD just to get endless free meals; she'd dump the guy after 5 dates, then click on the next sucker in her inbox:

http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-how-she-made-1200-a-month-using-matchcom-2011-11

 

 

I remember when I asked out the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life. She was so flattered because I was the only one who wasn't too chicken to ask her out; all she ever got was speechless blank stares from guys. But now someone like that can get constant validation from her 500 Facebook friends that are still too chicken to ask her out in person, but will drool over her online.

[oaks]

IMO all the growth in technology has had a negative effect on dating for men. Simply, women people today have more options and more distractions literally at their fingertips than ever before.

 

I think I've fixed that for you. At least, I agree with how I've corrected it.

[Woggle]

Here's a girl that was using OLD just to get endless free meals; she'd dump the guy after 5 dates, then click on the next sucker in her inbox:

http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-how-she-made-1200-a-month-using-matchcom-2011-11

 

 

I remember when I asked out the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life. She was so flattered because I was the only one who wasn't too chicken to ask her out; all she ever got was speechless blank stares from guys. But now someone like that can get constant validation from her 500 Facebook friends that are still too chicken to ask her out in person, but will drool over her online.

 

 

This kind of stuff is why men are such cheap bastards on dates these days. Women want men to make more effort then they need to come out against stuff like this.

[dasein]

Here's a girl that was using OLD just to get endless free meals; she'd dump the guy after 5 dates, then click on the next sucker in her inbox:

http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-how-she-made-1200-a-month-using-matchcom-2011-11

 

Let's try a little social experiment and see exactly how much media exposure that story gets. It's only a day old and is the exact kind of thing mass outlets love. If it were a guy who slept with 30 women in 30 dates, the story would be viral and on ALL the major media outlets by now. Surely the treatment of this story will be similar? No?