indecisive1 Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 I am 31, and recently got out of a 6year relationship with a man who is 12 years older than me, and I havent dated in many years because I have been in long term relationships for a long time. since I broke up with my last bf, I have been flirting with a handsome guy who is 4 years younger than me; and we have hooked up twice. I am not in this for anything serious, and neither is he, as he recently got out of a longterm relationship too. All our flirtations have been very superficial and sexy. And last night, we were fun, sexy texting, when he asked me "am i your boy toy?" I hate that term, and so I replied, "no. I respect you more than that. But I will play whenever you want to" he didnt respond, and an hour went by, and so like an idiot, I sent another reply that said "that was a loaded question...can we go back to talking sexy" and still no response.... I'm afraid he took this as a sign of 'i want more than sex'.... i just want to let him know I don't want anything serious, is there anything I can say or do that will reverse this, or should i just wait it out and see what he does? I am probably going to run into him this evening, so I appreciate any advice! Thank you.
Ariadne Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Hey, Sounds like the mood got ruined. Seems like for him to be your "boy toy" was a turn on, something he may have been fantasizing about. But since you took him seriously and told him it was a loaded question he lost the sexy vibe. It's ok, you'll work it out.
stillafool Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 4 years younger is hardly a "boy toy". He probably likes you a lot. Give it time and leave the ball in his court for now. Don't be so fast to say you don't want anything serious because usually the person who says that first is the one who falls in love first.
ShannonMI Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 I am 31, and recently got out of a 6year relationship with a man who is 12 years older than me, and I havent dated in many years because I have been in long term relationships for a long time. since I broke up with my last bf, I have been flirting with a handsome guy who is 4 years younger than me; and we have hooked up twice. I am not in this for anything serious, and neither is he, as he recently got out of a longterm relationship too. All our flirtations have been very superficial and sexy. And last night, we were fun, sexy texting, when he asked me "am i your boy toy?" I hate that term, and so I replied, "no. I respect you more than that. But I will play whenever you want to" he didnt respond, and an hour went by, and so like an idiot, I sent another reply that said "that was a loaded question...can we go back to talking sexy" and still no response.... I'm afraid he took this as a sign of 'i want more than sex'.... i just want to let him know I don't want anything serious, is there anything I can say or do that will reverse this, or should i just wait it out and see what he does? I am probably going to run into him this evening, so I appreciate any advice! Thank you. 4 years younger and he thinks he's a "boy toy"? Hahahahaha that's funny. I'm 32 and get hit on my guys that are 22 and 23. They are what I would consider boy toys if I were to date them. I don't though. And your response wasn't bad at all. If he took offense there's something wrong with him. You respect him. What man doesn't want to be respected? I'd wait to see if he contacts you. You've already tried to fix what you said even though what you said wasn't a big deal at all. Let him make the next move.
Author indecisive1 Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Thank you all for replying. I really appreciate your advice, and I took it. I did not call or text him; I did see him as I was walking to the same establishment tonight and joked with him that i prefered a more classy title than "boy toy" and he said he liked it. We flirted some more tonight, and talked; it felt pretty normal again. I didnt bring up the texts other than that...will save for another time/place. Then I left, and I am going to still leave it in his hands now as you all have advised. Thank you so much for your time in your responses! xoxoxo
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