JudgingKarma Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 hi all,,with reference to my post on "i need closure but how do i get it"..i have had a tough day so far...i woke up with a lot of anger in my head,i cant seem to shake this feeling of deep seeded anger towards my ex for what she did...i am an extremely calm person by nature but i snapped at 2 of my staff today which was horrible on my part..does any have advice on how to deal with it or had a similar feelings...
lolita jade Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Tomorrow you will feel sad, the next day good, the next day angry. etc etc etc. Give it time. It is your brain's way of working it all out and accepting it.
stunned8165 Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 hi all,,with reference to my post on "i need closure but how do i get it"..i have had a tough day so far...i woke up with a lot of anger in my head,i cant seem to shake this feeling of deep seeded anger towards my ex for what she did...i am an extremely calm person by nature but i snapped at 2 of my staff today which was horrible on my part..does any have advice on how to deal with it or had a similar feelings... I'm still dealing with anger of what happened to me (my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/) I deal with it everyday and find myself short of patients. I have even snapped at employees too. But I guess it's normal. But today I woke up angry, anxious and all because I was having night mares last night. I saw her again yesterday on my way home. And it hurst to think that her and her kids are so close yet so far. But I guess we just have to ride the storm out. Stay strict NC. As hard as it is it must be done. Believe me. I want to hear those kids voices and see their little faces so bad. But i have to try and turn this around for my sake by saying " she knows we saw each other and probably expects me to reach out some how, but it isn't happening".. Hang in there. We will get past this. Without a doubt.
Chi townD Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Go to the Gym or get a gym membership. Believe me, pushing weight or running your butt off is a good way to get out those angry's and frustrations. Plus, helps you get in great shape. Then, you can send your Ex a thank you card for helping you get a body like one of the guys out of the 300 movie!
KathyM Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Don't take your anger out on people that are not the cause of it. They don't deserve that. Exercise does do wonders in relieving the tension caused from negative emotions. You could also try relaxation exercises to help you calm down when you feel like you're ready to lash out at someone. Look up relaxation exercises online and you will get some good ideas on what you could do. Positive self talk also helps, such as telling yourself, when you are angry, positive affirmations, such as "I'm in control of my emotions", "I can get through just about anything", etc.
melenkurion Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 The anger is pretty much inevitable. It's getting a lot less for me, but occasionally I still get it even now (over a year later). Exercise helps a lot with this. It's pretty much the best way of dealing with it. In crude terms, I suppose the anger creates an adrenaline surge. Adrenaline is the "fight or flight" hormone. Fighting isn't an option, so exercise is a substitute for flight....
melenkurion Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Oh, and I find that pictures of kittens help me That might not work for everyone!
Berlington Bob Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I'm also having issues with anger lately. It's been almost a month now for me and I seem to be getting more and more angry about what she did and how she betrayed me. Also she keeps texting me telling me she misses my dog as if I'm going to care that she's sad and comfort her... Staying NC is getting tough for me but now instead of wanting to tell her I miss her I want to tell her what a miserable excuse for a human being she is. I run every day for about 30-45 minutes and that seems to help but I'm still in some sort of negative mood for about half the day. When I find I am getting more and more angry I call my breakup buddy who is my cousin. Just talking to a good friend calms my mind because it is something I did before I even met the ex and my mind seems to be able to relate to that. Try to picture your negative thoughts as water balloons sitting on a platform on your head. Then mentally pop them one by one letting the water just fall off the platform until there are none left. Seems odd but it works for me.
radiodarcy Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 working out - - as others have suggested - - is a good way to get rid of pent of anger and frustration. when i went through my angry period i would take long drives and blast my music as loud as possible. some may consider that wasting gas. but it worked well for me. if you have the money to spare - - retail therapy can help too. and of course - - you can always come here on loveshack to vent i found the "post here instead of contacting your ex" thread to be a good place to release all those angry thoughts.
TheMagician Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Taking out your anger on employees or co-workers is usually a bad idea; hopefully you're able to apologize to them later. Going to a gym or at least for a good brisk walk can do wonders. Depending on how angry you're feeling, consider making an appointment with a professional counselor or face-to-face support group. Definitely don't punch a wall. I tried that and the wall won. Best of luck!
Recommended Posts