bohica Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 By nature I am one who feeds off the energy and enthusiasm of my partner. Lately, and after a great year things seems to have cooled down so quickly and in dramatic fashion with her. With out getting into detail there have been a lot of behavioral changes particularly in the area of frequency of communication, enthusiasm, and nuances in language. At times she even seems less interested in what I have to say when she was once was so engaging. We both have our share of problems at the moment and the relationship has been difficult. She has two ex's, and a 10yr old boy (who doesn't approve) and a strict middle eastern (who also don't approve) family. Our time together can be very limited and we exist for the most part in the shadows. I have personal issues I have been dealing with for the past year and am lacking the confidence I need and know I can have. I have spoken to her about it. I've asked her up front and have discussed things with her. I have even asked if she has been distracted by another person. She states that everything is fine and that she has just been busy and that it's all just natural. Like I said, by nature I am one who feeds off the energy and enthusiasm of my partner. Its hard to give someone the kind of attention and love your use to giving if you don't get the same in return. I feel a little unappreciated and a little less significant these days. Although she tells me she loves me I don't think shes feels the same as she once did I can't help but thinking she needs her space right now but I am not sure if i am right or wrong and if correct not sure how to do it. Should I listen to my instincts? Should I back off with out saying anything or tell her? Purhaps I need my space as well. Whats your take ?
phineas Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 2 ex's, 10 yr old boy, strict family that doesn't approve = does not compute. For starters the 10yr old boy shows her families past disapproval didn't matter to her so why should it matter now? 2 ex's? are they both the father of the 10yr old? Why 2? Off-hand, this distance she is showing you leads me to suspect one of these ex's isn't all that "ex" anymore.
Author bohica Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 She had her son during her first marriage. The marriage was a mistake from the start and it took her a long time to walk away. With out delving deep into the psychology of it her second marriage was pretty much the same. As far as the son goes..I can see how hes a little sensitive and over protective of his mother and she can be towards his feelings and his development. I think it comes down to that he is not ready for his mom to move on and probably feels threatened by any other male. Not much in life is certain other then uncertainty itself but the odds are 99.5% that shes not going back to either of her ex's. I spoke to her today and she said nothing has changed and that she simply just needs her space once in a while. That she just needs to turn everything off every so often and it doesn't mean she isn't thinking about me or doesn't love me. I think I need to respect that and see what happens. I think I can trust that if something is wrong she will tell me.
Recommended Posts