Trimmer Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Actually that's where you're wrong Wogs.....All Women Are Like Her. They are master manipulators and masters at giving the shaft. and of course they have help in the courts nowdays with divorces favoring the women. Wow, is this reverse psychology? Trying to "out-Woggle" Woggle? What do you think of that, Woggle? He's talking about your wife here, among "All Women" (capitalized, even...) Have you met your miogynist match? (That's a lot of alliteration...)
Author Woggle Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 What he is doing is very wrong as well of course but people are implying that his wife is some innocent victim who is being led astray by him. They are both scum.
carhill Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Wogs, I'll invite you to stay focused on your friend. The man is your friend. Your duty is to yourself and to the friendship with him. He is a grown, mature man making choices. It's up to you to decide if those choices, in totality, respect the relationship with you and your ethics, morals and sense of fairness. IMO, the woman is completely irrelevant to that equation. I wish you well in your decision.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Today I found out from a mutual friend of ours that my friend who is seeing a married woman is planning on giving her a black eye so she can blame her husband for it and get a nice big settlement in the divorce. I know he is my friend but no way in hell am I letting an innocent man get railroaded like this. Is there anything I can do about this? Aside from any questions of morality, you have a legal obligation to inform the police that the people in question are about to commit a crime. Otherwise, you would technically be an accessory to their fraud.
Cracker Jack Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 What he is doing is very wrong as well of course but people are implying that his wife is some innocent victim who is being led astray by him. They are both scum. Are we reading the same topic?
RiverRunning Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Are we reading the same topic? I think we're not, Cracker Jack. I've read through the entire read and I see no instance where anyone is saying that she's blameless, or a victim, or anything of the like. The general consensus does seem to be, "Wow, they're both crazy," and, "You're only his friend, so you need to dump him as a friend." The issue is that Wogs is almost entirely focused on the woman as a master manipulator who has convinced this guy to go along with this plan. Maybe she initiated and he just went along with it. Maybe he initiated and she went along with it. In any case, they're both clearly co-conspirators and they both share the blame if anything results from their scheming. The guy has free agency - he's going along with this. He, too, is wrong. But the difference is that you apparently don't really know the woman, and he's your friend. So it's time to approach him. Let him know that you don't agree with his actions and because of them, you will have to distance yourself from him. I'd advise against tape-recording him - depending on the laws in your state, it may be illegal to tape-record without his knowledge (and of course he wouldn't admit to his plan knowingly). I'd also let him know that you intend to speak to the husband about it. Then go to hubby and let him know about the plan. Calling the police, especially over something to which there is no tangible proof, is likely just to backfire and not work unless something has already happened. I think that warning the husband first, and then going to the police after it happens, is best.
Author Woggle Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 He is very wrong but he has always been this insecure guy who got crapped on by women. Even GF he has ever had has cheated on him and here comes a woman who tells him what a great man he is and he is eating it up. It was just supposed to be a fling for him but it has turned into this.
InJest Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Tell the husband, then tell your friend you told husband.
Trimmer Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 (edited) What he is doing is very wrong as well of course but people are implying that his wife is some innocent victim who is being led astray by him. No, the vast majority of posters are putting it equally on both of them. That is, the majority except for you... On one hand, you have said They are both scum. Which pretty much sounds like lip service, because you then go on to do exactly what you are saying others are doing: "implying that he is some innocent victim who is being led astray": He is very wrong but he has always been this insecure guy who got crapped on by women. Even GF he has ever had has cheated on him and here comes a woman who tells him what a great man he is and he is eating it up. It was just supposed to be a fling for him but it has turned into this. You should just have stopped after the first 4 words. There is no excuse, for either of them, for this plan. No "but". This isn't one of your "just another example of a guy being reamed by a woman" or anything like that. Just plain wrong on every human level, irrespective of gender issues, and frankly, irrespective of whether he's a "friend" or whether you owe him some debt of gender loyalty. Edited November 29, 2011 by Trimmer
blueskyday Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Tell your friend you won't let him do something so stupid. You are his reality check. What is so very wrong with him that he would even consider doing that? Since he told you they were going to do it, I would act on that information as if it were going to happen. Inform the husband by phone and by email (for proof). Ask him to call you if the wife shows up with a black eye. Then he can have the police contact you. He can also contact the police before hand if he wants to. It's up to him since the crime would be against him. Then inform your friend that your values no longer line up and you can't enable this kind of sick behavior. End of story. You don't need him as a friend. For all you know, he could pin something equally disgusting on you some day. I have had to cut off friendships with women who were cheating on their husbands for the same reason of clashing values and my unwillingness to enable that kind of abuse against the husband. I simply won't be a part of anyone's dysfunction. Neither should you. You are better than that. It sounds like your friend may need to lose your friendship in order to see what's on the line here besides his very soul.
dasein Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Would consider doing nothing until your knowledge of this is greater than hearsay. There is a reason such is not admissible in court. In your shoes, I'd confront your friend and ask him if it's true. He may lie, but that in itself may be enough to get them to abandon the scheme. And disagree with the 50/50 crowd, though woggle's friend is considering truly despicable and criminal behavior, what the woman is considering is much worse, including fraud, conspiracy, slander, and perjury. The guy is just a conspirator to fraud. She is contemplating lying about the character and behavior of someone in court, which is arguably the worst nonviolent crime there is. You don't need this kind of person in your life, as they can drag you into the bucket with them if you aren't careful. If he's cool with this, imagine the possible things you have no idea about. You just got lucky and found this one out.
donnamaybe Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Tip off the cops beforehand (or better yet, HIS divorce lawyer) because if it does come to fruition, it will make a much more plausible story than to come along afterward and tell it.
Nexus One Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 I have decided to do something about it so how should I do it? The police tend to have a phone number for anonymous tips. I don't know what the number is for your particular area, but try to find out and call them anonymously. They'll probably send by a unit to have a chat with the woman and your friend and that will probably be the end of their plan. When you call make sure to ask the police to notify the potential victim of the plan, as he shouldn't be kept in the dark about it.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Would consider doing nothing until your knowledge of this is greater than hearsay. There is a reason such is not admissible in court. It's not hearsay if Woggle was personally informed of the plot by one of the conspirators. If you really want to do the right thing, call the husband's lawyer, tell him what you know and also tell him that you are prepared to swear an affidavit attesting to your knowledge. Your affidavit can be used against the wife even if they don't carry out their plan.
carhill Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 With reference to this: 'It's not hearsay if Woggle was personally informed of the plot by one of the conspirators. ' The OP shares in the OP: 'Today I found out from a mutual friend of ours that my friend who is seeing a married woman is planning on giving her a black eye so she can blame her husband for it and get a nice big settlement in the divorce.' OP, can you clarify? Does this remain the source or have you subsequently confirmed with the friend? I perhaps missed something in my reading.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Good point, carhill, I didn't read the OP carefully enough. Is it possible that the mutual acquaintance is, how shall I put it, full of sh*t? Or has his own agenda? Perhaps it would be wise to confirm the veracity of the mutual acquaintance's story before taking any actions.
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