I Think I Hate Women

[Athena]

OMG this thread, with it's hate for women heading, is attracting fellow narcissistic men...

 

I DO see the 'tactics' employed by narcissistic men, in fact my husband found me a captive audience when he explained, step by step, how he got into womens' panties, being a married man and all.... (I've since gone back to univ. and got a degree in Psychology, thanks to him).

 

I feel a little nauseous reading several posts on this thread that are JUST like my husband... OMG so what are the chances of my ever finding a normal guy. Obviously one immediate red flag is when a man is CHARMING -- years ago I read something which warned of charming men -- the author said not to look at the guy as having some wonderful trait, but instead to see it as the man seeking to Charm (i.e. to trick, to cast a spell, to manipulate your emotions) you.

 

You guys -- seriously -- you KNOW you have a black heart. You still are driven by a need bigger than yourselves, to seek and ingest the very qualities you are lacking and wish you had in yourselves... but doing so is effectively murdering the good soul you are vampiring.

 

Please re-consider.

 

Why not just f**k around with women who only want meaningless sex? You KNOW you are just plain incapable of maintaining anything more than a facade of a relationship, so you should just keep your distance from the Good and the Beautiful and stick with your peers.

 

Sorry, but I've had enough of these bs-ing mofo's who walk around hating women and yet targeting and deceiving the women, from their hatred for their (the men's) OWN deficits.

 

What?! You think you're 'better' than the common garden variety con man in jail? Nope, you are not. You are more like the murderers, who take.

 

Just stay the heck away from the normal loving women. Okay? Keep your deceptions, your hatred, your crimes, and your theft to yourselves. Keep your defects away from humanity.

 

WTF

Edited November 30, 2011 by Athena

[Steadfast]

Just stay the heck away from the normal loving women. Okay? Keep your deceptions, your hatred, your crimes, and your theft to yourselves. Keep your defects away from humanity.WTF

 

Daaang girl...why don't you tell us how you really feel? =)

 

I've read your last few posts and your observations are incredibly insightful. I had a long, lengthy response to this topic and erased it. The world is not an easy place to navigate, and especially bad when dealing with the consequences of wiping your feet all over people's lives.

 

Easier to dish out that it is to eat.

 

Please hang in there Athena, and don't allow bitterness to spoil the good you have to give. Like the loving women you defend, there are shell-shocked men wandering around, wondering the same thing. It starts with us; each of us, as individuates to make a difference.

[drifter777]

I'm not sure defending woman-kind or attacking your stated belief's are really of any value to you, OP. It's all there in the title of your thread, however you probably can remove the word "think" and be honest with yourself that you really do hate women.

 

I am not a mental-health professional, but I can have an opinion and it is that this is not a behavioral or moral issue but rather a psychological condition. Scratch "hate" and you find "hurt". Scratch "anger" and you find "fear". The promiscuity you engage in and your utter contempt for the females you are able to charm into bed seem misogynistic and you probably won't be able to change your view's without the help of a counselor.

 

If truly want to change your view of women, find love, and start a family then you need to get yourself in to counseling and understand where all of this hatred is coming from.

[MusicMan1234]

I think I know why.

You sound EXACTLY like my husband, both in your description of your problem and thinking in your first post, and in this post I quoted.

 

My husband is narcissistic... look it up: "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" or "NPD".

 

Do yourself a favor and ONLY hook up with women who KNOW it's 'just' a hook up and you have no ability to connect.

 

And don't ever get married (because you will destroy a good woman -- yeah, I KNOW you would pick a GOOD woman, because narcissistic men do this).

 

Narcissistic individuals cannot 'do' relationships. They leave a wake of destruction behind them.

 

It's not fair to a normal woman to have her heart broken because you would have a desire to be married. Narcissists cannot be faithful (which, btw makes you suspect ALL others of being like yourself). Narcissists have an eternal hunger inside themselves (to fill the hole) and they seek to consume via sex/ being admired/ PRETENDING to be like other people all around them. But they know they are not normal.

 

Everything emotional is studied... the only emotion they can truly feel is anger (sometimes sadness, for themselves, only, for their own pitiful situation).

 

Check out "Sociopath" too while you're researching "narcissist".

 

Good luck, strive to be a good man -- one day you'll spot her, but stay away from the genuine, strong, kind, loving, affectionate, beautiful, happy, strong girl (like I was) and let them marry a regular guy.

Thank you.

 

A few things...

First off, I have achieved my post-graduate diploma of psychology and sociology. Yes, I know what a narcissist is. No, i'm not a narcissist. And i'm not a sociopath either. I'm sure I would feel bad if I ran out of the house and punched some old man in a wheelchair as opposed to a sociopath who can go on a shooting spree and feel nothing. At most I suspect I may have a little Aspegers in me, but nothing like you're suggesting.

 

Secondly, i've never cheated on someone and I KNOW I never will, because it goes against my own moral code. Cheaters are usually broken people, but I am not broken but strong. Please refrain from lumping me in with them.

 

And thirdly, your post states that I should not pursue a loving connection because i'm not a 'regular guy', even though this is no such thing. So by your logic everyone who is not regular should not pursue love. So that includes people with Cerebral Palsy and Down Syndrome right? Or people who have lost limbs in accident, or who may be bi-polar, or who may have depression? None of these people deserve love, right?

 

Please think about what you say before you say it, this isn't 'The View'.

[whichwayisup]

Athena, this guy isn't a Narcissist, just from how he comes off and presents himself, expresses himself. N's seem to have a certain energy about them, even online! He's far from an N.

 

He has issues, like everybody else in the world, and needs help, needs encouragement so he can find the strength to face his past, deal with his hurts and do counselling.

[Athena]

Secondly, i've never cheated on someone and I KNOW I never will, because it goes against my own moral code. Cheaters are usually broken people, but I am not broken but strong.

 

Do you find someone who hates women yet seeks to have sexual relations with them (not for the supposed Love-Making aspect, but the degrading/use them- up- and- treat- them- like -whores act of hatred) stronger that a cheater? Do you find a hater/user/abuser a person with a good solid moral code?

 

Something is not right with this picture.

 

If you hate women so much, stay away from them. Okay, so you are not murdering them like some other women-haters, but you are trying your hardest to hurt them. Right?

 

I hate to say this, but just because we have post grad degrees in psychology does not mean we 'know' what narcissistic personality disorder entails.... I'm advising you to look it up.

That deadening of emotion you have? That hatred of women? That use of sexing to degrade them but to uplift you? That arrogance of higher education/ knowledge / 'good' moral code of priding oneself of not being a Cheater? All that easily falls under NPD.

 

There's more you said that I have heard my own husband say. And I'm not the one who diagnosed him with NPD - -the marriage counselor did, and she hates labeling people, but had to admit he fell within the diagnosis.

 

He too, kicks and fights at being 'labeled' narcissist -- will even point to the ONE thing he thinks 'proves' he is not, -- the fact that he does NOT 'love himself' -- that in fact, he despises himself... and guess what? THAT IS one of the symptoms! Deep down, despite his arrogance and his viewpoint that he is above the Rules (rules are for OTHER people, not for HIM, ya know -- even rules of society and marriage, and not deceiving people, type of stuff), and that he has certain gifts and talents better than average... deep down he hates himself, thinks he's worthless.

Sounds similar, don't you think?

 

You don't have to research it if you don't want to. I'm just saying, I've heard the same exact phrases out of my husband's mouth... the same thinking, the same behavior... (oh yeah, I just remembered, the N doesn't want to be like everyone else).

 

If its of no help to you, then feel free to ignore it. But you are still going to go on hating women and manipulating them and using them. And you're still not going to feel fulfilled.

If you ignore the signs and symptoms, how will you find the diagnosis?

 

If you do not think you display ANY N traits AT ALL, then, please tell -- WHAT do you think is going on with you? Why are you not happy and content and at peace with yourself?

[Athena]

Why the urge to hurt (and destroy) women? Is that really 'regular' behavior?

[Athena]

Athena, this guy isn't a Narcissist, just from how he comes off and presents himself, expresses himself. N's seem to have a certain energy about them, even online! He's far from an N.

 

He has issues, like everybody else in the world, and needs help, needs encouragement so he can find the strength to face his past, deal with his hurts and do counselling.

 

Okay, so noted.

[Woggle]

I don't think he is a narcissist. After seeing the way some women thought certainly not all act it is really hard for a man to go back to blind trust in the opposite sex. What has been seen can't be unseen.

 

You are not a guy so you don't see it from his point of view. Not trying to insult you but it is one of those things where you have to experience it to fully get it. He is like many men who look at recent trends and wonder what is the point in even trying to make a relationship work? Why gamble on something as fragile and shaky as modern male/female relationships?

 

I am sure he would give anything to not feel this way and be proven wrong.

[norajane]

I don't think he is a narcissist. After seeing the way some women thought certainly not all act it is really hard for a man to go back to blind trust in the opposite sex. What has been seen can't be unseen.

 

You are not a guy so you don't see it from his point of view. Not trying to insult you but it is one of those things where you have to experience it to fully get it. He is like many men who look at recent trends and wonder what is the point in even trying to make a relationship work? Why gamble on something as fragile and shaky as modern male/female relationships?

 

I am sure he would give anything to not feel this way and be proven wrong.

 

Then why was he so intent on luring married women into his bed?

 

He's so focused on the women's behavior that he now says he hates them. Why isn't he giving thought to his own behavior? What is he bringing into his life, deliberately? Why? Instead of getting angry at what women are doing, why isn't he angry at himself for how he is ruining his own life? Why does he choose to spend his time getting women to cheat with him?

[Athena]

I don't think he is a narcissist. After seeing the way some women thought certainly not all act it is really hard for a man to go back to blind trust in the opposite sex. What has been seen can't be unseen.

 

You are not a guy so you don't see it from his point of view. Not trying to insult you but it is one of those things where you have to experience it to fully get it. He is like many men who look at recent trends and wonder what is the point in even trying to make a relationship work? Why gamble on something as fragile and shaky as modern male/female relationships?

 

I am sure he would give anything to not feel this way and be proven wrong.

 

Okay.

But, isn't he part of the problem if he is actively seeking married women to sleep with, to be doing this to the husbands?

Which man would like to know this guy is targeting THEIR special wife, just to get his hatred out on them? Hatred is a very negative trait which hurts everyone indiscriminately.

 

Also, doesn't like beget like? You know that ole Attraction theory?

 

I don't know... I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, however, he also needs to see he is part of the very problem he purports to hate! He is SUPPORTING cheating (though he proudly says HE is not the cheater -- technicalities! He's part of the cheating statistics because he is sleeping with married women).

[frozensprouts]

musicman

(hope i have your user name right)...

 

you say you may have ceratin characteristics of aspbergers syndrome. I can totally relate. My daughter has aspbergers, and her psychologist told me i have certain traits of it as well.

 

One of them is the inability to "read" people. I have zero understanding of people facial expressions, body language, etc... This leads me to either totally believe everything they tell me, or not trust them at all because i simply can't tell if they are truthful or not. I have learned a bit about how to read people, but have zero understanding of the nuances that let me know their true intentions. It's almost like ?I have been transported to a foreign country where I don't understand the language... I may learn the literal meaning of their words, but I may very well nevr learn all the nuances, expressions, getsures and non verbal cues.When I was younger, i trusted everyone and took what they said at face value. After I got burned too many times, I trusted no one and assumed everyone would just hurt me or take advantage of me, and i wouldn't know they were lying. I finally realized I had to "open the door" even if it was just a crack and let someone else in, as it was lonesome in there all by myself.

 

Also, ( and I really see this in my daughter and my son who also has an ASD) I tend to see things in terms of "black or white" or "right or wrong". I'm trying to overcome that, but it's still there. Maybe that's not such a bad thing sometimes...i won't cheat, as to me that is wrong and nothing chnages that... it's just not in me to cheat ( mind you, I do see that someone who cheats can change)

 

The good thing though, is that if you are anything like me, once you find someone who has earned your trust and loyalty, you might find that you are the most loyal and devoted person they will ever know. You might just be the kind to "move mountains" for them and you will love them with your whole being. Don't give up... you may find the person who will treat you welland who will really derserves your love, and when they get it, they will be a very lucky woman indeed.

 

It's really hard for someone who doesn't think like someone with traits of aspergers to understand what it's like...some will tell you that you have no feelings, but you do, and they run very deep...you may just find verbally expressing them hard. This does not make you a bad , evil, or narcisistic person. Your words sound more like a self protective shell you have built around yourself. I know it's hard, but if you find the right person, try and let them in to your world...you may very well be extremely glad that you did.

[Woggle]

Look at how many women who have serious issues with men also seek out married men. The same applies when the genders are reversed.

[whichwayisup]

But, isn't he part of the problem if he is actively seeking married women to sleep with, to be doing this to the husbands?

 

And what about women who knowingly chase after married men? There are some on LS who are like this. Enter many affairs.. So are they Narcissists too? Do they hate themselves?

 

I see Woggle more or less has said the same thing I just did.

[Athena]

And what about women who knowingly chase after married men? There are some on LS who are like this. Enter many affairs.. So are they Narcissists too? Do they hate themselves?

 

I see Woggle more or less has said the same thing I just did.

 

No, I mean two different issues there -- one issue is that he complains about women cheating on their men and not being able to trust women, and yet HE is the one cheating with married women!

 

And then the OTHER issue is that it struck me how many things he's written which I've heard the EXACT same phrases come out of my husband's mouth in the past. .. and it was that stuff which made me think he might want to look into NPD.

Of course I can't diagnose anyone as I'm not a psychologist or shrink, but it was uncanny how similar the two were... (not the sleeping with married people, but the exact phrases of how he feels!)

 

I DO like the poster above who pointed out about the Aspergers and how that may lead to full on Trust/ Mistrust... I think that may be relevant to the OP, since he himself mentioned he has a little Aspergers going on.

 

Yes, I know there are women who chase after married men! I know that all too well... at least 8 women have chased after my husband, and slept with him, often, multiple times. Fully aware it works both ways.

 

Regardless, OP sounds very hateful, not only in his words, but in his behavior. He states he wants a trusting, loving relationship, but he has to quit doing what bad he's doing to women.

 

I do see what you say when you say he's hurt and wants help. I hope so.

[norajane]

Look at how many women who have serious issues with men also seek out married men. The same applies when the genders are reversed.

 

Yes, you are correct. But that's not the point to dwell on if this guy wants to improve his life. Posting here is about the OP improving his life, right?

 

Sure, the OP can sit around being angry, and can continue to focus on the gender element and make his anger at half the people in the world the center of his life.

 

Or, the OP can look at changing the behaviors he engages in which do not protect him and actually invite those issues into his life.

 

He's free to choose what he wants to focus on. I think wallowing in anger and pointing fingers at other people and what they do is less useful than working to break free of his pattern of behavior that just brings crap into his life.

[Woggle]

He can change his behaviors but he can't change current trends. There are plenty of women that are faithful, loving and loyal partners but that is not what is in front of your face or what is promoted in the media. What you get shoved in your face from the media are women who are faithful to nobody but themselves and who have no use for a man besides how he can benefit her. It is also promoted as empowerment and independence.

 

The trustworthy and loyal woman is either ignored or mocked as some stepford relic from the past. What is a man supposed to think about women when this is what is shoved in our face daily.

 

I would suggest that he dig a little deeper inside the part of society that gets ignored and he will see plenty of women worth committing to.

[norajane]

He can change his behaviors but he can't change current trends. There are plenty of women that are faithful, loving and loyal partners but that is not what is in front of your face or what is promoted in the media. What you get shoved in your face from the media are women who are faithful to nobody but themselves and who have no use for a man besides how he can benefit her. It is also promoted as empowerment and independence.

 

The trustworthy and loyal woman is either ignored or mocked as some stepford relic from the past. What is a man supposed to think about women when this is what is shoved in our face daily.

 

I would suggest that he dig a little deeper inside the part of society that gets ignored and he will see plenty of women worth committing to.

 

HE is shoving it in his own face daily by seeking out women who cheat. Luring women to cheat. HE made a game of it.

 

So he can blame trends all he wants, but HE is part of that trend by his own actions.

 

If he can't or won't acknowledge that, then he will never dig a little deeper into the part of society where he can meet more quality people. He'll just keep doing what he's doing.

[brodie]

I have read your post and all the comments.

 

I would start off by dismissing the shaming and projecting being done by norajane and athena completely. You seem smart enough to have already found that they have their own issues and do not care about yours.

 

There are many men who understand how you arrived at your conclusions and appreciate both your bravery and your candor. I cordially invite you to investigate this site for men who are also noticing the same things:

 

mgtowforums.com

 

Another good one is

 

avoiceformen.com

 

If you have time, please read this

 

((www)).singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html

 

I think these sites will put your mindset in a healthy perspective. You don't sound like a misogynist, and especially not a narcissist, to me.

 

I hope this message finds you well, and I look forward to seeing you on mgtowforums!

 

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die."

[sadcalifornian]

HE is shoving it in his own face daily by seeking out women who cheat. Luring women to cheat. HE made a game of it.

 

So he can blame trends all he wants, but HE is part of that trend by his own actions.

 

If he can't or won't acknowledge that, then he will never dig a little deeper into the part of society where he can meet more quality people. He'll just keep doing what he's doing.

 

I think I agree with assessment.

[MrWombat]

your blanket statement about women seems, to me, to be rather mysoginist

LOL!

 

Really? The guy says "I'm starting to hate women" and you are like "Woah! That might be misogyny!" Miseo="hate", gyno="woman".

 

Calling it "misogyny", which it obviously is, is only an answer if you have already decided that misogyny is necessarily wrong, in all circumstances.

 

This guy gives a number of reasons for his misogyny. Wanna answer them? Or are we just going to settle for name-calling and NAWALT?

[despicableME]

At 22, you already have a post-grad. You must be some kind of boy genius because I didn't attain mine until the age of 27. At 22, I was fresh out of my BA coursework. You're well spoken and articulate... I'll give you that.

Edited December 1, 2011 by despicableME

[frozensprouts]

At 22, you already have a post-grad. You must be some kind of boy genius because I didn't attain mine until the age of 27. At 22, I was fresh out of my BA coursework. You're well spoken and articulate... I'll give you that.

 

not to keep harping on it, but a lot of people with asperger traits are very intelligent ( many have IQs that are very high...my son is like that...he's teaching himself visual basic computer programming etc. and he's just eight:laugh:... got a feeling he'll either be the next "computer genius' ( or create some new computer virus that will disable systems everywhere:laugh:)

 

unfortunately, it's as if what he was given in "intellectual intelligence" was taken away from his "emotional intelligence". He trusts anyone and everyone ( my daughter with aspergers is the other way...she trusts no one)

[despicableME]

You're assessment on the current state of our society- concerning shallowness and entitlement- and you're brutal honesty is commendable. I also DON'T like to sugarcoat things... makes them less palpable.

 

not to keep harping on it, but a lot of people with asperger traits are very intelligent ( many have IQs that are very high...my son is like that...he's teaching himself visual basic computer programming etc. and he's just eight:laugh:... got a feeling he'll either be the next "computer genius' ( or create some new computer virus that will disable systems everywhere:laugh:)

 

 

 

Exactly why I referred to him as "boy genius."

[despicableME]

Let's stop with all the intellectual babble and use of heavy vernacular. To put it simply, he does what he does because HE GETS OFF ON IT!