Ladyfuzz Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 [sIZE=2]Begining to feel like i was used. I met a guy 2 or so months ago on a dating site and when we first met we got on so well and talked about everything! All the time, we even then still had phone calls that were 4hours+ long. He completely sweet talked me and i thought i wasnt falling for him, thought i felt nothing, but i do, i feel alot and now im begining to feel like i was used. I was a virgin, and he was very experienced, he told me that many girls have messed him around and ive had guys who messed me around, i thought id finally found someone who wasnt going to do that, we met up for a few dates and then Friday just gone i went to his for a few hours, we were just gonna watch movies, but one thing leads to another, your caught in the moment and things happened, and he took something from me ( my virginity ). He's begining to distance himself, and his texts are getting less, he talks less, but still continues to tell me how amazing i am. Today he's barely talking to me, and hes been logging back into dating sites ( which is where he met me ). Its over now isnt it? I was used for that one thing? It was all part of the chase and as soon as i gave that over he is bored of me? I fell for the wrong one didnt i? Id talk to him about it, but you know how they sweet talk you around, i feel like just ignoring him right now, told him ill text him later, because im writing him long texts and all i get is a smile back 2 hours later. How do i fix this? Do i back off and let him come after me? Do i prepare myself for what i know is coming? I wont chase him, i wont beg him and i wont become clingy, thats what he says all girls do and im not gonna be another girl he can call crazy, he also told me he was scared of commitment, so why! did i get involved! Im 22, i kept my virginity for so long, to give it up and feel used.. [/sIZE]
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 [sIZE=2] I wont chase him, i wont beg him and i wont become clingy, thats what he says all girls do and im not gonna be another girl he can call crazy, he also told me he was scared of commitment, so why! did i get involved! Im 22, i kept my virginity for so long, to give it up and feel used.. [/sIZE] I'm sorry this didn't work out for you. If you don't like this feeling you should learn from the experience. You posted just a few paragraphs about this guy and I would have predicted this outcome based on the little bit you said. Anyways... Congrats for lasting until 22!
phillyfan Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Dude good 4 u , u waitd til 22, dont feel used else u aint gona rememba ur 1st time as good, n u aint gona feel good bout urself. But i think it was time girl, 22 is time 4 u 2 spred ur wings n enjoy sex n everythin tht comes with it. He was a douche, he aint good enuf 4 u, so u wudnt've kept him around anyway, rememba it as a nice 1st time,but 4 d next guy take the lessons uve learnt, if a guy says hes had a lot of girls and he aint in2 comitment hes a PLAYA, avoid him!!
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 So you have spread your legs to the guy you just met like a slut... " we were just gonna watch movies, but one thing leads to another, your caught in the moment and things happened, and he took something from me ( my virginity )." Right, one thing let to another and....you got cought in the moment...and HE TOOK your virginity..... So you are a victim of circumstance. And this Man used you and made you give him your virginity. Any responsibility on you for this?...none?...wow... play victim all you want. You wanted sex, you went to him place knowing this and you slept with him willingly, you did NOT get used. You GAVE HIM your virginity. Now you feel like a dumb ass that you are. Well..better learn next time not to sleep with players. Seriously... do you always have to be such a jerk? She isn't very experienced in these things, and this guy just kind of took advantage of that. How can you blame someone for being trusting and not the person who misuses that trust?
Celestine Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Wow, that's been some harsh responses. Apparently this guy doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, why? You don't know. Maybe he just wanted sex, he got it. Maybe it's some other reason. It doesn't really matter in the end. You have to make a decision for yourself, if you're able to have a discussion with the guy, you could get some closure this way. If you don't think that's possible, move on. Even if he explains himself, give yourself some time to evaluate if it's worth to continue in this relationship. Lightheartedness won't come back after this, and this is what a new relationship should feel like.. As for taking your virginity, well, assuming you wanted to have sex with him, he didn't take it from you. No it won't be coming back, but hell, you've just discovered a whole new dimension of interpersonal relationships. Look forward to the future, you will have some amazing nights for sure and with a man who really wants to be with you.
Wolf18 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Wow a female virgin until 22? That is like a world record in the modern world. But nobody used you. You met a guy who was omg THE HOTTEST GUY EVERR and had sex with him. It was mutual and nobody took anything from you without your permission.
Taramere Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 How do i fix this? Do i back off and let him come after me? Do i prepare myself for what i know is coming? I wont chase him, i wont beg him and i wont become clingy, thats what he says all girls do and im not gonna be another girl he can call crazy, he also told me he was scared of commitment, so why! did i get involved! Im 22, i kept my virginity for so long, to give it up and feel used.. Ladyfuzz...changing the font format causes formatting problems when we're trying to quote parts of your post to respond to. From what you're saying about the guy, he's distanced himself slightly but not completely. It could be that you're feeling a little vulnerable after having had sex with him, and overly ready to construe the situation as being one where you were used. I think he'll probably get in touch with you again, but I'd urge you to be cautious about how you respond. Probably best to be friendly enough, but think twice before you arrange to meet up with him again. If you're feeling like this now, it's only a small taste of how you'll feel if you get more heavily invested in him and then he does the same thing (going cold, distancing himself) on a grander scale. I think your gut is giving you an early warning sign about this one, and you'd be wise to listen. As for the virginity thing...you'll get your first, mind-blowingly romantic sexual experience at some point. Probably for most people, losing their virginity isn't the best sexual experience they ever have.
FitChick Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Probably for most people, losing their virginity isn't the best sexual experience they ever have. If the OP wanted to get revenge, she could say, "I had heard that the first time a woman had sex with a man, it was usually terrible but I didn't believe it until now."
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