shalisa Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 i have been with my bf for 13 years on and off. more on then off. the last 5 years have been real stable. we have no kids and are not married. im a very outgoing person easy going and not one to start fights or anything like that. i usually adjust to his life style and what he likes and wan'ts. anyways this past year was ok. he had opened up a new business and hours are like 8 am to like 5 or 6 pm give or take. well he used to come home every nite around 7pm or so but usually never later then that. he works 1st i work 2nd at my job. so on my days off id make him dinners clean the house do good things. and we we're like homebodys together. well his b day was in oct so on his b day he text me that he was going to see 2 friends of his that he knew 4 years and hang out. which one of the friends i dont like due to a past conflict to where he introduced my bf to his ex girl of his friend and i was history back then but didn't know til way later. any ways it was that friend he was going to see on his b day. mind you we both don't drink or anything. so i got the text and was ok with it. well he got home later that nite like 1130 which is late 4 him due to he has to be up so early. i came home from my shift and all was ok. well all of a sudden i noticed as the weeks went by that he wasn't calling me at night like he used to or the texts became real short. he was coming home later and later to where i get home by midnite and i was off one mon and he never called to see if i was home or anything. then i didn't call him either. didn't want to seem stolkerish. well he came in at 1130 like rite b 4 i would be home from work. he wont talk to me or nothing really. i tried alot and he'd say will talk tomorrow hun. then 2m would come and he would keep saying 2m... then i noticed a bottle of cologne that this girl gave him a long time ago was missing outta his cabinet. he never wears cologne. just has it. well then i noticed his shirts smelled like it when it was laundry time. then he was giving me sum money around this time to buy gifts 4 myself too. (guilt)? unusual for him. then at ten every nite i would call him to say goodnite every nite like this 4 years and now he was never even here to answer or wont answer his cell. so finally one nite 2 weeks ago i called him to see what was going on all this distance and no talking anymore just like that? so he didn't answer then called me back. and was real cocky and said i have no rite to ask him where he was or i am to never ask him that again and was all of a sudden pointing out flaws about me. i didn't do anything wrong i said what is the problem i thought everything was fine. well he came home but wouldn't come in the house and continued to talk to me from the driveway on his cell. then he kept saying things to make me feel sick like uh oh this is over. hes trying to get rid of me. well he ended up coming in and went straight to his room and i went in there and said what is going on whats the problem? he said will talk tomorrow ok hun? so that went on 4 a few days. and i just cant stand it so i left i packed up all my stuff put in the shed and i took sum items and went to my moms on and off 4 the last 2 weeks. he never called me once he only texts after 10pm at nite to say hi hun or will talk soon. then id text back well what is it? he'd never respond. then the 1st weekend i was gone he text he loves me with his whole heart etc and where was i etc... i never text him where i was but i tried to talk to him thru textn and he would only say certain things but never answer my questions he keeps avoiding me. so i stayed away and like i said for the last 2 weeks he only texts me after ten at nite and the texts are short and stupid like. i never get any answers. so last nite he text me hi hun and i said hi stranger then i heard nothing back. i then asked him when is he shutting off my cell phone (under his name) he says never i will never turn it off. im like wth he texts me sorta nice but then if i am to talk or see him he treats me like he dont want me... o and he text me the nite b4 that we miss you meaning him and the dogs so i had the incentive to come home last nite. so i did and he was in bed sleeping. i sleapt on the couch. he got up then came and sorta tapped me hard and said get up and go to the bed and take the dog with you like he was mad and mean all at once. so i did and off he want to work and again i sit here in this lonley house feeling lost and sick over this. also 2 weeks ago he bought a new sports car which he texted me that was his dream car. i have never heard him mention this particular car as being his dream car ever!!! hes the kind of man that if he wants you and say you just mention that you like a certain car he will go get one just to prove that he can and to show it off to you, this is one luxary along with his many other luxaries, all these changes and things happened so fast i didn't see them coming. he says there's no other gurl in texts to me when he would text. yet when i'm around i feel there is and that he don't want me here. or that hes trying to build this relationship with this new gf and when he feels secure eunff to have her move in thats when he will tell me to leave. but as of now he says no to me leaving. also this gurl was sumone he dated back in the day and now im thinking shes back... i don't know what to do. i'm sorry this is so long but i am so stressed to where i cant eat or sleep or focus on my life. i have to vent. what do you folks think of this? he has hurt me in the past. he just turned 39 also and we have big history together. i did alot for him as he did for me yet hes pulled away from me and wont talk to me only thru a text after 10 pm and there real short and idk anymore. can sumone help me. should i just move out? should i stay to see what unfolds. i don't want to see anymore then i have. but i cant stay in this house alone knowing hes out there not even thinking of me or that he wants me gone but cant tell me yet cuz he hasn't got this new girls heart yet... please help i'm so lost!!!!!!!!! asap i am thinking of not coming back here anymore. after tonite... thanks for reading and again sorry so long!!! again he won't talk to me at all. i am to emotional to also try to go and follow him. i just don't know if i should leave and then he can move foward with his new fling or what... he doesn't wan't to tell me yet i'm thinking cuz hes still building with this new girl.
mike588 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Sounds like he's reconnecting with this girl and doesn't want to talk to you and or admit it due to guilt. I'd tell him one last time how you feel,what you want then move out and move on, don't contact him again. He will know how you feel and what you want,, there won't be any guessing on his part. Move on, let the new relationship run it's course,,it may or may not work and it will be up to you to decide what to do/what you want if he trys to come back. I know it's so much easier said that done but that's all you can really do at this time, it appears he's already made his decision. You can't make him want you or love you! Don't contact him, if you keep bugging him,crying ,pleading your only pushing him further away from you.
Author shalisa Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 thank you for the comment. like i said he wont talk to me but he wont tell me to leave. i already know i think but i just feel lost inside. o i dont text him at all or call i am not one to chase him he would always text me 1st then id respond. but im thinking hes doing me dirty. i just wish i had the funds to up and leave everything is his. i helped him succeed thru the years and i have nuthing to show 4 it. hes always been a real cocky person sarcastic. calls people losers if they live a certain way. so you think its over? i guess it is true why would anyone just stop the love and connection for no reason... i guess its time to look 4 an apartment now. wow whatta slap in the face... thanks hun ttys!
Author shalisa Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 what should i do with the cell phone. he wonnt shut it off yet i need it but in sum ways its like a contact thing for him... idk. i just dont want to be there every time he texts and i get tempted so lemme know thank you!
mike588 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 thank you for the comment. like i said he wont talk to me but he wont tell me to leave. i already know i think but i just feel lost inside. o i dont text him at all or call i am not one to chase him he would always text me 1st then id respond. but im thinking hes doing me dirty. i just wish i had the funds to up and leave everything is his. i helped him succeed thru the years and i have nuthing to show 4 it. hes always been a real cocky person sarcastic. calls people losers if they live a certain way. so you think its over? i guess it is true why would anyone just stop the love and connection for no reason... i guess its time to look 4 an apartment now. wow whatta slap in the face... thanks hun ttys! If it's his cell phone in his name and he's paying for it leave it,get your own and don't give him your number! Doing that is like saying, here is how to get in touch with me if you need me,I'll be waiting, believe me if he want's to get in touch he will find away! I know your pain,I just got slapped in my face too after doing so much for my ex.,, it hurts. As far as it being over,, sure sounds like it,, for now.Please just leave him alone now,, your not his priority at this moment,don't come across as needy,whiney, show him you don't need him. Who knows what will happen in the near future with them,,it may not work,leave with you dignaty,your self respect and focus on yourself. If you just let him know what you want from him,how you feel etc. and then just disappear he will respect you for that. Crying, begging,pleading is NOT the thing to do,,you will look weak and pathetic! If you want him back in the future this is your best option but don't sit around waiting on him. Take this time to heal,, work on yourself. I feel for you,it's so difficult but remember your not alone. Keep posting if you feel you need to.
Author shalisa Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 yeah i think i will do that... see i never cried and pleaded i never was one to do that and i know he knows that. its almost like he keeps leaving these clues around cuz he knows once i smell a rat i leave. he knows me that way. so its like he figures lemme start distancing myslef i know shel leave then... lol stupid but true. oh also when this was starting he was texting me how he was sorry for being so distant to me and will make it up to me and talking bout having love that morning etc... and its like all his texts messages are nice but when i verbally talked to him on the phone that one nite it was like a monster nit picking at me etc. and i even said well how r u going to text me yesterday bout being sorry then now your being mean like you dont want this? he has no answer as usual... so isaid give me sum closure so i can go on i would give you sum i said at least have that much respect for me. but again i hear nuthing. and see no signs of him changing. he still comes home late still doesnt call me. still ignores me. i mean this is fresh to me this hasnt happened between us since like 05 when i left for the same things i felt the distance. but the only thing thats diff now is the not calling me or coming home that hes never done. he used to always call me like crazy where u @? or whats going on? now i hear jack... i hate this so much... now i will leave and ill feel like the bad girl cuz i left with out alot of proof yet i tried to tell him and he wont talk bout anything. and it makes him feel like the one who got dumped cuz i moved. hes manipulative alot to make it look like its the other person. how can these ppl sleep at nite and eat? whjile im sick and cant sleep or eat... its not fair dammit lol
mike588 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 yeah i think i will do that... see i never cried and pleaded i never was one to do that and i know he knows that. its almost like he keeps leaving these clues around cuz he knows once i smell a rat i leave. he knows me that way. so its like he figures lemme start distancing myslef i know shel leave then... lol stupid but true. oh also when this was starting he was texting me how he was sorry for being so distant to me and will make it up to me and talking bout having love that morning etc... and its like all his texts messages are nice but when i verbally talked to him on the phone that one nite it was like a monster nit picking at me etc. and i even said well how r u going to text me yesterday bout being sorry then now your being mean like you dont want this? he has no answer as usual... so isaid give me sum closure so i can go on i would give you sum i said at least have that much respect for me. but again i hear nuthing. and see no signs of him changing. he still comes home late still doesnt call me. still ignores me. i mean this is fresh to me this hasnt happened between us since like 05 when i left for the same things i felt the distance. but the only thing thats diff now is the not calling me or coming home that hes never done. he used to always call me like crazy where u @? or whats going on? now i hear jack... i hate this so much... now i will leave and ill feel like the bad girl cuz i left with out alot of proof yet i tried to tell him and he wont talk bout anything. and it makes him feel like the one who got dumped cuz i moved. hes manipulative alot to make it look like its the other person. how can these ppl sleep at nite and eat? whjile im sick and cant sleep or eat... its not fair dammit lol No it's not fair! When someone truely loves you they won't hurt you,and if they do you can see it in their eyes that it hurts them too.
Recommended Posts