Can't get him out of my head- a case of unrequited love

[veritylee]

There is this guy in my class who I see everyday and will be for the next 3 years. The problem is I can't get him out of my head. Every time I someone calls/texts me I keep hoping its him. Every time I go out I hope I bump into him. The problem is I am 90% sure that he doesn't like me back. Its really painful and he is so mean to me. I get the feeling that he doesn't like me because every time I am around him I don't feel good. He puts me down. He is rude to me. But I still can't get him out of my system. Its distracting me. I keep making excuses maybe he likes me but doesn't know how to show it. I am pretty sure he knows as he is only a few years older than me. How do I forget about him? How can I be interested in other guys if I can't stop thinking about him? Should I confess my crush for him? Will this make things awkward if we see each other everyday. When I talk to him I feel there is no personal depth. He talks to me like a colleague. We don't even get along. Every time I am with him there is nothing to say. He is a very tall guy and I thought he was handsome the first time I saw him. I think I am only like him because I find him attractive. I am almost 23. What I don't understand is, why he can be so mean to me. When I am hurting so much on the inside because of him. Why can't he just talk to me about this? He knows I like him but he is still mean to me. We have never spoken about it, I am just making a very good guess. I am very sure he knows. I thought guys should be nice to the girls that like them. I wish I could confess this to him but every time I am with him. I don't feel comfortable telling him. We talk about very superficial topics, topics that go no where near the topic of romance. He does this on purpose. How come he is so mean? I can't take this anymore, I want to call him right now and confess all. But I simply cannot bring myself to doing it, I can't do it. I don't know what he will say. I don't think he is very nice. But I feel the need to call him because it might help me get over him. Problem is it could and will make things awkward. It could make things very awkward, especially since we will be in the same class. I haven't even told my best friend in class or anyone else. What should I do? How should I feel? Should I tell him? Will this make things awkward? Any advice is much appreciated.

[veritylee]

My heart is full of pain.