LoveBear22 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 (edited) TL;DR: Got cheated on many times in a relationship that i worked my hardest on, shes dating him immediately after i found out and lost my ****, the progress of getting over it all is painfully slow despite no contact. I posted not too long ago on here essentially asking how long my ex would last with her new guy, who she cheated on me with 6 times. I was away for school for a brief period (2 months) after we were already in love and saying all kinds of intense stuff, she started a new relationship with the other guy, and then broke it off with him when I got back home acting like nothing happened but pretended she and him were friends for the next 10mos of our relationship to the end. She introduced us on skype, amongst other ****ed up things, but anyway one month after I found out about them and we broke up she was dating him, and has been ever since. I was with her for a year and a half, met every member of her family, went on vacation together, the works. So at the end, when I was an emotional wreck, she laughed at my pain and rub their relationship in my face while telling me that we might get back together in the future, just needed to breathe, and other ****ed up **** which i didnt understand--this girl was my first real love. I rejected being friends because of her cruelty, blocked all contact, and have tried my hardest to move forward. Thing is, its extremely difficult. My self esteem is in tatters, and I have to battle in my mind between the love i had for the girl she pretended to be and the pain from the horrible person she turned out to be. Long story short, I almost fear that she just treated me the way she did because I didn't matter as much as the other guy--even though I treated her as best i could and she told me she wanted to move in with me and spend our lives together. I was pretty much brainwashed into thinking I was the world to her, and yet she moved on with unbelievable speed even when I was trying to be friendly and understand what had happened, be compassionate etc (because when I wasnt she told me I was emotionally abusive--i would ask why she did it, tell her it was disgusting, but never called her names). I got played, and now I feel like I gave this girl the best loving i possibly could (I literally did anything she needed, was always there) and I still wasn't good enough. Not to sound arrogant, but I am a good looking kid, educated, and have never had trouble finding pretty girls (this girl was gorgeous). I feel like now there's something wrong with me for being too sensitive/emotional when she felt so much less, and that they're off having an amazing relationship while I am far from ready thinking to myself what I could've done even better (i don't know). Its such an awful feeling knowing she doesnt ever even think of me, is completely in love with the other guy already, and knowing that she has narcissistic traits doesnt help at all. Im lost. It was the best I could do for a woman in a relationship it still ended the worst way it possibly could. Sorry for the long paragraph, thank you to those who cared to read. EDIT: I know I shouldn't care anymore and this girl can be considered by many to be "emotionless trash", but she seems so happy with the new guy, and I am unable to simply erase emotional bonds i had despite the pain and realizations of truth. Edited November 28, 2011 by LoveBear22
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 EDIT: I know I shouldn't care anymore and this girl can be considered by many to be "emotionless trash", but she seems so happy with the new guy, and I am unable to simply erase emotional bonds i had despite the pain and realizations of truth. Your answer is anger. This whole thing should make you pissed... absolutely seeing red. Use that anger to cut through those bonds.... it's Ok to hate her. Chances are this new guy will wind up in the same situation as you. The other thing that will help is getting back in the game. Focus your attention on a new woman. You will find in a rather short period of time that the xGF isn't in your thoughts anymore. If you sit and just dwell on it... that magnifies the hurt. So stop picking at the wound and let it heal.
Author LoveBear22 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 (edited) Your answer is anger. This whole thing should make you pissed... absolutely seeing red. Use that anger to cut through those bonds.... it's Ok to hate her. Chances are this new guy will wind up in the same situation as you. The other thing that will help is getting back in the game. Focus your attention on a new woman. You will find in a rather short period of time that the xGF isn't in your thoughts anymore. If you sit and just dwell on it... that magnifies the hurt. So stop picking at the wound and let it heal. I am furious but its almost futile. The girl she pretended to be was wonderful, sweet, playful and the best in bed of anyone ive ever had. Since then ive been with other girls, the beginning doesn't even come close and neither does the intimacy. Its very depressing but look at me now, im picking at it on this forum just because it feels good to vent, and I have kind of been brainwashed into thinking it was my fault (for going away for two months). I think its a lot different getting over a mind**** like this than a normal, healthy, non-manipulative relationship. Edited November 28, 2011 by LoveBear22
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