bslchump Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Hi everyone, It's been a little while since I've been on here, so there may be some new faces who don't recognize me. Feel free to browse my post history if you'd like to know the full story, but i'll post a synopsis. Roughly a year ago, my girlfriend split up with me, essentially for another guy. We had dated for 5 years and I had signed our 2nd apartment lease with her not too long before we split. We were also living in a state far away from my home state. I was kind of a wreck and really unsure of what to do. After about 4 months of awkwardly living with her, I finally moved out and back home. It hasn't been easy in the slightest. For months and months I was utterly miserable. I simultaneously wanted to be around people, and hated being around them. I was lethargic, yet angry and bored. Things were just really bad for me. After a few months home and no contact with her, she began contacting me. I had been feeling slightly better (not much though), and this just kicked me right back to square one. On the plus side, the guy she left me for turned out to be an utter flop. Their relationship started as an online one and he moved to the city she was living in (I'm not sure if it was for her or other reasons). It took...roughly 2 weeks before things were so rocky between them that she started texting me things like, "I never knew what we had until it was over" etc etc etc. They split up shortly after that. That was a few months ago and she and I have been in regular contact since then. Until recently I was getting the (VERY) strong impression that she wanted to get back together. The rub is that she never actually said it flat-out. She would send me things and tell me this reminded her of me and blah blah. She still does it, and I'm very nice about it, but she also told me she intends to keep living in the state she's in (which is very very far away). She had been telling me she wanted to move home repeatedly (which is about a 10 minute drive from my house now), so I thought all signals were a go. After she definitively told me she wasn't going to be moving here, I gave up. It may be the right thing anyway; not getting back together with someone who didn't appreciate me and left me for someone else. Despite all of this, I have been feeling better. My friend and I are going to go look at apartments to move into in a different city, and I have been enjoying my old hobbies again. This isn't to say that I don't wake up some days and think of her. Or that I don't get sad sometimes. Bad days still happen, it's just that now, I know it's temporary. The sadness before was so crushing because it was a never-ending maw. I know that a lot of you are probably feeling that way right now. And trust me, I know how painful it gets. Just know that it will end sooner or later (most likely later. No sense in lying to the vast majority of you) and life will resume, as hard as that is to believe.
PoppyLove89 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 First off I would say you're being far too nice even replying to her let alone anything else! If my ex had left me for someone else I'd gladly never want to speak to him again...I'd put my feelings of love for him aside and realise that hey, he didn't respect me in the end or what we had together so why should I reach out the olive branch?! She didn't deserve you, might even regret giving you up for someone else (I don't know what happened to her and this other guy?) but that's your 'get out of jail free' card! I know given your long history with her, it must be difficult but you're worth a tonne more than someone like that. She didn't deserve you in the end but someone out there will and they'll appreciate you for who you are and what you have together! Cut contact...or just be extremely blunt with her!
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