RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 (edited) Well here I am. Back on LS. Needing some advice. Me and my gf of almost 11 months just split up 2 days ago. Everything was fine and we got into a heated DUMB argument because we were both pretty drunk. Things were blown on of proportion and she tried to leave. I ran after her to keep her from drinking and driving but she locked herself in her car and claimed she was just going to sleep in her car. I knew she wouldnt so I gave her some space. She sat out there for like 10-15 mins it seemed like and then i heard her car start up and i ran outside and stood in front of the car pleading her to not be stupid and drink and drive and that I would sleep on the couch and she could leave first thing in the morning if she wanted. She then claimed she was just moving her car to some where else in the apartment complex to get further away from me. I said fine and went inside and grabbed my shoes to go find her. I walked around for awhile before i finally found her. She wouldnt roll her window down and just calling names and flipping me off. She tried to leave again and thats when i told her i was going to call someone to come give her a ride and she FLIPPED. She got out and slapped the phone out of my hand and began to get in my face. Remember we were still pretty drunk. I stood at the back of the car and refused to move. Usually our fight diffuse after a short time so i was just trying to stall. She then started to try and push me out of the way and almost acted like she was going to hit me. I taunted her by saying "come on punch me" Guess i shouldnt taunt a drunk because she did. Right afterwards she began crying and saying sorry. She left and I chased her out the gate trying to get her to stop but she went anyways. I was drunk and pissed so i told her i would come get my things after she had pretty much told me not to talk to her. She ignored my texts until i called her in the morning to come pick up my car and things. We talked for like 10-15 mins and she said things like, i love you still, you will always be my baby, i want to be with you but i cant. I told her that her feelings were gone and blah blah blah and she replied that i didnt kno her true feelings and to stop talkin out my a$$. We hugged she was teary eyed and I let her keep the jacket that she has had of mine our whole relationship since it means more to her than me and she wished me well. Since then she has ignored almost all texts, phone calls, and facebook messages. Weve done this before and she ignored then also. About after a week of her having crazy times with friends she came begging back. I removed our relationship from facebook and in a dumb way i waited for her to remove me as a friend. She finally did today and it hurts. Idk what to think since all this has happened before and if she will come back around. She tends to be in denial about situations and then comes out of it and finally admits her wrongs eventually. Just dont see why she says she wants to be with me but she cant. She even sends me ": (" and says things like "you'll always be my baby" I dont get it. She removed me as a friend but left her picture of me and her and it still says "in a relationship"......???? Im sorry its long but needed to vent on here and get some sort of input. I hate it was over a dumb drunk fight where we BOTH acted wrong. Edited November 28, 2011 by RockGuy87
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Can't get any sleep. Any help with this guys? Sry post was so long
twinkles Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Just relax and give it a couple of days. I don't understand why you have to run onto facebook and de- friend them or change your relationship status the minute you have a fight or break up. This proves nothing. You know where they ask your status don't list anything unless you are married leave it blank. People who know you know that you are in a relationship.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Thanks for the reply. Thats what I plan to do. That way if she does come back ill be in a better position to make the right decision and if not then I am already on my way. Still havent heard anything from her, but she did make a facebook status this morning that said "If only you knew". Im confused on this because it could easily mean two different things. 1. It could be "if you only knew how much I..... (good response) or 2. "If you only knew that theres some other dude or something like if you only knew how much better it is without you." That saying "If you only knew" means something to our relationship and she knows it. 11 months ago before we ever hit it off i made that my status because i was just saying "if only you knew" to me having feelings for her. She eventually asked what it was about and thats what she had guessed and it was something that she always brought up throughout our relationship and how much she loved it since it was really like our first thing. I just dont know if she would seriously try and use that in a bad way or to make a poke at me. Damn these women are sooooo difficult. Lol
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Theres gotta be some opinions on this. Bump to the top
EgoJoe Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Love blinds you, dude. Stop giving her view of reality any credence. You think that she's doing the same for you? You're the man. So, be objective...because she won't.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Thanks. Ego joe can you explain a little better? Still just confused on what this could mean by her doing this. I know what you mean about she's probably not doing the same but her using that phrase is easily something. Just idk what. Of course Im not going to ask her.
twinkles Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I agree with Joe...you are the man. This doesn't sound like it's over just yet. Please don't beg or plead for her back.. let her come to you. You have to regain control of the relationship or you'll become whipped. I think she may (stress may) be using the if you only knew in the same context you used it. and never tell a woman what she feels...ask her and listen.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Twinkles. Thanks a lot for what you have said. I will wait for her to come to me. The 1st time this happened she ignored and eventually texted me and SHE said she wanted to fix things and be together. This is what was said last time. " Im so sorry for literally everything. I hurt the one i love the most ever. I'll never forgive myself but i hope you can one day. You seriously are the most amazing guy and truly make my world go round and you deserve they very best *******. You do babe. I miss you. I need you so bad (pet name). You're my rock...but i dont deserve it nor will it happen. But i just wanted to tell you. ; ( im super sad. You cant imagine. My hearts broken and i cant go 5 minutes without crying. I've really lost the best thing that's been mine. But please dont text back. Please please please dont. But i do really really really love you. You are my first and always will be my 1st." She always throws the please dont text me out there and then if i dont she does again.
twinkles Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I remember one boyfriend who used to leave all the time after an arguement and I used to do the please come back, I love you blah blah blah. One day after he left I didn't go chasing him as usual. He sat in the car for about an hour then came back up to my apartment..he said you weren't coming back for me this time..I said no if you want to go go now and don't come back and I meant it. I was prepared to stand my ground. This new found respect for myself changed the whole dynamic of the relationship. So when she texts you again feel free to use my line but like I said you have to be mentally prepared that she may not come back.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Im trying to prepare myself that she wont. But i have to admit it is hard. Especially with that status today. I just dont get if its what she wants then why not do whatever you can.
twinkles Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I know it's hard and it hurts but please just wait for a reply from her and do nothing right now ok. You have got to turn the tables on her right now or these games will go on forever.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 I will. Ive said all that Ive needed to her and cannot say anymore. Shes made it clear she doesnt wanna hear me right now and doesnt wanna talk to me. So theres no choice. Its not considered breadcrumbs if it wasnt said to me or meant for me to see is it?
twinkles Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 She absolutely wanted you to see that but right now we don't know what she wants from you so I won't call it breadcrumbs. Don't kill yourself analyzing the situation just wait and let me know if she contacts you. Get busy with something to get your mind off it.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Will do. Ill post back here or keep you informed via PM. Thanks again.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 Hey everyone. Nothing new from her towards me directly but she just updated her status again and in the same day as what was mentioned previously she said "Hard day". She rarely ever updated her status while we were together and yet here she is and had has said those two things in one day. Im not her friend put my friends/family are and thats how i know. I know it means nothing since she has reached out. I also know that she might be miserable and having a rough time but that doesn't mean there will ever be a second chance. I know its quite possible to hate what is happening but still doing it. Just please give some words of advice or hell at this point in time just have a conversation.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 (edited) Here I am still updating.... It finally happened. She changed her profile picture away from us and no longer says shes in a relationship. Why wait this long? Why say the statues she did and constantly be online but wait this long to do it? Ugh now i feel sick again..... I wanna text her sooo badly now. I knew i needed NC before and was staying strong. Now i feel like i HAVE to. Edited November 29, 2011 by RockGuy87
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 Well last night was at least barely better than the last...
twinkles Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Just hang on Rock she's doing whatever she can to get you to call. Don't do it. It has only been three days. It'll get easier believe me.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 Thank you so much. It makes my day when I get a reply back like that. I'm holding on, barely. I know it's only been 3 days by what if it doesn't happen this time? Took exactly a week last time. I love her an the times we had. I'm sorry for some things and know if given the chance I would do better. But a part of me seriously just wants her to come back not only because I love her but because I could focus on something and get through the holidays and this semester. I just don't have any closure. It's always left at that he wants to be together but "can't" but then won't talk to me. So I never really know why. All I know is she is hurting really bad. Last time she cried 24/7.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 Twink, I know it gets easier. But I kno NC is for me but can't help but hate that maybe its helping her keeping going on her way...
twinkles Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 You never really get any closure. Compare it to a deep wound you get it all sewn up (closure) but the scar will always be there. Get what I mean. If you keep caving in you only continue the cycle. Either she wants you or she doesn't. Let her figure it out. You never want to guilt or beg someone into coming back to you it never works.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 In your honest opinion (I know you don't know her or the situation) but with everything that has happened with the stuff on Facebook and no outreach from her. What do you think her motive is if any. She removed me as a friend so she knows I can't see those sad posts. I doubt she assumes my family will tell.
Author RockGuy87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 Well still nothing. But I'm going to go out tonight with an ex of mine. She use to be a good friend but cut her loose when I got into this past relationship. She's good listener so maybe this will help. Why do I feel guility about it? I feel like I'm cheating and I kno it would hurt her. But I gotta act like she's not coming back I guess the best I can.
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