ditzchic Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 So I've been casually seeing a guy for about 3 months now. By casual, I mean very casual. We get together like once every 2 or 3 weeks because we are both busy people and he travels frequently for his job. When we do get together it's always like the dinner and a movie type thing, always in public, never really intimate. We've never been to each other's places, we haven't even really been physical yet besides for a make-out session or two in the car before we said goodnight. We talk by text every couple of days, like 2 or 3 messages a day just chit chatting. Nothing significant. Personally, I like him as a person but I'm not really feeling any of the "butterflies" with him but I do like him, he makes me laugh like crazy and he really is great boyfriend material. He's honest, trustworthy, caring, has a decent job and a clear set of goals in life. Everything you want to take home to mom. Over the last few days he has been texting me more frequently and the conversation has been crossing over to things that sound like he's trying to gauge if I want to get more serious with him. At this point, I'm not really sure if I do. I wouldn't call me a clingy or needy type girl when it comes to dating but when it comes to someone I would consider a boyfriend, I guess I kind of can be. He is frequently out of town on business and he is taking classes for his MBA at night. He's always busy. Companionship is kind of a big thing to me. Since he's so busy during the week he likes to spend the majority of his free time just hanging out and relaxing, I love traveling, going out with friends, having some drinks, anything social. In my ideal relationship, my partner would be doing those things with me. I know it kind of just sounds like we are incompatible but I think it's a little too early to put that stamp on it just yet considering that I do enjoy his company and haven't fully gauged my feelings for him yet. I believe that if the feelings are there you can get through just about any incompatibility. I want to keep seeing him casually but I'm afraid of the "Where do you see this going?" conversation that I feel is about to come up. I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him think he has to change his lifestyle for me but I don't want to lead him on either. How should I play it?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 This is a puzzler... For I'm inclined to suggest that you compare the kinds of guy you usually date, to the kinds of males who were prominent in your formative years prior to the age of 10. If those are A+ individuals on both counts, then it does indeed seem as if you're going to let this guy down as easy as possible. IF on the other hand you usually date 'bad boys'... AND IF the men in your distant past were bad guys too... THEN you should be taking a much deeper look at this guy, to see if by chance he is the sort you NEED in order to give yourself a chance at long-term companionship. Indeed he himself doesn't sound prominently flawed, and if you're the sort who tends to light-up fast and furiously in romances before flaming-out quickly, then perhaps a change would do you good.
jobaba Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 So I've been casually seeing a guy for about 3 months now. By casual, I mean very casual. We get together like once every 2 or 3 weeks because we are both busy people and he travels frequently for his job. When we do get together it's always like the dinner and a movie type thing, always in public, never really intimate. We've never been to each other's places, we haven't even really been physical yet besides for a make-out session or two in the car before we said goodnight. We talk by text every couple of days, like 2 or 3 messages a day just chit chatting. Nothing significant. Personally, I like him as a person but I'm not really feeling any of the "butterflies" with him but I do like him, he makes me laugh like crazy and he really is great boyfriend material. He's honest, trustworthy, caring, has a decent job and a clear set of goals in life. Everything you want to take home to mom. Over the last few days he has been texting me more frequently and the conversation has been crossing over to things that sound like he's trying to gauge if I want to get more serious with him. At this point, I'm not really sure if I do. I wouldn't call me a clingy or needy type girl when it comes to dating but when it comes to someone I would consider a boyfriend, I guess I kind of can be. He is frequently out of town on business and he is taking classes for his MBA at night. He's always busy. Companionship is kind of a big thing to me. Since he's so busy during the week he likes to spend the majority of his free time just hanging out and relaxing, I love traveling, going out with friends, having some drinks, anything social. In my ideal relationship, my partner would be doing those things with me. I know it kind of just sounds like we are incompatible but I think it's a little too early to put that stamp on it just yet considering that I do enjoy his company and haven't fully gauged my feelings for him yet. I believe that if the feelings are there you can get through just about any incompatibility. I want to keep seeing him casually but I'm afraid of the "Where do you see this going?" conversation that I feel is about to come up. I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him think he has to change his lifestyle for me but I don't want to lead him on either. How should I play it? If you need the butterflies, and the animal attraction and to think he's HOT, then dump him. It seems as if you are a woman with enough options who can afford to do so. Everybody plays the game differently and the way I play it is a complete 180 of you...
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