momto3boys Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 For those who have followed my story. My husband kicked me out at 8 months pregnant. He treated me horribly during the split up, got on dating websites, found out he was doing drugs, has ptsd,etc. I had my baby boy on 11/13 ! My ex did not come up for the birth but came up as soon as i got out of the hospital to spend time with our 3 year old and meet his newest son. He sent me mixed signals the whole time up here, acted like we were still together. i did not cave in, i was nice but ignored it. Then he went back down to North carolina (he is stationed there) and im a huge idiot because i wrote him an email telling him i still cared about him and how i wish things could work out, we just had a baby and i felt like we should try to make things work. He pretty much up and left me with no real reason. Then he's always back and forth (the end of oct he wrote me an email asking me to work things out and i said id think about it but he had to change and it would take a lot to get me back). Eventually he went back to his ways and things didnt work out. He pretty much has been avoiding any texts/calls from me (which havent been many, my son called once and another time i texted asking him if he got my email). He finally texted me back and said "im not ignoring you and i did read your email but i did not respond because i dont know what to say back". Im assuming that he probably doesnt feel the same way if he doesnt know what to say? I feel like an idiot now, but i really want to be a family and make things work. We havent even tried to make things work. i know a relationship is two sided and he treated me like dirt so i shouldnt even want him back. Maybe im desperate for us to be a family because we just had a baby 2 weeks ago. Now i dont know what to do? Go back to no contact?
M2155 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 You can't be NC if you have children together, but you can't force him to be a family either. Yes it's too sided and if you're doing all the work, it's not a relationship. You have to be there for your kids now. Congrats on the baby boy by the way! This man is not taking you seriously. I'm sure he too would love to have things work out for his kids but he has to come to that decision on his own. So yes, I would let it go and focus on the kids. He knows how you feel and he knows what's at stake, but words won't make him do anything.
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