SkyEmtRN Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) Ok lets get this out the way first. I'm looking for a opinion. I don't want to hear "oh just move on, let her go, go nc" etc. I heard that all already. Long story short. 2-3yr she broke up saying feelings faded, took her for granted blah blah blah. We were both stressed out about school life etc. She 24 I'm 21. She called it off on Oct 8. We are eachothers first love. Rest of My break up story can be found in my other threads. Ok so this weekend, my ex gf went on a family trip for the holidays. Nothing crazy. First she says it was sad that she couldn't bring the teddy bear I gave her. Then she said she's brining her laptop b/c she might have wifi at the hotel. She only talks to me on her laptop through AIM. BUT she took the spongebob pillow pet I gave her for her birthday last September. She txted me at 8:50p(she knew i was at work)"I took spongebob with me, idk" Then she says "Hey. Hope u had a good day. Can i ask what uve been up to?" When I got home, I signed onto AIM (I used a different account to see if she was on) and she's been on her screenname for over an hour. I'm the ONLY person she talks to on that screename. She also fell alseep with her laptop on while still signed onto AIM. I didn't text her until 1130p. I said "hey hope you have a good trip and drive home safe". She was asleep. I also sent her a picture of spongebob feety pajamas. She woke up at 1:17a and said hey blah blah phone not letting me download the picture. So I sent it through AIM...she passed out again but woke up at 3:36a and saw the picture and said "lol thank u, made me smile, spongebob is so cool :)" So i waited till 8:08a and said "glad i made u smile" One hour later i sent a smiley face. I sent this to her AIM account eventhough I knew she was offline and probably won't read it until she gets home from the trip (tonight). Another thing before all that, during her trip she said to me "its so pretty here, i wanted to bring you, but idk" No response since then, it's not bothering me. I don't text her first...I'm keeping is LC and letting her message me when she wants but I don't go running to reply to it And she does message me first. She also has no service out there and her phone craps out on her (I seen the phone for myself so its not an excuse) Before all this she said she wanted to be alone and not date but part of her wants to date other people blah blah blah. I giving her her space. I'm working on making a better me so don't say all that oh move on stuff blah blah blah not what I came to hear. Just want an opinion based on that situation please. A girl opinion would be best. To me she's doing the push and pull thing. She cannot go one day without texting me. Edited November 27, 2011 by SkyEmtRN
Eddie Edirol Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Shes not doing the push pull thing, she is just curious of how you are doing . She probably just wants to make sure youre okay with the breakup. She doesnt want to be with you, but its hard to just cut off someone that didnt do you dirty. Shes not attracted to you anymore, but still wants to occasionally talk to you when shes lonely, or when she has no one else to talk to, like youre a last resort. She doesnt want to have to miss talking to you, and talking to you will help her get over you faster/ She moved on from you already, so if you keep going along with answering her, she will get enough of talking to you eventually, because she knows you want to keep it going. In order to better yourself, you need to cut her of completely. Because talking to her this way will get you nowhere with her.
M2155 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 It's impossible for anyone to know what's in her head. Personally speaking, I would never be cutesy or flirty with someone I wasn't interested in on some level, but I wouldn't take it to mean anything because a lot of times, we just want to have someone we can be that way with. My guess, maybe she is lonely and doesn't have any prospects right now so the past good memories and cutsey stuff comes to mind. She's filling a void right now and once this gets boring or she finds someone she is interested in, it's goodbye. Sure it's possible she is coming back around but I agree with Eddie you just playing into it, she'll just keep toying around with you when she needs attention and probably not take it anywhere serious.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 Shes not doing the push pull thing, she is just curious of how you are doing . She probably just wants to make sure youre okay with the breakup. She doesnt want to be with you, but its hard to just cut off someone that didnt do you dirty. Shes not attracted to you anymore, but still wants to occasionally talk to you when shes lonely, or when she has no one else to talk to, like youre a last resort. She doesnt want to have to miss talking to you, and talking to you will help her get over you faster/ She moved on from you already, so if you keep going along with answering her, she will get enough of talking to you eventually, because she knows you want to keep it going. In order to better yourself, you need to cut her of completely. Because talking to her this way will get you nowhere with her. I forgot to add that she does get jealous of me around other girls. She does say she misses us and me. But she then says idk. I don't think its a matter of if she's over me or not. I think she is confused in terms of what she wants. Her personal life is really stressed. She also gets ancy if I don't respond to her text messages right away. I'm not trying to win her back, as much as I do want her back and as much as I still love her. Right now she wants to be alone so I'm respecting her choice. If she comes around then thats great but I'm not waiting for it...atleast that's what I'm trying to convince myself.... He exact words were that "i want to be on my own n i know i cant ask u to wait around. so idk, i guess well see in time" She also hates the thought of me with another girl or not talking to her at all.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 It's impossible for anyone to know what's in her head. Personally speaking, I would never be cutesy or flirty with someone I wasn't interested in on some level, but I wouldn't take it to mean anything because a lot of times, we just want to have someone we can be that way with. My guess, maybe she is lonely and doesn't have any prospects right now so the past good memories and cutsey stuff comes to mind. She's filling a void right now and once this gets boring or she finds someone she is interested in, it's goodbye. Sure it's possible she is coming back around but I agree with Eddie you just playing into it, she'll just keep toying around with you when she needs attention and probably not take it anywhere serious. I understand, that's why I'm keeping it LC and even NC for a day. I'm tired of her running me around in circles and yea I still love her but the way she is right now I'm not sure how I feel. But I know if she comes back or turns to her old self then I would take her back. She says "at the moment she does not have feelings" but she also says "idk whats going to happen in the future becuase I can't say". I'm not being her doormat and I sure as hell can't be her friend.
smokey bear Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 if you want to see if those feelings will come back you need to go NC.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 if you want to see if those feelings will come back you need to go NC. Thank you, thats exactly what I'm thinkin. I know talking to her will just wean her off me. Is it better if I just go nc without telling her or should I tell her first? I was thinking of not telling her and make her wonder. I never answered her question about what I'm up to. I have pictures of me with crowd of people laughing and I'm laughing to, I was thinking about posting that up to show her that I am happy and can have fun without her. She only uses facebook and AIM for me. She says she feels as if she'll always be alone and won't find someone else. Her problem now.
Eddie Edirol Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) I say dont tell her. Let her wonder. She wants to have your company but doesnt want the relationship, and doesnt want to see you with anyone else before she finds someone better. Thats why she gets jealous. She thinks she can do better than you, but doesnt want you (her safety net) to be happy and in a relationship before she is. Usually around here, the result is they never go back. She wants to be attracted to you again but you cant make that hapen when you keep talkin to someone you fell out of love with. I been there, and i know shes not confused, she knows he doesnt want you, but theres no one for her to go to right now, but shes looking. Thats why you need to go NC. Shes doing all this for her benefit, not yours. BTW she lies. She doesnt really want to be alone, she just doesnt want to be with you...she wants to be with someone else. She misses being in a relationship. if you can go NC and stick to it, more power to ya. She will say things to try to rope you in, but dont listen to anything she says unless she says she wants to try again. SHe needs a crisis in order to really make a decision. Also, to avoid disappointment, assume that she will not come looking for you, or that he wont tell you what you want to hear. Edited November 27, 2011 by Eddie Edirol
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 SHe needs a crisis in order to really make a decision. . That is true. However, yes she does want to be alone. She has so many stressors in her life that she can't get things in order. I'm really the only guy she talks to and basically the only guy around her. I'm hoping that when I'm gone it'll be a wake up call. Before the break up she was starting to get more physical then **** hit the fan when she got into a car accident (no injuries). If you read my other threads you'll find the story about that. The physical attraction is still there. I don't know about the emotional attraction since we havn't seen eachother in a month. I'm sure after NC when she sees that I'm changed and sees a different body shape then she'll realize. But right now I'm just so exhausted over this and ran out of patience. Like I said I know I still love but just got no more fight in my lol
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