laotzu Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 The height thing is bull****, D-List is spot on. Two co-workers who are 5'7" have smoking hot girls who are the same height, simply because they went out night after night until they found what they were looking for, and locked it down. I'd date either one of their girlfriends* (well, one of them for sure) and I'm six inches taller, more muscular, and probably better looking. It's not about height, it's about confidence and timing. (*I'm dating two people right now, so it's not like I'm dying. Just saying that one of them, in particular, is a long term potential for my CW.)
ScienceGal Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I'm exhausted, but here is some rambling to at least partially answer the original question... I'm single because I've spent a long time pouring emotions into the wrong guys rather than into myself. Because I am so piled up with emotional pain, that I don't even really know how to make good decisions anymore. I'm either completely walled up, or completely torn down. Because I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I'm depressed, frustrated and angry (with myself). Because I care too much and often find it hard to relax. Because I don't date enough and allow myself to meet different men. Because sometimes I lose hope and just give up.
Wolf18 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I'd say you just negated being "pretty confident" by even mentioning your height as an issue, It's not an issue for many of us women. I appreciate the encouragement D-Lish, but do you really think the average woman is willing to date a guy whose a few inches shorter than her? It's possible, like anything else in the universe, but I think a tall child molester with a blood soaked machete in his hands may just have a better chance. It's possible to be confident yet also realistic. I throw the net out and hit on a tall girl here and there, but it's always been an issue for them even if they just say so to their friends. When they're alone with their girlfriends the girls my height or taller tend to say... "If he was taller definitely", even the ones who aren't all that picky about everything else. It actually kind of blows because the girls who I've connected with the most have been kind of tall and that didn't stop me from trying in case I can hit the lottery, but it usually just gets me a one way ticket to the friend zone. Trust me, I've got a pretty thick skin and don't get hung up on it at all, perhaps there are some girls out there that don't mind but for a great majority it's an issue.
somedude81 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 The height thing is bull****, D-List is spot on. Two co-workers who are 5'7" have smoking hot girls who are the same height, simply because they went out night after night until they found what they were looking for, and locked it down. I'd date either one of their girlfriends* (well, one of them for sure) and I'm six inches taller, more muscular, and probably better looking. It's not about height, it's about confidence and timing. (*I'm dating two people right now, so it's not like I'm dying. Just saying that one of them, in particular, is a long term potential for my CW.) So going out night after night until they finally found a girl who liked them is a sign that the height thing is BS? Yeah...
Wolf18 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 The height thing is bull****, D-List is spot on. Two co-workers who are 5'7" have smoking hot girls who are the same height, simply because they went out night after night until they found what they were looking for, and locked it down. I'd date either one of their girlfriends* (well, one of them for sure) and I'm six inches taller, more muscular, and probably better looking. It's not about height, it's about confidence and timing. (*I'm dating two people right now, so it's not like I'm dying. Just saying that one of them, in particular, is a long term potential for my CW.) Where do you work again?
joystickd Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I'm still single because I'm making up for lost time. There's so many women I want to bang. All women that are single or with boyfriends. I got hurt really bad by a woman and it kind of destroyed my respect for relationships. I tried therapy but it didn't help. The only thing that helped was me not giving a sh*t. I just don't care about any relationship. I wish I didn't feel that way but I got so messed up I really don't respect much except honesty
runner Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 firstly, because i haven't made dating much of a priority in the last several months; prioritised getting some other business together instead, which is working fantastically for me. secondly, i'm being a hell of a lot more selective with whom i decide to couple up with; moreso than i ever have been. i feel like i have time to spare so i'm not rushing into anything. i'm happy to date casually for the moment, and wait for that special someone to truly knock my socks off someday. great thread, btw
Els Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Three reasons why: 1) 'Cause I wasted time. Seriously, in college I was so focused on the future and just having fun with friends, I never really considered dating. 2) The hours I worked. As a cop I was on a rotating shift and the training I went through required a lot of dedication and didn't leave much time for other things. 3)I just switched cities to Indy. This is the biggest reason. I don't know anyone here and looks like I'm going to be working the night shift. Ah well I'd rather be single than without a career and goals. I think it's great that you stuck out the cop work despite the personal sacrifices you have had to make for it. It's not the easiest thing to do, I'm sure. So going out night after night until they finally found a girl who liked them is a sign that the height thing is BS? Yeah... I think they were trying to point out that not all girls are obsessed about height. I am sure some are. Why would you want girls so superficial?
somedude81 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I think they were trying to point out that not all girls are obsessed about height. I am sure some are. Why would you want girls so superficial? If 95% of women are superficial about height and 5% aren't. Would it make any sense to not care about the ones that aren't?
Trimmer Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Choice. Been there, done that. Divorced parent with 2 kids, doing some casual dating for fun, but can't imagine getting into anything serious now.
somedude81 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Bah, can't edit my post. Meant to say, if 95% of women are shallow about height. Does it make any sense to not count them? Also, just because a woman might be fine with my height, doesn't mean there isn't something else about me she might not be OK with. Honestly, at this point I don't even really get mad anymore when I hear women say they prefer tall guys. I know it's something that they don't have any choice over. Just that when the vast majority of women say they want someone tall, it makes me hate myself. But I can't blame myself either since I didn't chose my height. So I can't blame women or myself. Where is all the anger and frustration supposed to go?
Jynxx Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I'm single because I'm not in a relationship. Being single has always felt like the default state for me.
wildtrac77 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I have issues. I havent really given myself a chance to be single in my adult life let alone date so I need to get used to that and be OK with being alone, meeting people without getting attached or expecting anything. I am single because I have to be right now. I keep getting scared that I will never find someone because of bad things that happened in the past. But i guess i need to just chill. The biggest mistake a lot of women make is letting the past destroy the future, anyone on your situation needs to work thru the issues (which sounds like you are) before they start dating again, we all have issues, its how you let them affect today and tomorrow is the difference, what has happened in the past is what makes you who you are today. Life is too short for regrets and you only get one shot at it.
Els Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Bah, can't edit my post. Meant to say, if 95% of women are shallow about height. Does it make any sense to not count them? Also, just because a woman might be fine with my height, doesn't mean there isn't something else about me she might not be OK with. Honestly, at this point I don't even really get mad anymore when I hear women say they prefer tall guys. I know it's something that they don't have any choice over. Just that when the vast majority of women say they want someone tall, it makes me hate myself. But I can't blame myself either since I didn't chose my height. So I can't blame women or myself. Where is all the anger and frustration supposed to go? Even if it is indeed 95% (and from my observation, it's significantly less - even the women who care a little about height only really care that the man isn't very much shorter, and at 5'6" you should be fine with most of these women)... yes. I like to see it as a screening process. You aren't just trying to impress women... you also want a woman to impress you. Does a woman who only wants a 6'0" man impress you? Perhaps it's just me, but people who focus on superficialities to the exclusion of all else (I wouldn't go so far as to call them 'shallow people', I guess) don't impress me at all.
The Outlaw Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I'm stubborn. I've been burned. Led-on, that sort of thing. Good enough for me to want to stay away for awhile.
El Brujo Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Women don't like guys who stay home and make things.
Nexus One Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 (edited) Because I'm currently focused on other things, but the day I'm finished with that, love will have my full focus. Edited November 28, 2011 by Nexus One
orion1010 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I'm single because - I spent too much time in LTR that I knew were not going to workout all through my 20's. Was almost never NOT in a LTR. - Would still see my ex and we broke up almost a year ago now. Been 1 month of no contact so far. - Afraid of starting something new and starting over. I'm really nervous about dating now. - Sometimes I'm too blunt and say things how they are and it scares men. - I'm 30 and keep attracting younger men because I look young and allow them in my life. Maybe because I'm afraid of something serious. ex: kissed a 23 year old this weekend and exchanged numbers even though I know I don't want a younger man. - In the past, men come on emotionally strong and fall hard at first and things burn off on their end and I become emtionally strong after a litte time. So I get insecure when the scales tip. - This is my first time living alone in my own place with no roommate in my entire life and I'm adjusting to who I am as a person without the safety net of not having a roommate/man to come home to. Talked to my psychiatrist about this and he said that I am the type of person that excels in life while committed but when alone, I withdrawl in life and I need to stop with the "what if's" because he things I ask that question to myself too much. Trying to work on that.
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