Sugarkane Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 With endless options these days, why this person? Why didn't you continue to date others? Just curious
punkinless Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 when you can no questions asked see yourself loving and being with them forever. threw bad and good. and you can never see yourself getting bored. i've explained it b4 as picturing life with them forever. if your not scared then you know. or you could put the lovely lady (in my case) next to meghan fox. if you don't choose the fox then you know.
Eeyore79 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 With endless options these days, why this person? This attitude that there are "endless options" is quite damaging imo, as it leads you to assume that you can always do better, and makes you less likely to commit to someone and settle down. It also makes you less likely to work on a relationship; if things don't go perfectly smoothly then you start looking for another one of these "endless options" instead of working on the relationship you've already got. There are not endless options; as you get older you'll find that people age and become less attractive, and they also accumulate baggage which, in some cases, is a turn-off. I've met quite a few nice guys who I'd have liked to date if we met 5-10 years earlier, but with their current baggage they aren't an option. As time passes the dating pool of desirable people becomes much smaller; the best ones are taken and the quality of person you're able to attract is reduced. The best strategy is to find a good partner while you're still relatively young and commit to making your relationship work.
Author Sugarkane Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 Eeyore- I agree with you but from my experience young guys just want to score. I always find that you could be Megan Fox, yet they still want to see what else is out there too. Nobody my age wants to settle down. They always seen to think that there's something better out there no matter what.
Author Sugarkane Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 Not many guys my age think I should keep this girl, or else I'll lose her. All they think about Is the sex without any emotion.
make me believe Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Sugarkane, how old are you? I agree that a LOT of young guys (and even not so young guys) these days have the attitude where they just want sex with whoever they can get it from & don't have an interest in relationships. I'm 28 and recently married, but in my early 20s when I was still dating I saw that kind of attitude from soooo many guys. It's so easy to hookup now that "endless options" (even though endless options are a myth as eeyore pointed out) has become what's desireable, and committing to one person is seen as settling. There are, of course, SOME guys out there who want relationships but I definitely agree with you that lots of them are always looking for the next girl they can bang..
Eeyore79 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 I agree with you but from my experience young guys just want to score. I always find that you could be Megan Fox, yet they still want to see what else is out there too. Yes, unfortunately young people often tend to be like that, though there are some good ones to be found. All I can recommend is that you hold off on having sex and wait until you're sure a guy isn't just using you. This strategy usually weeds out the men who only want sex, and if you keep looking you will eventually find one of those who genuinely want a committed relationship. If necessary, date slightly older men who may be more mature.
xxoo Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Why didn't you continue to date others? Just curious We wanted to spend all our time together. We had no desire to date others. We each tested the "dating others" option, in different ways, before committing to each other.....and it confirmed for each of us that we really just wanted each other. There is much more to knowing that this person is a compatible life partner, but we stopped dating others simply because we wanted to spend every day and night together. I think this kind of powerful magnetism is what people mean by "chemistry".
lordWilhelm Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 hi xxoo, what do you mean by "We each tested the "dating others" option, in different ways,"?
xxoo Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 hi xxoo, what do you mean by "We each tested the "dating others" option, in different ways,"? Well, we were young (late teens), and we weren't looking for "the one". I, especially, thought I "should" date others before getting serious. He was used to playing the field, and surprised himself when he no longer wanted to. We each tried to keep it casual, but our feelings grew more and more serious.
in_absentia Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 It's the oldest cliche in the book, but when you know, you know. I spent four years with my ex and we were so toxic for each other, I felt anxiety underriding the entire relationship, we had chemistry and were exclusive but never really on the same page about where we were headed. Met my current boyfriend as a friend, and from the moment he revealed his feelings for me (after we'd been sleeping together as friends for a couple of months) it just felt totally natural to be in touch with each other every day when he worked away, and then to move in together as soon as we could (3 months into the relationship). It just felt totally natural to want to be together and share a life together as soon as we could. With any other guy I'd have been wary of moving too quickly or coming on too strong, but he came on so strong first that I have never had any doubt over his feelings for me or what he wants for our future. It's really nice not to have to hold back on showing him how I feel or feel that marriage can't be discussed for an arbitrary timeframe. He made and makes it so clear that he loves me more than he's ever loved anybody and that we will be together for good, and I feel the same way the future cannot be predicted, but we talk about how it's gonna be when we're 80 with grandkids etc. and the thought of him being the only guy I'll be with for the rest of our lives isn't scary at all, it's awesome. I think it also helps that we both played the field before entering this relationship, have it out of our systems.
Spark1111 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 With endless options these days, why this person? Why didn't you continue to date others? Just curious You no longer want to. When you are happy, they are the first person you want to share it with. Same with sad, or mad, or tired, or joyous. You want to share all of it with this one person, and they want to share it all with you. About the sex: The one who WAITS for you to want them sexually is often the one who has the greatest respect for you and your needs.
norajane Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 With endless options these days, why this person? Why didn't you continue to date others? Just curious You no longer want to. That's how I feel. I have no interest in trying to (maybe, possibly, if I'm lucky) recreate with some new person what I already have right now with my guy. What would be the point of that when I already have the kind of relationship I value with a man I value?
lordWilhelm Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 There is much more to knowing that this person is a compatible life partner, but we stopped dating others simply because we wanted to spend every day and night together. I think this kind of powerful magnetism is what people mean by "chemistry". That's how I feel. I have no interest in trying to (maybe, possibly, if I'm lucky) recreate with some new person what I already have right now with my guy. What would be the point of that when I already have the kind of relationship I value with a man I value? I think these are really good ways of thinking about it.
Author Sugarkane Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 Just from reading the breakup forums, it scares me that you can be married for x amount of years and still be cheated on and dumped by text.
threebyfate Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 What makes you think they're "the one"? Because there's no way to improve on perfection!
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