motive2002 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 So after being blindsided, and dumped, and then NC... she texted me after 2 weeks.. letting me know "she was ok" and some stupid thing about something she got for her kitchen. I ignored it. On the one hand, I think if I ignore it, she will think I'm still frazzled, and why give her the satisfaction? On the other I think not texting back will send a message that I'm moving on. Let me know what you think.
punkinless Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 SHE texted YOU to say SHES ok? wow. and didn't ask how you were doing? personaly i would be short with her but if shes talkin about kitchen appliences she obviously wants to talk . . .
wildirishchick Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 I know exactly how you are feeling. My ex dumped me, I went NC and he contacted me about stupid stuff that had nothing to do with me anymore since we were BROKEN UP!!!! IMO it's her way of keeping you in her life...a little bit. idk...I'm probably not the best person to be commenting, since I have NO CLUE what my ex is doing!!! Would you do me a HUGE favor and help me with my question???? I'd greatly appreciate it. I posted my 1st post last night and have only received 2 comments.
Author motive2002 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 She said she was checking in, and hoped I had a good Thanksgiving. I guess that qualifies as asking how I'm doing? Perhaps it what she didn't say I should be more aware of... like she "misses me", but then if she didn't, why text at all? By the way Irish, I read your post. I'll re-read it and see if there's anything I can do.
Zabs Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 She is hoping to talk..but is it for her benefit or yours? Much love Zabs xx
BoredAgain Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Yeah, probably her way of trying to re-establish communication. Question is, why? Your best bet is probably to ignore it unless she makes her motivation a bit more clear. ...though, I'm no good at the NC thing. So you may want to ignore me.
Author motive2002 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 She is hoping to talk..but is it for her benefit or yours? Much love Zabs xx Good point
california15 Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 yep ignore. don't let her have her cake and eat it too - ya'll are broken up, but she gets to have you in her daily life like before. Usually a breakup implies "I don't want you to be a part of my daily life" I think staying in touch with her like that gives her an ego boost that even though its over, you're still answering
Author motive2002 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Posted November 29, 2011 Against my better judgement, I sent her a message. Sat on it for a day, then sent a tiny e-mail. Didn't say much more than I was busy and had a good holiday. A mere acknowledgement. Haven't heard anything back and probably won't. If she was expecting me to say I missed her, or how awful I felt or something more dramatic, then she probably was disappointed. I didn't ask how she was doing, or what she was up to. I really don't want to know. I don't feel a huge setback over this. It was nice that she came around and said something, although it was really nothing. Maybe she missed me. Maybe she wanted to assuage her guilt. Maybe she wanted me to explode over how badly she dissed me, so she could feel more justified in leaving me. Truth be told, I hadn't done anything wrong. Hadn't reacted badly. I kinda hope she feels like a creep. I don't feel like I was zoomed back to day 1 of the break-up (God, that would be awful) If anything I feel closer to indifference than I had before. But I still wonder what she is thinking. Which leads me to believe that the indifference still eludes me... for now. I guess for anyone following this thread, the idea I went with here was to acknowledge her contact without giving anything away. I think if I had ignored her completely, that would have sent a different kind of message. Like maybe I was still too torn up, or angry or something to even respond. I responded, but with an air of indifference, and not without at least waiting a day. I'm not on her string. I'm not still in love. I'm not angry or upset. I just don't care. .. but the truth is I still do care Wish me luck on my road to letting go.. to finding this indifference and letting this closed door open a window somewhere....
Author motive2002 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Just an update. After my cold acknowledgement to her text, I have not heard a peep since. Almost a month NC now. Not feeling super strong. Still having my bad days, but it's getting better.
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