Why Do Girls Give Out Their Number When Not Interested?

[spinaroonie]

One thing I've been noticing increasingly is the practice of girls giving you their phone number and then just not answering the phone, not answering text messages, and/or acting like the person on the other end is not alive.

 

It's mystifying - what is so hard about saying no. I'm a grown man and don't really care. I'm interested - if you aren't, that's not the first time, won't be the last and I'm probably better off.

 

Ladies, if you're not interested don't give him your number. Be considerate. Don't lead a guy on. Don't mislead him. Don't give him false hope. Don't string a guy along for attention and validation when you're not serious about him. Show some decency.

[spinaroonie]

 

there's no excuse 'to lead a guy on' but a woman who doesn't know you well has every right to get cold feet or go with her instinct. She has a lot a stake in making a wrong decision...all us guys get is our ego bruised.

 

The best strategy is to actually say "I'm not interested" or "I don't want to give my phone number out". Here's why:

 

• It isn't rude; it's honest.
  
• If they don't quite get it when you are crystal clear yet they persist in asking, they are either stupid, creepy, or have a tendency to disregard other people's boundaries. That's a good sign to avoid this person.
  
• If someone gets upset, offended, or angry at your refusal you just got yourself a firsthand look at how they handle disappointment. It's definitely best that they don't have your number in that case.
  

Although it happens all the time I never understand why anyone gives out their real number when they aren't interested in establishing at least some kind of contact. Stick to your guns and don't give people your number. It is really the only mature and adult option if you don't want someone to call you.

[Casablanca]

I HATE when women do this, it gives false hope, just tell me not interested...hell at least lie and say your seeing someone.

[joystickd]

That's why you give your number. If she is interested she will call. That way you won't be one of her many fans.

[jobaba]

For women who are being hit on by aggressive, unpredictable men, sometimes they will give their number out so he will leave them alone.

 

In my experience, it's happened to me more because:

 

1) You live in a big city and have SOMETHING in common and they think it is just platonic.

 

2) They are flattered.

 

3) They are trying to keep their options open and date guys who they are not generally attracted to, but change their mind later on.

 

By the way, women have gone on dates with me for all the above reasons too when not really interested.

[dasein]

The ones who do this have done you a favor. None of them are quality and this allows you to know this without spending much time or money.

[counterman]

My guess is to avoid confrontation. Let's face it, they don't know how the guy would react if they just said they weren't interested and I know some guys would create a scene or even go psycho. So, by giving you their number and ignoring you later, they avoid that face to face confrontation. HOWEVER, why not give a fake number? Or just make up a boyfriend? Personally, I would prefer it if they said straight up they weren't interested. Hell, I would even thank her for being honest. But all girls I have approached haven't been straight up with me, and I've gotten use to the swing of things.

 

What I do is I call ONCE and that's it. If she doesn't return my call, I've already moved on. I don't get my hopes up just because I got a number. It really means nothing to me until she shows active interest.

[PhillyDude]

One thing I've been noticing increasingly is the practice of girls giving you their phone number and then just not answering the phone, not answering text messages, and/or acting like the person on the other end is not alive.

 

It's mystifying - what is so hard about saying no. I'm a grown man and don't really care. I'm interested - if you aren't, that's not the first time, won't be the last and I'm probably better off.

 

Ladies, if you're not interested don't give him your number. Be considerate. Don't lead a guy on. Don't mislead him. Don't give him false hope. Don't string a guy along for attention and validation when you're not serious about him. Show some decency.

 

I heard of a girl being intimidated and giving out the WRONG NUMBER. But not giving her actual number because that would mean she is slightly retarded.

[ditzchic]

There's probably alcohol involved in 90% of these situations where you are asking for numbers. That explains a lot of it. Lots of bad decisions are made where alcohol is involved. Giving someone you're not really interested in your number is one of the more mild ones.

 

Shake it off. It's really nothing personal.

[almostbroken]

I dont understand why people in general cant be honest. Saying "I am not interested, sorry." OR if you're too timid and dont want to hurt feelings saying "Sorry, I am seeing someone. " is fine. BUT being on the other end. I have said I wasnt interested and the dudes hounded me ALL NIGHT LONG. "C'mon baby, why not? What can I do to make you interested?" In that case, can you blame us? Is it right to give out your # when you're not interested? Absolutely not. But most people are not as mature and understanding as you guys who posted above me. So kudos to the gentlemen out there.

But the answer to the original question: it's a misguided attempt to spare hurt feelings, in otherwords, avoiding a situation.

[phineas]

That's why you give your number. If she is interested she will call. That way you won't be one of her many fans.

 

I get her number then call her while she's with me.

 

But I only ask for a number if she shows a clear interest in me.

Usually i'll chat them up for a bit then move on.

 

Those interested in me will come find me later on.

They may not initiate talking but they will wind up standing in clear view close by.

 

Then i call them after the weekend.

If they don't pick up or call back?

I forget about them.

[joystickd]

I get her number then call her while she's with me.

 

But I only ask for a number if she shows a clear interest in me.

Usually i'll chat them up for a bit then move on.

 

Those interested in me will come find me later on.

They may not initiate talking but they will wind up standing in clear view close by.

 

Then i call them after the weekend.

If they don't pick up or call back?

I forget about them.

but the possibility stands that she could be using you for an ego boost. I just give mine because I prefer women to be more invested in me than I am in them.

[carhill]

It's not just 'girls' but rather also often their more 'grown up' counterparts as well.

 

'Why' is individual. Short of asking a direct question and getting a direct answer, which you likely never will get, anything presumed to be the reason is just that, a presumption.

 

Better to presume less and move on more, IMO.

Edited November 27, 2011 by carhill

[irc333]

That's why you give your number. If she is interested she will call. That way you won't be one of her many fans.

 

Nah, doesn't work, women really don't do it, because they think as a woman, it's not their role

[Casablanca]

Nah, doesn't work, women really don't do it, because they think as a woman, it's not their role

Not all women, but some, so you do lose out on some. For me there isnt much of a bigger turn on for me than when a woman takes the initiative to call me and ask me out.

[DearAbby]

Sometimes I give people my number because I am liquored up and it sounds like a good idea, but for reasons out of the persons control, I just change my mind. It could be that I realize they are not for me. Even though they are cute, or I wouldn't have given my number, there is something about them maybe career, or religion, or some deal breaker, I change my mind and can't overlook

[grkBoy]

One thing I've been noticing increasingly is the practice of girls giving you their phone number and then just not answering the phone, not answering text messages, and/or acting like the person on the other end is not alive.

 

It's mystifying - what is so hard about saying no. I'm a grown man and don't really care. I'm interested - if you aren't, that's not the first time, won't be the last and I'm probably better off.

 

Ladies, if you're not interested don't give him your number. Be considerate. Don't lead a guy on. Don't mislead him. Don't give him false hope. Don't string a guy along for attention and validation when you're not serious about him. Show some decency.

 

You're a grown man in a world of children.

 

I've honestly seen this. Grown adult males who rather than accept the rejection and move on, they'll either do the "no means try harder" approach, or simply turn into a bratty kid and call the woman a "cunt" or "slut".

 

Women hand out the number because it's the resolution that leads to the least conflict. They don't give out a fake number because the guy will immediately call to check if it's real. With caller ID she can vanish from the guy and he'll never reach her.

 

PLUS...a chunk of women hand out the number and are genuinely interested, but the next day they changed their minds. So you were the cute guy she met that night, but the next day she's saying "I don't know what I was thinking" as she sends you to voice mail.

[oaks]

It's mystifying - what is so hard about saying no.

 

I suspect it's because some guys don't take no for an answer, or don't take rejection well and the girl doesn't want to reject him when he's standing right there in front of her.

[Sweetheartt]

One thing I've been noticing increasingly is the practice of girls giving you their phone number and then just not answering the phone, not answering text messages, and/or acting like the person on the other end is not alive.

 

It's mystifying - what is so hard about saying no. I'm a grown man and don't really care. I'm interested - if you aren't, that's not the first time, won't be the last and I'm probably better off.

 

Ladies, if you're not interested don't give him your number. Be considerate. Don't lead a guy on. Don't mislead him. Don't give him false hope. Don't string a guy along for attention and validation when you're not serious about him. Show some decency.

 

Uh uh never ever give out my # to some random creeper. I got no prob at all saying NO!

[AHardDaysNight]

Because they don't want to face the idea of being murdered by a psychopath who doesn't take kindly to rejection.

 

Just blame the psychos out there for your troubles.

[Oxy Moronovich]

I HATE when women do this, it gives false hope, just tell me not interested...hell at least lie and say your seeing someone.

Doesn't also depend on the time you call them?

 

It happened to me twice when a woman gave me her number but didn't answer when I called. I later bumped into them and they said they thought I wasn't interested. They had given the number on Sunday but I called on Thursday.

 

It was the first time I realized women hate it more when you call too late than too early. They'd rather have you call them one day later than five days after you get the number.

[proactivedreamer]

There have been numerous times where I have given out my number to guys I would otherwise not take a second look at. Each situation, in my case, has been unique, but usually I do it because I don't want to reject the guy. I feel sorta guilty because I end up listing them under "Don't Answer", and sometimes they keep calling and calling. I usually say that I am seeing someone, but they ask if we could be "friends" this gets to be really annoying and they often don't get a clue, so I give out my number. I mean I get approached quite often, and sometimes I am caught off guard, and I don't know what to say or do. And sometimes, guys beg me for me for my number-I am not joking! What's a girl to do? Getting approached is flattering and all, but everyday? Sometimes, I just want sit at the bus stop, on the train, buy groceries, or read my book on a bench without being bothered.