laotzu Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Not trying to test the boundaries of TMI here, but I'm genuinely pretty curious. In general, I really enjoy both giving and receiving oral sex, and it was a huge part of the sexual relationship I enjoyed with my previous significant other. I've been dating someone on and off for the past couple of months, and it's coming to a definitive end - partially because of a lack of oral sex on her part. Do people view oral as too risky in a newish relationship, or are there people like me who - if they've decided someone is safe enough to have intercourse with - also decide that oral sex is worth the risk? Additionally, I really don't understand how sex "generally works", since most of the sex I've had has been with one person. Is it unreasonable to think that oral sex will nearly always be involved, either as a main course or as part of foreplay? That's the way I prefer things, but I don't know if that's unreasonable or not. This isn't the only reason I'm ending things, but it's part of it. In general I'm finding ending date-lationships to be psychologically draining, but my desire for something lasting is still pretty strong. I keep getting involved with people out of a sort of psychological hunger (i.e. loneliness) and ignore the logical part of my brain.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I would never be satisfied in a romantic relationship without oral, both giving and receiving. So I don't blame you one bit.
yamanbt Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I mean, in 2011, just about everyone who is sexually active engages in oral sex. A female who tells you she doesn't do that is (9 times out of ten) a bold-faced liar. That's why I look at it as a sign of disrespect if a woman doesn't want to do that for me. Women generally let their inner freak out of the cage for men whom they respect and/or are turned on by. BTW, the same goes for men. If the OP were female, I'd tell her the same, so it's not a sexist thing.
FitChick Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 This thread should be moved to the Sex forum.
Imageiko Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 A female who tells you she doesn't do that is (9 times out of ten) a bold-faced liar. That's why I look at it as a sign of disrespect if a woman doesn't want to do that for me. Women generally let their inner freak out of the cage for men whom they respect and/or are turned on by. haha I agree 100%.
Author laotzu Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 She says she likes it, she just doesn't "do it" without being asked. And in having to ask, it takes away from my desire to receive it. I don't perceive it as a "she's not into me" thing, because I've tried to break away from her once - and she took that very poorly. I think we just have different desires sexually, which sucks - but it is what it is.
oaks Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 This thread should be moved to the Sex forum. Maybe you already did this, but the "Alert us" button under the first post can be used to send that exact message to the moderator.
soulm8 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Mutual giving and receiving is definitely a factor for me. It's a form of rejection otherwise.
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