60 Day Update! I'm Baaaaaack ;)

[SugarLily]

Hello Darlings -

 

For those of you who are familar with my story - you may remember that I promised to take a break from loveshack for 60 days and then update you all on my 'break up progress'.

 

Well, here it is:

 

 

SO. Initially - after I was dumped, I was crushed. Emotionally, physically, everything hurt. I was so confused, I was looking for answers to questions that I would never understand. I felt so lost, and so alone. Some days were better than others - but fundamentally, I was broken. Nothing made sense anymore - I started to question everything.

 

Throughout this time, I spent alot of time alone. Partly through choice - partly by circumstance. I read alot of 'break up' books, hoping to heal faster. They helped in the sense that they were a temporary distraction - but the truth is that only time will heal you.

 

Day by day, slowly but surely, things got slightly easier. I found myself almost enjoying being 'alone'. I stopped asking (most) of the questions. I began to accept that there are some things that I will never understand. There are some things i'm not meant to understand. They're not my issues.

 

My 'recovery' hasn't been consistent. Some days I felt like complete sh*t. But I knew that was okay - that's part of the process.

 

Nothing in the world can ever prepare you for a break up. There's no logic in emotion.

 

But it's these times in our lives that actually present an opportunity. You either realise this and take advantage - or you don't, and it passes you by. You don't take anything from the experience - and your perspective of the world remains untouched.

 

I decided to take the opportunity.

 

I saw friends I hadn't seen in ages - I started applying for jobs. And guess what? I got a job! I'm totally employed right now! For those of you who know me - you'll know how much this means to me!

 

Getting a job has been one of the most amazing experiences. I love meeting new people and building relationships - it took me way out of my 'comfort zone' - and I love it!

 

Right after I got a job - my 'ex' made an appearance back in my life. He got very emotional - told me he loved me, wishes he had never left me etc. etc.

 

STOP! DO NOT read this and think 'Ohhh great! Her ex did it - mine might too!'.

 

You do NOT want your ex back. If the person you have offered everything to cannot appreciate how entirely amazing you are - they will only ever hold you back.

 

Love isn't real unless you loved your ex for the person they are - not the person you wanted them to be.

 

So where does my life stand right now?

 

 

Well - I'm together again. I'm not 'me' again - but i'm getting there.

 

I feel like my life is going in a positive direction - because I made it. I took the opportunity to better my life, better myself and work for the future.

 

To everyone who is hurting right now - know that you ARE moving forwards. If you maintain NC (cannot stress the importance of this enough) then you ARE moving forwards. Day by day, no matter how you feel - you are moving forwards just by existing. You won't realise it - but you are.

 

And that's what is so beautiful - you are healing. Time is healing you, time is healing your heart.

 

All you need to do is focus on the future.

 

Now is the time to focus on who you WANT to be.

 

When you become who you are, you attract the right kind of people to your life.

 

I have a job with wonderful people. And I am so beyond lucky - I appreciate this opportunity with all of my heart.

 

Me and my 'ex' hang out sometimes. I enjoy his company - but my heart is with me now. My heart is in my future. I'm learning to love myself. Even with my flaws.

 

And more importantly, i'm thinking about who I want to be.

 

One quote that has really helped me is:

 

'Realise that in 100 years, you and your ex will be dead, and nothing you ever fought about will be remembered'.

 

It's easy to lose perspective in a break up. Often we are so overwhelmed with emotion - we lose the means to think. To understand. To know.

 

 

To everyone who is reading this - do you know how lucky you are?

 

You are ALIVE.

 

Life is the biggest gift you could ever have been given.

 

Life = Opportunity.

 

 

You should be excited! You can do anything you want to do, be anyone you want to be. You are free.

 

 

To everyone is hurting - I'm genuinely sending you all of my love.

 

 

To everyone who has supported me on loveshack - words cannot express how much I adore you. I love you.

 

 

x x x

[mike588]

Hey, So glad your back and things are going great for you. I was thinking about you yesterday.

[sardeen]

Reading things like this inspires me and helps me feel better.

 

That quote about a hundred years also hit me hard because I recently thought about the same thing.

 

For instance, I went through so much crap in high school and thought I would never be happy. Then a few years later, I pushed myself out of that slumber by joining clubs and challenging myself. Those steps led to me keeping a job longer than a few months, almost two years with my current and I soon realized that I am a good person. This transition helped me find my ex, who also showed that I could get a girl to love me and more importantly, get in her pants.

 

I know now that with or without someone in my life, I still am that remarkable person and that this moment will be just a distant memory if I give it time.

 

Thanks for the inspirational post and all the best!

[Damia]

Inspiring post.Thanks for sharing it's great to read positive things happening to good people

[Buttercup84]

Yaaaayy ! I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are . I have missed you ! I am so proud of you , you have come so far . xxx

[sunflower11]

I love the quote and your whole post brought tears to my eyes Thanks for sharing

[nyckidd]

Great post, I'm glad your healing!!

[leoc1973]

Hey thanks for coming back that post was so inspirational! I am glad that my 100 years quote helped you! I sometimes wonder if anything I reply to on here is taken seriously at all but I guess that one did. Actually when I was really down and depressed My little brother told me that. He worded it a little different more like who cares you will be dead in 100 years so I looked at it a little differently. So where do things stand with your ex now? is it just hanging out or more like getting back together. Don't worry I will not use it to hope for my ex to come back. I don't even want her back. I still am quite sad but I am getting over the hump. Thank you so much for coming back and updating us. Usually when someone stops posting on here you think they went on to become some kind of homeless person living in the gutter drinking cheap wiskey from the bottle. LOL almost like their breakup ruined them forever. It would be nice if lots of people came back to tell us how great they are doing! I am really happy for you! I'm sure we all are!!!