jobaba Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) So, anybody who has seen me post here knows I'm a proponent of being open to the option of dating someone they do not find physically attractive, probably to the point of being pedantic. The only problem is I haven't dated all that much to see how that works. I've been dating this woman who I like a lot of things about, but we're very different. We hung out with mutual friends a few times and I asked her out after a while. The very first couple of times we hung out one on one, there was a lot of making out and physical contact. Mutual physical attraction, right? Lately, I've turned up the charm, and she really seems to be falling for me. She's already said some pretty mushy things about me. Things were going well. Then, after some drinks, she dropped the bomb on me. She said that when she first met me, there wasn't a great deal of physical attraction, but that my personality and charm totally turned her. I'm forever lamenting about the inability of women to be turned by the charm and personality of men they have no physical attraction to. Now, that I've finally got it to happen, it's not what I expected. Some thoughts... 1) It is possible to turn around a woman who has no strong initial attraction to you. I guess I now belong in the exhibit case. Afterwards when I talked to her, she said she thinks I'm a good looking guy but there was just not that real strong initial attraction. Sounds like softening the blow a bit. 2) I didn't expect it, but it really s@cks. I felt kind of sick when she told me. Not only is it a big blow to the ego, it kind of redefines my opinion of our relationship. I'm thinking of ending it. 3) Phrasing means everything. Were I to be in the reverse role with a woman asking what I initially thought of her (haven't), I'd say, "Yeah, I thought you were pretty cute." even if I had no attraction to her. If she had presented the information to me in that manner, it would have been a non issue. It's occurred to me that women rarely directly call men unattractive or ugly. I probably can't think of too many instances where it's happened to me other than women rejecting me and me pushing them for the reason. Having it happen is always a bigger deal than I think. Opinions from people have been in similar situations? Edited November 26, 2011 by jobaba
MaxNoob Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I've been there. With one girl, I went from friend zone, to "get away from me you creep" zone, back to friend zone, then completely in love with me.
Freddys Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 I've been there. With one girl, I went from friend zone, to "get away from me you creep" zone, back to friend zone, then completely in love with me. This sounds interesting, details please!
Author jobaba Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) No opinions? Am I overreacting in general and being too spineless? Edited November 27, 2011 by jobaba
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