leftfordead Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) We dated for 4 years and were just talking about getting married. She left me for some guy and actually wound up marrying him not even 2 months later. This only happened a couple of months ago and my wounds are still fresh? But right now I am at that stage of trying to never look back and get her back at the same time. Do dumpers who are cheated on always/most likely go back to the person they just dumped if they themselves were cheated on? Edited November 26, 2011 by leftfordead
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Sounds like a rebound marriage (which is pretty serious but only shows her lack of sense) Or she's been talking to this guy and fooling around long before 2 months...sorry to say but of course I don't know but it fits the story if you marry someone that fast that there is some past history or it was longer It depends on the type of relationship though...were you the passive type that kinda got walked over and did what you could to make her happy? if that's the case it's possible she just needed and ******* in her life to emotionally slap her around a bit and that's what she'll get. Also if you are this guy it is possible after he crushes her that she will run back into your arms for security and comfort because you're always there, however this will likely only be a temporary situation until she forgives said ******* even though she said she never wants anything to do with the guy again. At any rate, it is a lose lose for you all the way around, you want to be more hurt than you already have been? then sure go ahead and get caught up in her life and drama if it present itself..I hope you won't try and interfere at this point though and respect the marriage for your own dignity. Be the bigger man I would say, take the hit of emotional pain. Work on yourself, buy some nice clothes, get in better shape, take up a new hobby...focus on something else, and yourself and your own issues, get yourself together then go find another hot mamasita. However if you do the complete opposite of what we know is right like all of us have...I completely understood, so good luck.
Author leftfordead Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 Sounds like a rebound marriage (which is pretty serious but only shows her lack of sense) - Not sure what you meant by 'pretty serious'. Can you explain? I know for a fact she only knew this guy for two weeks prior to breaking up with me. So when they got married, they knew each other for 2.5 months. She was still seeing me 2-3 days a week and we went away with one another 3 weekends, no sex, and she was still very affectionate and declined seeing anybody. And saying she didn't want to be in a relationship. She was using me basically so she could still take these trips, dinners, etc. I was basically guilty of working too much. I was working about 100 hrs per week at the time. She hit a wall after 3 years and couldn't wait for things to change anymore and began to drift away from our relationship. I actually understand this part. And I understand her breaking up with me for that. I was finally able to change jobs and now I only work 40 hours per week making more than twice the money. This gives me the time and the money to do the things she always wanted to do instead of just doing the things I wanted. I was stressed, tired etc. She is an active girl. I just didn't have the energy to keep up with her. What I don't understand is her dishonesty and deceit and how she went about everything to the point where she marries somebody that she doesn't know. I was always there when she needed me though. At the time, I just couldn't be that 'buddy' she always wanted to do the active things she loves. I am that person, I just couldn't because of work. I am putting these things back into my life, not for her but for me. I have only seen her once a month ago. She showed up to see me. But I just said hi and bye. She thought I was going to be there again the following day and she showed up again but I didn't go. She was asking a lot of questions about me. So I have basically been NC for 2 months now, since I found out she was seeing this guy. So if she does get in touch with me. I don't know how I should react. My wounds are still fresh and I am still in love with her believe it or not. But the trust issue is a huge thing to get past. I don't know what she will do and don't know what to do myself.
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