sadpanda87 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I've been with my girl for 4 years. I finished uni and got into a job that would provide her with everything... the pay, the opportunity to travel. Everything in my life was about her. We've done long distance from time to time due to study and work commitments. It's only been a month since i started this new job and i moved away to a different city. She decided to go work overseas and two weeks later she told me she had no feelings for me anymore and we should break up. I just dont understand, we were good together and we had the intention to get married. we even made plans to live together once i've settled in my new job. why would she just throw it all away? i'm very lost, im alone in a new city with no friends or family to support me. my source of motivation just decided to give up on what we have built up over the years. i dont know what to do.
fenderjames Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Hi Sad . I read your post . I too feel very lost in this world right now . I can't really say anything to truely make you feel better - other than you are not alone on this website . The ppl here are mostly very kind and empathetic . Many of them are hurting deeply as you are ( and myself ) . I found this site in October and have been on it every day at some point . Stay strong , and once again friend - you are not alone ok ? Cheers
Veryconfused12345 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Hi Sadpanda, So sorry to hear about what you're going through, I'm in a similar situation after reconfiguring my entire life around my ex so we could start a life together. Two days after starting at a new job, he dumps me and tells me I didn't love him enough. If you're anything like me right now you're ranging from intense periods of missing her/pining after her, anger, confusion, and the sense of being totally lost. First of all, let me tell you that a year from now you're going to look back on this and maybe not feel completely over this, but at least hugely distanced from the hurt you're experiencing now. Why did she throw this all away? Sometimes it can be easier to emotionally shut down (if only temporarily) then to deal with the pain of doing long distance. It sounds like you are a wonderfully supportive bf and it's that loyalty that makes you such a good catch. We're all here online because we feel equally lost. I know that gut wrenching feeling of coming home at the end of the work day and feeling emoty. But from personal experience, I have every faith that someone like you (you sound like a really sweet guy) will find a supportive loving relationship again and when that happens, you're going to see this situation in a different light.
iPhone Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Everything in my life was about her. I'm afraid that that was most likely the problem, brother. I once heard a good analogy: girls are like cheerleaders, and you a [insert sport] player. They want to cheer you on while you reach your goals. They don't want you running over into the sidelines to them. I say you just do your best to meet as many people in the new city as you can. Treat the next girl (or this one if she comes back) with respect, but don't make them the center of your life. Keep your eye on the goal, not the sidelines.
Downtown Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 iPhone, welcome to the LS forum. I've found all your posts to be very insightful -- a breath of fresh air, actually.
Author sadpanda87 Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 thanks for the kind words. the problem with me - and i've been told by my best friend - is that i take relationships too seriously. i try with everything to make sure my partner is happy and i do right by her. i've read some of the things on LS and i guess im not doign NC very well... i still try to contact her every waking hour and try to talk some 'sense' into her. i dont think i can handle cutting her out of my life... i sat there for almost an hour remembering things we've done together and said, and now it just feels empty.
sadbh Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Hi Sadpanda, Im so sorry this has happened to you. I feel your pain as my situation was very similar; 5 years, built my life around him, all my goals aimed to make 'our' life better, spent every day with him, future planned together, went through some big changes in both our lives, and then one day it all just disappeared out of the blue. Its really hard to take and I know that lost feeling you're talking about. You had a very specific plan for your life and now its like the slate has been wiped clean. Its going to be hard for a while. You need to take some time to grieve and be sad but don't let this take over your life. It sounds like you've got alot going for you right now and your new job and new city are a great opportunity for you to reinvent your life. So when your ready throw yourself into your new job, make some new friends, explore the city and find things you're happy doing without her. You need to realise that your life is YOURS and you can be happy without depending on someone else to give that happiness to you. Good luck and remember you're not alone and it does get better whether you believe it or not. I didnt believe it either at first.
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