yello243 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) I have so many pictures, videos, and things that we shared while we were in a relationship for the past almost 6 years. He was the only guy i have ever been with. Now that it is over what did you do with all these memories? What do you recommend, do i throw everything away, and delete everything or do i just put everything in a box and store it away? It is so hard to throw away every single photo and memory we shared its really hard. How does this part of the healing process work? Anybody? What did you do with these things when your relationship ended? Also, how did you get over your first love i feel as though i never will? Do you ever get over a first love and be truly healed? Should i just get rid of every single thing that reminds me of him including photos and such? How can i stop holding on to the hopes of ever getting back together? Any advice greatly appreciated. Edited November 26, 2011 by yello243
iPhone Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I'm afraid you have to throw everything away, delete everything, etc. As for how the healing process works... it just takes time. Getting over my first gf was a true trauma for me. But you do get over them. One day at a time. You start to see the good in other areas of life, but you have to go through a dark period first. It's hard, but you come out stronger. Don't run from the pain, you have to face it. But delete all the pics and what not, though.
Author yello243 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 Thank you so much for the feedback. Its so hard to erase and throw away every memory that we shared. I feel that as long as it stays there i will be holding on to hope, it will always bring back hope that maybe in the future we will meet up again. Your right getting rid of all will help with the healing process. I have never been with anyone else so this is extremely difficult i feel as though i will never get over this relationship and over him.
Mcnulty Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I chucked everuthing in the bin, but that's because she cheated and lied to me. It depends on the break up circumstances. if it wasn't too ugly a break up, you may want to put them in a box. Please don't keep anything on show, as it will only remind you. First love...ah I remember...yes, definitely you can and will get over it, i promise...time and patience and being kind to yourself.
Author yello243 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 Thank you, i know if i keep all of the things it will hurt, i guess what i want to know from someone elses' perspective is, will i ever in the future be able to look back at the photographs and videos and not be hurt by it? Gosh its so hard to let go we were so close and our families everything i can't believe we are over. I feel i will never get over it specially since every single thing place i go reminds me of him. We didnt have a nasty break up his circumstances just drove us away from each other, his job, distance, military lifestyle etc, Kind of complicated. Anyway, going NC and its tough but i think the best i can do is just hold on to maybe one photograph so in the future when i am older and look back i at least have a pic of what my first love looked like right? Am so confused.. holding all these memories only make it worse.
notfunny Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 throw it..you dont need them.. i threw all mine photos, gifts..etc. and trust me i had plenty of them..Its hard to to throw them away but yep..thats what you got to do
fenderjames Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Garbage . All of it . I took ALL the clothes she bought me ( birthdays, christmas last year ) to the Salvation Army . I got rid of everything she ever gave me . It doesnt stop the hurt, but it removes the " trigger " thoughts . Its all gone , I have regrets , thats not one of them . Good luck to you .
Author yello243 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) thank you all again, its hard to have the courage to do it, i started getting rid of some things and although it was difficult, it was quite a relief. Its complicated when i am throwing stuff out,my grandmother specially she tries to pick it up after me she feels i will regret what i am doing, because getting rid of things due to anger, and hurt does not make it better, she said to me just to put everything in a box or something and she will store it away for me because life makes many turns and i wouldn't want to feel bad about it later on if we do end up together again. But this i do not know, i do not want to hold on to those feelings i just want to focus on the present and really try to move on. I have so many other things to get rid of and just the thought of having to touch them and look at them one last time before i throw them out brings back more heartaches. I just know although we shared a lot, its over and that is that, no point in holding on to something or else i will never heal. So everything goes thanks you guys. Its hard to hold on to the smallest object because it holds so many memories. I also feel as though i wont find anyone else or anyone better is this normal ? Edited November 26, 2011 by yello243
mike588 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 thank you all again, its hard to have the courage to do it, i started getting rid of some things and although it was difficult, it was quite a relief. Its complicated when i am throwing stuff out,my grandmother specially she tries to pick it up after me she feels i will regret what i am doing, because getting rid of things due to anger, and hurt does not make it better, she said to me just to put everything in a box or something and she will store it away for me because life makes many turns and i wouldn't want to feel bad about it later on if we do end up together again. But this i do not know, i do not want to hold on to those feelings i just want to focus on the present and really try to move on. I have so many other things to get rid of and just the thought of having to touch them and look at them one last time before i throw them out brings back more heartaches. I just know although we shared a lot, its over and that is that, no point in holding on to something or else i will never heal. So everything goes thanks you guys. Its hard to hold on to the smallest object because it holds so many memories. I also feel as though i wont find anyone else or anyone better is this normal ? 100% Completely normal to feel like you wont find anyone else or anyone better,,, you WILL. It's a learnig and growing experience that we ALL have to go thru. If you don't feel like throwing it all away,pictures etc. then put them in a box and stick it in the attic, store in at your parents house, somewhere. Down the road after you have healed you can look at it again in a different light,, you may be so VERY HAPPY with someone else (it will happen) and it wont bother you at all.
Casablanca Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 throw it..you dont need them.. i threw all mine photos, gifts..etc. and trust me i had plenty of them..Its hard to to throw them away but yep..thats what you got to do This is what I do, BUT I do not throw away things that are personaly/lovey dovey. I have a couple awesome framed pictures of sports and stuff given as a gift, movies, clothes etc that Im not gonna get rid of.
fucpcg Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I have saved every photo from every relationship. I will never deny myself the memories of women I have card deeply for. She may be gone, but they were memorable times together, memories to keep and cherish. Everything in life is an experience, the only thing that remains constant is change. I've never loved a woman that I don't still have feelingd for today, she may be gone, but the love isn't.
sardeen Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 The hardest thing was taking a picture from my wallet that showed the two of us kissing and putting it into a box. I have kept her notes and letters in a box, just for the memories. That is just what I want to do, even though I am sure she got rid of everything I gave her. It may be weird to some, but I do not want to forget someone who turned me from a loner that pushed everyone away to a loner that actually wants to make connections. We may never see each other, but at least I can remember the happier times in my life and remember that I can achieve such happiness, by opening up more.
Damia Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I have kept everything but put it away out of sight. After 25 years together and only 1 single I don't feel that doing something rash like destroying everything would be wise. when I have healed and moved on I will decide what memories to keep.
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