Author lilyblue Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 Yep, that sucks. The holidays can be one big vortex anyway, but historical milestone days with one's ex can put an especially dark spin upon it. That said, we have choices. Accepting how we feel and acting to move forward in a positive way. Last year, for example, my D was final about a month prior to Thanksgiving and my mom had died about a month prior to that. So, accepting that things felt pretty shytey, I accepted an invitation from some friends on the other side of the country to join them for Thanksgiving. I just got back from there again yesterday after having a wonderful time. New thoughts, new feelings, new 'traditions'. The old is there, valid and relevant, but it doesn't have to rule. Life is imperfect. TBH, I have a hard time remembering when my exW's BD is and I gave her my all on it for a decade. That's what moving on is like. Best wishes to you on your journey. Wow, that sounds like a rough last year. Sorry you had to go through all that at once. Sounds like you found a good way to cope with the holiday and getting yourself out of the situation. I've been to my hometown twice in the past 3 weeks and both weekends have been spent crying basically the whole time. I hope things improve by Christmas. Congrats on moving on, impressive. Thanks for the thoughts.
mike588 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Same here - we talked all the time (actually mostly he brought it up) about how great it was that our timing had finally worked out. He was in a good spot, I was single, etc, etc. Lies!! He wasn't in as good of a spot as it seemed. I don't know if it helps you, but it does help me a little to think that they at least feel guilty. They better. I really wish my ex. no ill will,no harm etc. But I agree with you on the guilt thing. Being there before,during and after her surgery then dumping me 2 weeks later just wrecked me,the betrayel,lies etc. Yes I also felt that the timing was perfect,like finally I met the right woman, a friend from the past,we had so much in common,we talked,laughed about the 'old days", I always liked her from back in the day and thought my prayers were answered. Little did I know she was an angel in disquise. Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,but love is only special when you give it to who it's worth.
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