audiojunky Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 My girlfriend loves to text message. Just recently I found out that she picked it up from a previous relationship in which the two of them had way too many problems to work out. Finding that out kinda bugged me. I was never into text messaging to begin with but I kind of fell into trying it when we first got together. I think that sometimes it really creates problems and it is often a real cheap and impersonal way of saying hi to each other. She tends to text message me when she is with friends or with groups, and even sometimes by herself. I tell her sometimes that I wish that she could just pick up the phone and call me and she seems to think of it as inconvenient when she is around others. Sometimes I enjoy getting the text messages but other times I feel like it is somewhat of an excuse for her to not call me and have a conversation with some sort of substance. Now we are not even in the same city for a while. Since she has been gone we have probably not had a phone conversation that has lasted longer than 10 minutes, but I get enough text messages a day to make me wonder what she would do if I told her I wanted to hear from her by voice rather than text from now on. She knows that I get texts and they will show on my phone the minute she sends them - but I feel like I want to ignore them until she calls. What should I do? I want to establish our time to talk with each other rather than me succomb to what is always most convenient for her. I think things were better when we didn't text so much.
magda Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 tell her you don't like pushing all the buttons. reply very short if necessary or reply with "call me to talk". If she doesn't get a response she'll contact you by other means to adapt.
Papillon Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 <SMS> A txt msg is a nice way 2 let sum1 know ur thinkn abt them, without disturbing them or forcing urself into thr thoughts. </SMS> Seriously - sms's shouldn't take the place of proper communication, but they have their value - especially if you live in a country where local phonecalls are not free.
a_passionate_leo Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 Sounds like there's an in-person communication problem to begin with. So the relentless texting isn't the problem, it's a symptom of the problem. You However, maybe she just likes being texted, and wishes you would text her more spontaneously. So she tries to initiate it by texting you, inadvertantly turning you off. Perhaps it makes her day when she gets a little mushy note from you letting her know that you're there with her on your mind. Maybe it makes her happy. Is it really that bothersome to put up with the minor inconvenience if it makes her feel good? Have you considered any of that? Regardless, if you want the texting to stop, when she texts you don't text a reply; call instead. If she doesn't actually want to speak to you at those times, she'll eventually stop going overboard on the texting since she wont be getting the type of response that she wants. Good luck. And work on your communication problems with her.
tiki Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6-7 months and we text each other CONSTANLY. It's almost sad, lol. We see each other usually 7 days per week but we text each other while we are at work mostly. I can log on via the internet and type a message and send it. His poor self has to type these out on his little phone. We send about 800 a month. And I know that's really sad, pitiful and overboard but what makes it even more sad is that that's just going on while we AREN'T together. And keep in mind we spend major time together. We go thru phases and sometimes I wanna cut back a little, and we do. But then we start back again. But I do love it. And we wouldn't have it any other way. We get to communicate all day without phones ringing off the hook.
Pyrannaste Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 I agree with papillon here A txt msg is a nice way 2 let sum1 know ur thinkn abt them, without disturbing them or forcing urself into thr thoughts. and with a_passionate_leo when she says that However, maybe she just likes being texted, and wishes you would text her more spontaneously. So she tries to initiate it by texting you, inadvertantly turning you off. Perhaps it makes her day when she gets a little mushy note from you letting her know that you're there with her on your mind. Maybe it makes her happy. Sometimes when I'm not sure it would be okay calling my bf - he might be busy, he might be watching something on tv, it is lunch time, he is out with friends/relatives- I'd send him a text message, so he does not have to interrupt talk/activities/work by answering the call and he can read the text when he likes, or when he has time. Also, some people like to send/receive sms instead of calling because it's a nice thought you have there laid out for you to keep, to re-read at leisure ...verba volant, scripta manent. (Words Disappear, What Is Written Stays)
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