Author FitChick Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 sports/activities (less physically active than the sports they listed - eg 'yes I used to cycle 3 years ago but not since I moved to London'), where they lived (and London is a huge place with slow travelling options, so it makes a difference if you're on opposite sides) Many middle aged men want to appear macho so I see "skydiving, mountain climbing, skiing," etc., in their profiles. Turns out the last time they did anything like that it was one time twenty years ago on holiday with the ex-wife and kids. Now they channel surf (TV, not English). I don't understand someone not wanting to travel if they found the perfect person for them. I don't care where in the world Mr. Right is. I've had men travel thousands of miles to meet me. That way I know they are serious and not just out for a laugh.
Optimus_Rhyme Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 looking at this thread and seeing how cynical people appear to be is one of the reasons i've almost stopped trying altogether to meet women online/offline. Im on POF at the moment (23yr old) and about 80% or more of the women in my age range dont even have the chance to lie about about their profile because it has no content but tons of pics! it's hilarious but quite sad.
irc333 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Many middle aged men want to appear macho so I see "skydiving, mountain climbing, skiing," etc., in their profiles. Turns out the last time they did anything like that it was one time twenty years ago on holiday with the ex-wife and kids. Now they channel surf (TV, not English). I don't understand someone not wanting to travel if they found the perfect person for them. I don't care where in the world Mr. Right is. I've had men travel thousands of miles to meet me. That way I know they are serious and not just out for a laugh. Well, don't get me wrong, I've seen a random skydiving (Tandem) as one of their pictures in their online dating profile.....me...I'd never do that. LOL
irc333 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 looking at this thread and seeing how cynical people appear to be OH Indeed! Lately, I've been seeing profiles of the most bitter/demanding spinsters on these dating sites for the past few years. Typically, they start off as a garden variety write-up, but then......they start to BLOG about their agony of the kind of men that had been emailing them...same thing you see in these forums...but in their profile. There's this one I keep saying, I swear...she even wants to have children....but, any man who would marry her, would probably wind up slitting his wrists if he spends a few years in matrimony with her. "You must be this" or "Don't email me if... that" One woman said, "Please, if you're corny....do not contact me, if you can't make me laugh, don't bother emailing me!" Um, define "corny". Another thing, like the example of "Corny" they typically write things where....well....they expect you do be something that's only definable in THEIR eyes. "Please, be handsome when you contact me!" A person making demands in THIS fashion, is a red flag. One said, "I expect a man to spoil me and keep me pampered, my friends say that I'm spoiled, which is true. I can't stand the outdoors, and I dislike the beach, so don't take me there...." I am actually suprised someone can type that up, and not feel any shame about how miserable they are and/or sound when they write up this profile. Another even admitted to saying how she bores easily, so you better keep her interest" iLike I said, sometimes their profile turns into a seriously BITTER blog about how bad things have gotten for them since they've been on the site for a year. A lot of "You better be this or that when you contact me!!" I think these are the people who are socially inept, and would opt out of any kind of real life human interaction, chances are they probably have no real close friends, and when they run errands, they avoid men who try to talk to them. (just a theory though) Yet, a guy like ME emails them, they ignore me....go figure.
Optimus_Rhyme Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 OH Indeed! Lately, I've been seeing profiles of the most bitter/demanding spinsters on these dating sites for the past few years. Typically, they start off as a garden variety write-up, but then......they start to BLOG about their agony of the kind of men that had been emailing them...same thing you see in these forums...but in their profile. Yet, a guy like ME emails them, they ignore me....go figure. Unfortunately, the way things are, woman have the power when it comes to dating, online and off, and they know it. I dont know how old you are but if you did the same thing and wrote down a huge list of expectations, i can guarantee you that you would get message of women. However, they wouldn't be quality women, just ones who would want to prove a point or see as a challenge.
Casablanca Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Yet, a guy like ME emails them, they ignore me....go figure. These are typically the girls in real life that we all know who continually go for the bad guy, jerk, prep jock type and get burned EVERY TIME, but keep going back to that type and then whine and cry and complain about how they cant find a good guy
Art_Critic Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 From years ago when I was doing OLD I couldn't tell you who did it more but when I would catch a woman lying it was almost always about age and weight and the lies were never just a year or 2.. I had seen many women remove 10+ years from their age and when called on it then said they would only attract older men so they lowered their age to snag someone younger or closer to their own age.. The weight was also up to 100+ lbs removed from their real weight... In each case of lying the pictures also were not up to date.. they were at least 10 years old... This was not very often that I saw this type of lying.. it was only a few times in the years I did OLD.. I will say though that I did selective filtering of profiles that looked phoney, like an escort/prostitute, otherwise maybe fake or the lies were obvious and just deleted those from my searches.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I never wrote that stuff in my profile. I just pulled down my pictures and started emailing the men myself. easy sneezy
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I had seen many women remove 10+ years from their age and when called on it then said they would only attract older men so they lowered their age to snag someone younger or closer to their own age... I've been tempted to do this... Not 10 years, but five, for sure. I got tired of getting spammed by much older men and wanted to be considered by men MY OWN AGE. It really grossed me out to get emailed by men old enough to be my dad. But enough whining I'm sure I've said this enough times and in enough places. Other ladies here have said the same thing.
Art_Critic Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) I've been tempted to do this... Not 10 years, but five, for sure. I got tired of getting spammed by much older men and wanted to be considered by men MY OWN AGE. It really grossed me out to get emailed by men old enough to be my dad. But enough whining I'm sure I've said this enough times and in enough places. Other ladies here have said the same thing. Funny thing too is that I get it.. I understood their position and even sympathized with them.. but.... each one of them never got contacted by me ever again.. if something starts out as a lie then things are only going to get worse..IMO... I dated one girl for about 5 months even after I forgave a lie she told about never being married, she did admit to the lie about a month after getting to know her.. I didn't care that she had been married before.. but I did care that she lied about it.. she would also occasional lie IRL while dating her about stuff.. Edited November 26, 2011 by Art_Critic
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Funny thing too is that I get it.. I understood their position and even sympathized with them.. but.... each one of them never got contacted by me ever again.. if something starts out as a lie then things are only going to get worse..IMO... I dated one girl for about 5 months even after I forgave a lie she told about never being married, she did admit to the lie about a month after getting to know her.. I didn't care that she had been married before.. but I did care that she lied about it.. she would also occasional lie IRL while dating her about stuff.. Here is the million dollar question though... would you have contacted the woman who lied about her age if you knew her real age? If no, then she's playing the odds that some guy will be ok with it... if yes, then she lost out with you. Too bad for her. Like I said, I never lied about my age, but I was definately tempted seeing some of these guys hypocritical age ranges. Ultimately, I pulled myself off of OLD altogether because I was sick of the whole mess.
Casablanca Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Here is the million dollar question though... would you have contacted the woman who lied about her age if you knew her real age? I know if like someone else said, they put their age lower on their profile and then explained their real age in the profile then I would. If they lied and didnt explain in the profile then I wouldnt contact them once I found out. I do understand why someone might do it. While it is great for guys like me who when Ive done OLD, I'm honest and write actual messages and only message people Im interested in both personality and physically I can stand out, but it can also happen that good women get tired of the bull crap that men do online or I could get lumped together through say a mass delete of messages.
Art_Critic Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Here is the million dollar question though... would you have contacted the woman who lied about her age if you knew her real age? In the cases that I remember.. No.. so yeah they were playing the odds..
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 In the cases that I remember.. No.. so yeah they were playing the odds.. So, maybe you can understand why women do it? Lie about age, I mean. You thought she sounded interesting and looked attractive until you found out her real age... Just sayin'...
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 So, maybe you can understand why women do it? Lie about age, I mean. You thought she sounded interesting and looked attractive until you found out her real age... Just sayin'... Actually..I get why the lie. but that doesn't mean they should do it.. saying it is okay is just like a short man lying and saying he is taller... In reality I thought they sounded interesting and looked attractive but once I found out they LIED they were no longer attractive anyhow.. It wasn't about the age but about the lie..In my experience if there are lies this close to the surface there will be more in a relationship Just saying
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Actually..I get why the lie. but that doesn't mean they should do it.. saying it is okay is just like a short man lying and saying he is taller... In reality I thought they sounded interesting and looked attractive but once I found out they LIED they were no longer attractive anyhow.. It wasn't about the age but about the lie..In my experience if there are lies this close to the surface there will be more in a relationship Just saying ok... I really have to call BS, darling. You just said you wouldn't have contacted them if they said their real age... but you obviously found them attractive in some way. No offense, you are as much to blame as they are. Why don't you open up your age range a bit if you found women that age attractive? Instead of blaming them for trying to work the system. Like I said, I never lied. But it sucks when guys SAY they are attracted to a woman, then back out when they find out a woman's real age and claim it is because they lied... Fess up. You just didn't want to tell your friends and family you are dating an older woman (wink).
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 ok... I really have to call BS, darling. You just said you wouldn't have contacted them if they said their real age... but you obviously found them attractive in some way. No offense, you are as much to blame as they are. Why don't you open up your age range a bit if you found women that age attractive? Instead of blaming them for trying to work the system. Like I said, I never lied. But it sucks when guys SAY they are attracted to a woman, then back out when they find out a woman's real age and claim it is because they lied... Fess up. You just didn't want to tell your friends and family you are dating an older woman (wink). Oh that is just a ridiculous post... I wouldn't have dated them if they put their age on there because I wasn't looking for someone that much older than me but once you get to know someone and they tell you their real age the turnoff isn't the age... it is the LIE. My first wife was older than me.. I dated older while doing OLD.. in the end I married a woman about 6 years younger but in my age group that is still close in age span.. Later on in OLD some of my priorities changed in life and I looked for women that still wanted kids.. nothing wrong with that.. and for me to be part of the blame for them lying..hahahahahaha My age range was 8-10 years either way.. when I was 40 and she said she was 45 it was fine.. but to then find out she was 55.. no way that was too much age gap for me. Wink wink...
Author FitChick Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 saying it is okay is just like a short man lying and saying he is taller... It wasn't about the age but about the lie..In my experience if there are lies this close to the surface there will be more in a relationship Wrong on the first count. It's easy to see someone's height. It's very difficult to know someone's age because we all age differently based on lifestyle. I've had my doctor's staff assume their computer was wrong when they saw my birthdate. They aren't professional actresses so wouldn't be able to fake the jaw drop and bulging eyes. I attract much younger men IRL because they have no idea how old I am. Wrong on the second count. The only thing I ever lie about is my age. I am quite blunt when it comes to most things and need to be more diplomatic. People who look older than their posted photos don't fool anybody. Those of us who look like our photos (or better) can get away with it. Nine times out of ten when you meet someone you are not likely to be attracted to them whether you know their age or not so telling them your age won't matter. My friends, neighbors and coworkers don't know my age so why should I tell a stranger? These days, especially, someone knowing your birthdate has one more tool for identity theft.
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 I guess the lying and what the person lies about is subjective.. For the record, I always told the truth in my profile.. I would at times test the response I got from hiding my earnings but got a better response showing my earnings.. and fitchick.. how can I be wrong on either of my points.. they are based on my experience and what I went thru..
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Oh that is just a ridiculous post... I wouldn't have dated them if they put their age on there because I wasn't looking for someone that much older than me but once you get to know someone and they tell you their real age the turnoff isn't the age... it is the LIE. My first wife was older than me.. I dated older while doing OLD.. in the end I married a woman about 6 years younger but in my age group that is still close in age span.. Later on in OLD some of my priorities changed in life and I looked for women that still wanted kids.. nothing wrong with that.. and for me to be part of the blame for them lying..hahahahahaha My age range was 8-10 years either way.. when I was 40 and she said she was 45 it was fine.. but to then find out she was 55.. no way that was too much age gap for me. Wink wink... I'm not seeing the difference. You were ok dating a 45 year old even though you wanted kids? Something doesn't add up here. 6 years isn't 'close'. 2-3 yrs is 'close' IMHO. It is only because of OLD that -6 is considered 'close'. You just said you wouldn't date someone older than 45 (+5 by your numbers) but marrying a woman -6 is 'close'. uh huh. It's ok. You have your preferences. Just don't BS about it and say you negged her just because she lied. That's all I'm saying.
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) These days, especially, someone knowing your birthdate has one more tool for identity theft. Telling your age doesn't mean divulging your birth date.. By the way.. with your name and city you live in I can find out your real age in less than 30 secs...30 secs... so why lie ? Edited November 27, 2011 by Art_Critic
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Telling your age doesn't mean divulging your birth date.. By the way.. with your name and city you live in I can find out your real age in less than 30 secs...30 secs... so why lie ? yet another reason not to do OLD.... I have better things to do than have every random guy Google me to death because he is paranoid about my AGE of all things. What a waste of time...
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Just don't BS about it and say you negged her just because she lied. That's all I'm saying. You are really full of shiot AL... that's all I'm sayin'.. I have never lied.. something doesn't add up here.. well.. I did use OLD for years.. so my preference changed and I'm trying to condense up my experiences into a few words...
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) You are really full of shiot AL... that's all I'm sayin'.. I have never lied.. something doesn't add up here.. well.. I did use OLD for years.. so my preference changed and I'm trying to condense up my experiences into a few words... That's ok.... Me and alot of other women who are really 'close to your own age' hear this crap all of the time. It all starts to sound the same after awhile. Nothing personal. Edited November 27, 2011 by ThsAmericanLife
PlumPrincess Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 Also, I think there an equal amount of genders that LIE about their age. There was this one woman, probably mid-40's, per herself as like 37 for her age.....but IN the content of the profile she admits to lying about it...she said she was actually 44, and she only put 37 so she could get her desired age demographic to pull her up. Talk about sneaky. She tended to brag later in my profile "I look young for my age, and I ALWAYS get carded when I go to clubs" And then laugh about it of course. There's a red flag there, narcissism and she's a mid 40's woman with a mid-life crisis. I've seen a guy do it for the same reason. I think he was 53 and put 45 in the age box. And then he wrote me. He probably thought I would be terrifically thrilled to have a dude who was nearly 20 years older contact me.
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