FitChick Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Of course, men will say the women do and women will say the men do. I found this article amusing. It is a limited survey of 1000 but involves people of all ages in the UK and US, so it's interesting to see how that makes a difference.
dasein Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 It's impossible to answer that "who lies more" question for posters here because very few have enough experience dating the opposite sex on OLD to say, and no heteros have any experience dating their same sex. You don't find out the lies until they tell you or you actually go on a date. I have dated 30 or so women from OLD in my life. 5-6 stick out as having told significant lies in their profiles that came out in 1-2 dates. Others could have lied but the type of lies that don't come out during first or second dates. Profile lies came out in 100% of the OLD women I dated longer than 2 months. Everything from smoking to drinking to religious beliefs to hobbies to age to travel to whatever. I believe what they say on "House," everyone lies about something.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 When I was doing OLD, there was a point where I lied about my job.... I said I had a Master's and not a PhD. I seem to recall getting more responses when I did, but ultimately decided I didn't want someone who was freaked out by that. Never lied about my age, and I stopped posting pictures at some point, so that was irrelevant. Only sent pictures to men who responded. Can't say that I came across anything extreme. I don't recall any men lying about their height, weight or physique. In fact, one guy claimed to be 'average' and he was totally underestimating himself. One of the fittest guys I'd met.
mammamia1 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I don't recall any men lying about their height, weight or physique. In fact, one guy claimed to be 'average' and he was totally underestimating himself. One of the fittest guys I'd met. I have the same experience. On the contrast, some women describe their bodies as "average" but are actually much heavier than that lol (just by looking at pics).
Nexus One Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Can't say that I came across anything extreme. I don't recall any men lying about their height, weight or physique. In fact, one guy claimed to be 'average' and he was totally underestimating himself. One of the fittest guys I'd met. I like it when people dampen expectations, only to then pleasantly surprise others. I like it when directors do that with movie trailers too, sometimes a trailer looks like nothing special, but the movie turns out to good.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I like it when people dampen expectations, only to then pleasantly surprise others. I like it when directors do that with movie trailers too, sometimes a trailer looks like nothing special, but the movie turns out to good. especially when they aren't insecure... they just aren't into calling alot of attention to themselves over it.
oaks Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Of course, men will say the women do and women will say the men do. I found this article amusing. It is a limited survey of 1000 but involves people of all ages in the UK and US, so it's interesting to see how that makes a difference. That reminds me of this study from OKCupid: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/
Author FitChick Posted November 25, 2011 Author Posted November 25, 2011 Profile lies came out in 100% of the OLD women I dated longer than 2 months. Everything from smoking to drinking to religious beliefs to hobbies to age to travel to whatever. I believe what they say on "House," everyone lies about something. So what did you lie about? Some of those lies are more important than others, depending on your priorities. Example: smoking is a dealbreaker for me but the others, not so much. A man who wants to be a father would find age a dealbreaker. Someone who is retired may want to travel all the time so a woman with a job would be a dealbreaker. I am always amused by self-righteous people who say, "Well, if s/he lied about _____ s/he'd lie about everything." Those people probably have very few friends.
dasein Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I smoke every now and then that would never rise to the level of even "occasional," cigs, cigars, a few times per year, usually with smoker friends. So I marked nonsmoker. I never smoked around the OLD women, only one ever asked because she happened to be at my house on a rare occasion after I'd had a cigar smoking buddy over. I am 5'10" barefoot and over 6' in most of the shoes I wear out, so put 5'11" as height. I had a woman call me on this actually "you aren't 5'11"!" She was 5'4". How women obsess on a couple of inches of height needs dozens and dozens of threads, there can never be enough on it, and women deserve to be embarrassed about this. It is irrational and completely based in vanity. That's about it as far as my OLD lies went.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Hmm, as a fine woman, I would say you have a PHD in the UGLY! do you even have a mirror and an honest person to tell the truth to your UGLY mug? Ah, you're here... demonstrating the LS moderator's incompetence as usual. Good job!
b_80_h Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 When I was doing OLD, there was a point where I lied about my job.... I said I had a Master's and not a PhD. I seem to recall getting more responses when I did, but ultimately decided I didn't want someone who was freaked out by that. Never lied about my age, and I stopped posting pictures at some point, so that was irrelevant. Only sent pictures to men who responded. Can't say that I came across anything extreme. I don't recall any men lying about their height, weight or physique. In fact, one guy claimed to be 'average' and he was totally underestimating himself. One of the fittest guys I'd met. Personally, my OLD experiences so far have shown that men and women lie at equal rates (I'm straight, but when I'm bored, I go offline and check out other guys' profiles for the sake of competition. Too many photos of abs), but it seems to be notable that they seem to lie for different motives. In my experience at least, it seems like women lie about intelligence and looks, while guys lie about interests and other personality traits. It makes sense for both sides, since intelligence can be a turn off for some men (they're missing out), and some women wont even look twice at a guy with certain hobbies.
dasein Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I am always amused by self-righteous people who say, "Well, if s/he lied about _____ s/he'd lie about everything." Those people probably have very few friends. I actually believe this when first approaching women in this day and age, I believe that women and men lie to each other fluidly about most anything while still in the "stranger" domain. It's unfortunate that people start from a position of dishonesty and must know someone to start being honest because it wasn't always like this.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Personally, my OLD experiences so far have shown that men and women lie at equal rates (I'm straight, but when I'm bored, I go offline and check out other guys' profiles for the sake of competition. Too many photos of abs), but it seems to be notable that they seem to lie for different motives. In my experience at least, it seems like women lie about intelligence and looks, while guys lie about interests and other personality traits. It makes sense for both sides, since intelligence can be a turn off for some men (they're missing out), and some women wont even look twice at a guy with certain hobbies. funny you mention that... how some people swing to the other extreme to show they aren't lying. Like the guy who says he's athletic and has his shirt off on the main pic. I dunno... just doesn't look classy at all. The whole concept of 'marketing' is kinda what we're talking about... I lie about my education (but is it really hurting anyone??), someone else fibs about something else... I'm sure they feel it is harmless too. Hard to say...
Author FitChick Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 I believe that women and men lie to each other fluidly about most anything while still in the "stranger" domain. It's unfortunate that people start from a position of dishonesty and must know someone to start being honest because it wasn't always like this. The problem starts when people want to control which lies they are told. No man wants to be told he is a lousy lover. "Why are you so angry? I'm only telling you the truth, dear. You said you never wanted me to lie to you." Be careful what you wish for.
dasein Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Be careful what you wish for. There's a difference between avoiding the whole truth to spare others' feelings and lying about yourself to a relative stranger to either appear more or less attactive to them.
writergal Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 The men I dated from OLD websites all lied about their single-status. They were either recently divorced, separated or already casually dating another woman when they started dating me. I've only lied about my job because when I put "teacher" that didn't get me any responses. But when I put my former job as a radio producer I got more hits. Men can be very judgmental. I've basically decided to stop OLD because I don't trust men who use dating websites to be honest with me.
D-Lish Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 In my experience men have lied about age, height, and even ethnicity! They lie about what they are looking for, they lie about being married or in a relationship... I assume women are just as deceptive.
oaks Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 My experience (not statistically significant) is that some women weren't honest about their height (shorter than they said), body type (larger than the stated 'average'), marital status ('divorced' rather than 'single'), sports/activities (less physically active than the sports they listed - eg 'yes I used to cycle 3 years ago but not since I moved to London'), where they lived (and London is a huge place with slow travelling options, so it makes a difference if you're on opposite sides), photos (occasionally old and before they traded doing exercise for eating cake). Some women appeared to be completely honest.
Casablanca Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I have the same experience. On the contrast, some women describe their bodies as "average" but are actually much heavier than that lol (just by looking at pics). Ive seen this a lot Id say men lie about age and height, women lie about weight I dont understand why lie on there, the other person is going to figure it out. I remember talking with one lady on there, described her body as athletic, well she wasnt a few extra pounds, not even close in the description.
thatone Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 i only did the online dating sites for a few months, and didn't lie about anything. i only met one woman who lied about multiple things. she made up an entire life history that didn't exist as far as i could tell, and was about 40-50 pounds heavier than her pics to boot.
irc333 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Ive seen this a lot Id say men lie about age and height, women lie about weight I dont understand why lie on there, the other person is going to figure it out. I remember talking with one lady on there, described her body as athletic, well she wasnt a few extra pounds, not even close in the description. Yeah, I get a kick out of how oveweight women try to HIDE their appearances by taking all 7 of their pictures from above their head. Or they are hiding behind a tree, poking their head out, or stand sideways so you can't see how wide they are.
irc333 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Also, I think there an equal amount of genders that LIE about their age. There was this one woman, probably mid-40's, per herself as like 37 for her age.....but IN the content of the profile she admits to lying about it...she said she was actually 44, and she only put 37 so she could get her desired age demographic to pull her up. Talk about sneaky. She tended to brag later in my profile "I look young for my age, and I ALWAYS get carded when I go to clubs" And then laugh about it of course. There's a red flag there, narcissism and she's a mid 40's woman with a mid-life crisis.
oaks Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 She tended to brag later in my profile "I look young for my age, and I ALWAYS get carded when I go to clubs" And then laugh about it of course. I always get carded when I go to clubs, too. Ok, so they are clubs that card everybody, so it doesn't really count for much, but I didn't have to tell you that.
grkBoy Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I think both sides lie equally. Not trying to be evasive with the answer, but the problem with OD is that most people just want results, not an ideal match. They want the hot man/woman to reply to them or email them...and date them. So they'll say/do anything to get that. Short bald guys hear women hate bald men and short guys, so they'll post pictures before they lost their hair and claim to be 6' tall. Women hear men don't like curvy/larger women, or women with short hair...so they'll post those photos before the first baby and before that hair chop. They might then hide a "true" photo later in the gallery. Guys think women like money, so suddenly he adds $20,000 to his income. Women and men lie about being separated or even married. This is why OD is a mess...everyone just wants results and not an ideal match. This is why I tell people to get professional photos taken as opposed to just sneaking around for facebook photos and then cropping everyone out of that one group shot.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Also, I think there an equal amount of genders that LIE about their age. There was this one woman, probably mid-40's, per herself as like 37 for her age.....but IN the content of the profile she admits to lying about it...she said she was actually 44, and she only put 37 so she could get her desired age demographic to pull her up. Talk about sneaky. She tended to brag later in my profile "I look young for my age, and I ALWAYS get carded when I go to clubs" And then laugh about it of course. There's a red flag there, narcissism and she's a mid 40's woman with a mid-life crisis. I've seen men do that too... I don't consider that lying. They've told you the truth before considering contacting them. ... and I'd argue that doing this doesn't necessarily spell mid-life crisis. Me personally... I'm sick and tired of men near my own age routinely putting +1 or +2 years older than them as their upper limit and -10/-15 as their lower limit... Especially when they aren't anything to write home about themselves... and then getting spammed by men 10 yrs or more older than me. It is one of the main reasons I stopped doing OLD... It isn't fun to be reminded on a regular basis that no matter what I've done with my life that I'm out of the running if I happen to be even a few years older... especially when the reverse standard isn't applied. Now, when I used to post pics of myself... yea, I get tons of emails from the young'ins. That's not fun either... to feel like ok, you like me when you think I'm 'hot'. Whatever. The whole thing made me ill after awhile. Catalog dating. But you all know where I stand on this... Sorry to sound like a broken record I know it works for some people...
Recommended Posts