Still having a Hard time

[drifter777]

I actually disagree with you. I really think when I give her the ultimatum to come clean or deal with the big D, she will walk away; though not without taking as much as she can get...

 

 

Then why are you staying with her and trying to make it work? She is not committed to reconciling or she would be remorseful and open to doing whatever it takes to re-gain your trust. She doesn't care about any of that, and you are a spineless worm for allowing her to treat you this way and just continue to bend over and take it.

 

Your confidence and self-respect have been crushed by this whoring bitch and you need to gather the courage to give her the ultimatum and let the chips fall where they may. If she walks, good riddance, if she stays and commits to trying to repair your relationship maybe it's worth a try.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Well...Last night there was a straw that broke the camel's back. I finally flat told her I was scheduling an appointment with a polygraph company. I asked if she thought she would pass with flying colors based on what she has told me over the last 6 1/2 years. She stammered around a bit and then said she had gone to a town about 2 hours from here and shacked up in a hotel with the OM and admitted that they had sex. She claims that they only did this once about 6 1/2 years ago, while I was out of town; the day I couldn't reach her on her phone. I asked her why and she said she didn't know. Just kept saying she was a different person back then. I asked how she could do that when she was on fertility drugs; had no answer. We will talk more tonight, though I doubt I get anymore answers. I still intend on telling her that we are proceeding with the polygraph. I don't believe it was a one time thing.

 

I am doing just ok. Though I've been almost certain from the beginning they were having sex, I held on to the little bit that just didn't want to believe she would do that to me. I've got to get my head straight and figure out how I am going to proceed; whether to stay and attempt to work it out or just cut her loose.

 

The OM is a skeeze and just got engaged to another woman on Christmas. I would LOVE to visit with his soon to be wife.

Edited January 16, 2012 by HeartBrokeFool

[road]

Time for a DNA test.

[Darth Vader]

Well...Last night there was a straw that broke the camel's back. I finally flat told her I was scheduling an appointment with a polygraph company. I asked if she thought she would pass with flying colors based on what she has told me over the last 6 1/2 years. She stammered around a bit and then said she had gone to a town about 2 hours from here and shacked up in a hotel with the OM and admitted that they had sex. She claims that they only did this once about 6 1/2 years ago, while I was out of town; the day I couldn't reach her on her phone. I asked her why and she said she didn't know. Just kept saying she was a different person back then. I asked how she could do that when she was on fertility drugs; had no answer. We will talk more tonight, though I doubt I get anymore answers. I still intend on telling her that we are proceeding with the polygraph. I don't believe it was a one time thing.

 

I am doing just ok. Though I've been almost certain from the beginning they were having sex, I held on to the little bit that just didn't want to believe she would do that to me. I've got to get my head straight and figure out how I am going to proceed; whether to stay and attempt to work it out or just cut her loose.

 

The OM is a skeeze and just got engaged to another woman on Christmas. I would LOVE to visit with his soon to be wife.

 

Inform this OM's soon to be wife, let her know what she's about to get into!

[Bryanp]

Absolutely you are doing the right thing by continuing to force her to have the polygraph test. She is in damage control. Look how easy it has been for her to continue to lie to your face for so many years. She has unprotected sex (putting you at risk for STD's) while she is on fertility drugs? What is wrong with this picture? You know she is not telling you the whole story.

 

You ask her why and all she can say is she does not know??? I call bull on this. She continues to lie to you. Guaranteed it was more than once. The fact that clearly she did not care if she got pregnant with this OM while on fertility drugs say it all. She clearly thought if she did get pregnant with this guy she would have no problem passing it off as yours. She is a real piece of work. She is absolutely toxic to you. See an attorney because you deserve so much better than wasting your life on a woman who has no respect for you whatsoever. Again if you do not respect yourself then who will? I wish you luck.

[robf1971]

Inform this OM's soon to be wife, let her know what she's about to get into!

 

I don't get why he (OP) isn't doing this, actually it's not just the OP it's loads of other BS's who come on here. Do they think that somehow being a 'nice guy' is going to make their wive's come back to them?

 

Telling the OM's wife has many benefits

 

1. A very high chance of destroying the affair

2. You are helping someone out ie the future wife of OM

3. You're wife will respect you for standing up for yourself

 

4. The only drawback is your wife might be angry with you lol but who cares she's gone anyway.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Another long discussion last night. Wife's mother was at the house (she had come to watch our child for the day). I met her mother on the road as she was leaving and had a long discussion with her. I thought it was a very good discussion; however, the first thing I asked her was whether my Wife had told her about our blow out the night before. She told me NO. Later in the conversation with my wife, she told me she had spent her lunch hour discussing it with her mom. Her mom advised her to take half of any cash on hand and hire an attorney. I can tolerate my inlaws very well, but they have major problems being honest.

 

Anyway...I kept control of the conversation with my Wife fairly well. The first thing I told her was that there were parts of her story that still don't add up. She told me several times how terrible it has been for her to keep the final details from me for so long; that she thought she was going to have nervous breakdown. She ran the textbook line about how it was so hard on her. She still couldn't tell me WHY. Just said the guy made her feel good about herself. I asked her at what point during their little roadtrip did she make the concious decision that she was going to sleep with him. She said "I guess when he parked the vehicle in the hotel parking lot". I said, at no point why checking into the room or walking into it did you think this was not a good idea. She said obviously not. I asked her at what point she felt any remorse. She told me it was after I came home from my trip with my parents and was literally sick for two days over the deal (remember, I didn't know for sure that she was screwing anyone, I knew something was going on just not sure what). I asked her whether she was sorry that she did it or just sorry that she got caught; of course she said she was sorry she did it. I asked her how long it might have gone on if I hadn't happened to hear the vmail that started my suspicions; she said she didn't know. She said after i confronted her she had no more contact with the OM until 2007. Said she found out she was pregnant and "chose me". I was like, chose me?? You chose me when you said I DO!! I didn't even know I was in a competition, but you "chose me"??

 

I told her I wanted to try counseling before I made a decision on how to proceed; she agreed. I told her I thought she should find another place of employment; she objected with poor excuses; for those of you who didn't read my long post above, the confirmed OM is a long ways away now.

 

At the end of our conversation, the last thing I said was that I still wanted the polygraph. She came mildly undone and told me that I was going to have to trust her if we were going to save the relationship. If I couldn't trust her and needed her to take a polygraph, then it wasn't going to work out...

 

HAMMER AWAY AT ME; I know what's comin'...

[Michael30]

Another long discussion last night. Wife's mother was at the house (she had come to watch our child for the day). I met her mother on the road as she was leaving and had a long discussion with her. I thought it was a very good discussion; however, the first thing I asked her was whether my Wife had told her about our blow out the night before. She told me NO. Later in the conversation with my wife, she told me she had spent her lunch hour discussing it with her mom. Her mom advised her to take half of any cash on hand and hire an attorney. I can tolerate my inlaws very well, but they have major problems being honest.

 

Don't even bother getting into it with the in-laws. It's a fight you'll never win. Yes her mother is a liar just like her daughter, but a parent will always look out for their children, no matter who they're married to or whether they cheated.

 

Anyway...I kept control of the conversation with my Wife fairly well. The first thing I told her was that there were parts of her story that still don't add up. She told me several times how terrible it has been for her to keep the final details from me for so long; that she thought she was going to have nervous breakdown.

Hogwash, she knows exactly everything that happened between her and the man (or men) she cheated on you with. She just doesn't want to tell you because she's trying to damage control the situation-save her own behind.

 

She ran the textbook line about how it was so hard on her. She still couldn't tell me WHY. Just said the guy made her feel good about herself.<--------Bullsh*t

You already know why she cheated-because she wanted to. She wanted the excitement of screwing around behind your back and she went for it. It had absolutely nothing to do with you or your marriage. She went down that road herself. It's that simple. There's no "complex" reason as to why. She did it because she's selfish.

 

I asked her at what point during their little roadtrip did she make the concious decision that she was going to sleep with him. She said "I guess when he parked the vehicle in the hotel parking lot". I said, at no point why checking into the room or walking into it did you think this was not a good idea. She said obviously not. I asked her at what point she felt any remorse. She told me it was after I came home from my trip with my parents and was literally sick for two days over the deal (remember, I didn't know for sure that she was screwing anyone, I knew something was going on just not sure what). I asked her whether she was sorry that she did it or just sorry that she got caught; of course she said she was sorry she did it.

Cheating wives don't feel remorse or any guilt when they're about to give their puss to another man. She's only crying tears because she got caught. She liked the covert activity and she'll only do it again when your head is turned, as evidenced by your previous posts.

 

I asked her how long it might have gone on if I hadn't happened to hear the vmail that started my suspicions; she said she didn't know. She said after i confronted her she had no more contact with the OM until 2007. Said she found out she was pregnant and "chose me". I was like, chose me?? You chose me when you said I DO!! I didn't even know I was in a competition, but you "chose me"??

 

I told her I wanted to try counseling before I made a decision on how to proceed; she agreed. I told her I thought she should find another place of employment; she objected with poor excuses; for those of you who didn't read my long post above, the confirmed OM is a long ways away now.

 

At the end of our conversation, the last thing I said was that I still wanted the polygraph. She came mildly undone and told me that I was going to have to trust her if we were going to save the relationship. If I couldn't trust her and needed her to take a polygraph, then it wasn't going to work out...

 

HAMMER AWAY AT ME; I know what's comin'...

Dude you seriously need to divorce her. She'll never change and with every action and every statement out of her mouth, she is telling you exactly that-she'll never change and she'll keep f*cking men at your expense. If you want to live the life of a cuckold dude, then stay, but you'll be putting yourself at a higher risk of STDs and/or you'll end up taking care of another man's child. She has no remorse and she's been lying to you for years.

[Bryanp]

What she actually meant of course was that there is no way she would take the polygraph because she is lying through her teeth. Saying to you that you need to trust her after all of this is ludicrous. Since she claims to have told you everything that why is she so afraid to take the polygraph???......because she is lying to you obviously. See a lawyer now and stop her from manipulating you.

 

She is scared to death that she will be asked how many times did she screw this guy and has there been others and if she screwed him in your home? Do you really really need to have a piano fall on your head to understand what she refuses to take the polygraph? It is your life. Don't you think its time to stop wasting it on her. Enough is enough! Good luck.

[HeartBrokeFool]

I appreciate everyone's advice and you are all helping me move through this. I understand that it's easy to lump all of this into a general category of cheating and that everythings the same...I think all individual situations are different. It has helped me to hear your advice and read about other situations on this forum.

 

The polygraph is a must and will be completed before I choose to stay in or leave the marriage. Its so hard for me to express the person I am to you all. It's easy for people to tell me to "man up" and move on. If I were offering advice to someone else, I would most likely tell them the same. I was an extremely confident, very trusting, and extremely loyal individual before all of this; very far away from what anyone would ever even call naive. I was one of the top people in my career field. I am still a very loyal person to anyone who earns it; my family, my job, my friends. This is why I am so shattered and broken. I knew spouses cheated on spouses. Its truly something that I never understood or understood how someone could do that to another human being. Now it happened to me and I feel like everything in the world I ever had confidence in or all that I thought was reality is in question and at this point don't believe i will ever get that back.

 

Will divorcing my spouse change my outlook on life; no. I will still live the rest of my life wondering why, how, and if I could've only caught this sooner before it got so far. If I would've only come home from my trip the first night we argued on the phone while I was gone could I have stopped this.

 

Will divorcing her make me feel better; no. I will still live knowing that she is with (or will end up with someone) else and that i still don't know the truth. Its a thought I can not bear. If I stay in my marriage, the feelings are still the same.

 

I know my wife has not told me the entire truth. The entire truth will have to come out before I make my decision. It eats at me that she continues to withold information. I know she's damage controlling the situation to save herself. But I also know her well enough that I know she's witholding information because she doesn't want to see the pain it will cause me again. I have to admit my reaction to each bit of truth she has revealed has not been well. If I could go back and change how I reacted, I would. I believe she would've told me everything much sooner. I was not, am not, and never will be abusive. The reaction was of anger and hurt each time. I believe counseling will help her to realize that she has to let it all out and why; no matter how painful it is for her or me. I believe she's protecting herself, but also believes she's protecting me by not telling all.

[Steen719]

Will divorcing my spouse change my outlook on life; no. I will still live the rest of my life wondering why, how, and if I could've only caught this sooner before it got so far. If I would've only come home from my trip the first night we argued on the phone while I was gone could I have stopped this.

 

This above is one of the hardest things to get over, I think. I have to constantly remind myself that, while I certainly was not perfect in my marriage, I would not have handled my discontent in the manner my XH did. I know that people say you never know if you would cheat on a spouse, so I guess I cannot discuss it in absolutes. However, I never did in 23 years and like most people, I had chances. Was I always happy? Well, no of course not...who is? Some people are OK with cheating on a test, some are not. Some will lie to "protect their spouse", some will not. How did she think you would react? I think the one person who should have your back should not be the one who betrays you. I believe that says more about her and her character than you and yours.

 

Anyway, you did not make her cheat and lie. That is on her alone.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Well...Another long discussion mid-afternoon...I am more confident that the truths are out for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I'm not backing down on the polygraph and she did agree to it willingly. I'm sure there are still some details that will follow. She did tell me that she and the OM were "written up" at work for the content of their email communications back and forth. Also told me that two years ago one of the head guys at work was continually sending her emails telling her that he was in love with her and that she should be with him. She said she deflected them and management picked them up in their screening process and reprimanded him.

 

At this point I kept our conversation on course. We finished well. I was about to explode inside. My first reaction was to walk into her place of employment and just start raising holy hell. As soon as my wife left I called the owner of her place of employment. He agreed to meet me for a cup of coffee. We had a very good conversation and he told me that he was aware of the situation(s) and had been staying on top of it back then. He said as far as emails go there had not been any problems the last couple years. He said he was more than willing to allow me to view the emails they caught and placed in their HR files, but I would have to do so in his office. He confirmed my wife's story on the guy who had been emailing her a couple years ago. I asked why they didn't just fire the piece of **** and he stepped around the question. He also told me he was afraid the relationship between my wife and the OM was going to go too far back then and they warned them both and thought it was stopped.

 

We will talk more tonight...

[Michael30]

A polygraph is not going to make you feel better, nor will it wipe away the enormous, constant, permanent damage your wife has done to this marriage. Most of the time they're faulty and besides, she has told you time and time again that she's remorseless for cheating and wants you to simply "get over it."

 

Blaming yourself for something you did not cause, and had no control over, will only keep you in the place you're in now. She caused it, not you.

[DarkPrince]

Jeezus god, Your ituation is almost identical to mine. Its scary how much alike our wive's affairs were. Mine happened 7 yeras ago, and like you I cannot get the truth from her. She tells me to get over it and move on. She's a different person and I need to stop living in the past. Almost verbatim to what your wife told you. I fear that I will never get the truth.

I have one question for you. Is your wife really a different person than she was back then?? Does she treat you better?

I ask this becuase my wife is a much better person than she was then, and treats me like gold now. It makes it very hard for me to be able to think of leaving her. She's so good no that I still sometimes have to think twice like "that REALLY happened?! Wow I cant believe she really did that"

Even though it was 7 years ago I still get raging mad on a regular basis because since I dont know the details I have to imagine them the best I can, and some days I will think of something new that they probably didi, and it will enrage me like the affair just happened. TO make matters worse, I have to hide these feelings from my wife, and on many occassions it has ruined intimacy with her for me. I tell her I cant get an erection becuase of to much caffiene but in reality Im thinking about what the OM did to the same naked body Im looking at before sex, and it destroys my desire for her.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Jeezus god, Your ituation is almost identical to mine. Its scary how much alike our wive's affairs were. Mine happened 7 yeras ago, and like you I cannot get the truth from her. She tells me to get over it and move on. She's a different person and I need to stop living in the past. Almost verbatim to what your wife told you. I fear that I will never get the truth.

I have one question for you. Is your wife really a different person than she was back then?? Does she treat you better?

I ask this becuase my wife is a much better person than she was then, and treats me like gold now. It makes it very hard for me to be able to think of leaving her. She's so good no that I still sometimes have to think twice like "that REALLY happened?! Wow I cant believe she really did that"

Even though it was 7 years ago I still get raging mad on a regular basis because since I dont know the details I have to imagine them the best I can, and some days I will think of something new that they probably didi, and it will enrage me like the affair just happened. TO make matters worse, I have to hide these feelings from my wife, and on many occassions it has ruined intimacy with her for me. I tell her I cant get an erection becuase of to much caffiene but in reality Im thinking about what the OM did to the same naked body Im looking at before sex, and it destroys my desire for her.

 

Dark Horse, I struggle with the question as to whether she is a different person now than she was then. I see great changes in her and do not believe she would be weak enough to cheat again, but i also constantly think, HEY, she lied to me for 6 1/2 years, she's no different than she was then. Obviously she treated me like a piece of **** when she srewed this guy and lied about it, but honestly other than that she treats me very well. I know its hard for some people to understand what I'm saying. Alot of people on here are just like, you are an idiot. She's been treating you like ****. She was about the affair, but the rest of our marital life is pretty good. I know that's hard for some people to comprehend. I think she's done pretty well. I've come undone several times and said some VERY mean and hateful/hurtful things. What she did was the same. I love my wife. Had she come completely clean back when the affair took place and we hadn't been pregnant or had a child, I most likely would've divorced her, though I'm not so sure but what we wouldn't have ended up toegether again anyhow. As I said in an earlier post, it was in front of me in black and white that she slept with the OM, but I sooo wanted it to not be true and couldn't imagine that she would've ever done it.

 

I do know alot of the details now. Stuff that I had to imagine and create for 6 1/2 years. I thought I was completely ready for it, but not so much. I think about it constantly. I now know pretty much all of the details of what happened other than the period of time they were in the hotel room having sex. People may call me strange or may think its weird, but I actually want to know the details of what went on in the hotel room. I don't hide the feelings from my wife. She knows. I told her everytime we have sex, I wonder if she's thinking well the OM did this to me and my husband doesn't do it the same. Or I feel like she's probably having sex with me and imagining that its the OM and the "good time" the had. It's hard for me to even kiss her knowing that they were making out in a vehicle before they went into the hotel and knowing that his d!ck may have been in her mouth. I really have to try to block it out.

 

Right now we are trying to get into a marriage counselor as quickly as possible.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Things are kind of at a stand still. I asked my wife last night if she needed to talk. There was no talking about the issue. My wife's employer did call her in yesterday to discuss the conversation he and I had (with my permission). I figured that would certainly be something to talk about. We have an appointment setup with a MC next week. I was really hoping we could get there sooner.

 

I am struggling with whether to tell the OM's new fiance since this was supposedly over and done 4 1/2 years ago. I think she deserves to know what value the OM has for the commitment of marriage and relationships; both mine and his, but keep thinking maybe he's changed and all this will do is cause heart ache to a woman who wasn't even involved. The OM does have a child with this woman to whom he's engaged. I set down and wrote a letter out yesterday just to get my thoughts down on what I would say to her.

 

Also struggling with whether or not to tell the "other head guys" wife that he was emailing and professing his love and propositioning my wife. My wife deflected his advances, but the guys a jerk. He's been involved with at least one other married co-worker and numerous outside of work. His wife knows about some of them but has chosen to stay because her mom was married and divorced several times. My wife told me she didn't tell me about the advances because she was afraid I would blow up and accuse her of doing something to lead the guy on. He is one of the co-workers the OM bragged about screwing my wife to. I think the guy was under the impression that she'd be an easy hookup so was trying his luck.

 

At this point I have chosen to wait on all until we meet with the MC.

 

I don't want to be an ass, but I truly feel my wife should let each of these women know what went on. I believe she owes the OM's ex-wife an apology; though they were engaged and not married at the time.

 

With the time that has passed (6 1/2 years since sex with OM that i know of) and 1-2 years since the other guy was emailing her, do you think I should just leave it alone?

[Darren Steez]

lol honestly you're cracking me up, you're sitting there begging and crying and yet still no closer to the truth. Typical beta male, don't bother with all this crying and begging, just accept it and put all those nagging questions to the back of your head, cause she ain't gonna tell you and she aint doing a polygraph either. she willingly lied to you and continues to do so and you're trying to reason with someone like that?

SHE BANGED ANOTHER DUDE!!

either she does the polygraph or she goes....but she's not going to go is she, because you wont do anything so it's a mute point! Stop worrying about it, live your life

[DarkPrince]

id honestly say the best thing for both of us to do is learn from it, and let it go. I know its easier said than done, but ideally its the best thing you could do for yourself.

I dont know how your social life is, but for me, Im from NJ, and thats where I met my wife. We moved to FL 10 years ago, and my problem is that Ive been socially isolated down here because I really just dont click with the people down here. When we visit NJ I feel free. I know that I could just leave her and be fine with other women, but when we're in FL I feel trapped. Im stuck here until I get my degree then get back on my feet financially before I can move back to NJ, which I def will. But until then I will make the best of it, because she really treats me well, and I need to think of the future. I have to do whats best for me.You should too. Let it go, but keep your eyes open for someone better, and if she comes along, dont pass her up. Maybe you'll end up a better man because if all this.

I seriously wouldnt worry about it. My wife was the biggest hoe around. Im sure there are tons of guys I dont know about, but that just the way it is. If I didnt catch her RED HANDED, I would have figured she ****ed him, but forgot about it weeks later. What your wife did doesnt seem as bad in comparison.

[Binster]

Sorry mate but if you want real answers I'd push on with the polygraph.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Well I haven't been on here for over 3 months now. Alot, but nothing has really happened. Wife confessed that she had already been sexually active with the OM a week before "the weekend" I was gone and started figuring things out. Actually gave me a story with some detail, but it still doesn't add up. Said that communication between them never stopped between '05 & '07. Now says "most" communication ceased in 2009. I'm really pissed. She told me again that now she has told me everything. As I said, her story still doesn't add up.

 

We went to a marriage counselor. First appointment, I thought it was going to be really good. Since then, its been a waste of money. The marriage counselor doesn't try to make her accountable for anything. He just focuses on working on our marriage moving forward. I'm at my wits end. The one piece of advice that I took from the MC was to wait and evaluate my decision on whether or not to leave about 6 months down the road. At this point, I'm ready to go. I am sooo pissed at my wife for not telling the truth and catching her in lies right up to the present about the whole situation, even though she swore (like she has for 7 years) she told me everything.

 

I've been VERY blunt with her that she needs to stop lying.

[HeartBrokeFool]

I have stayed in contact with an attorney to make sure everything is as much in order as it can be should I decide to walk away.

[Owl]

Polygraph?

 

You're STILL getting trickle truths.

[drifter777]

Well I haven't been on here for over 3 months now. Alot, but nothing has really happened. Wife confessed that she had already been sexually active with the OM a week before "the weekend" I was gone and started figuring things out. Actually gave me a story with some detail, but it still doesn't add up. Said that communication between them never stopped between '05 & '07. Now says "most" communication ceased in 2009. I'm really pissed. She told me again that now she has told me everything. As I said, her story still doesn't add up.

 

We went to a marriage counselor. First appointment, I thought it was going to be really good. Since then, its been a waste of money. The marriage counselor doesn't try to make her accountable for anything. He just focuses on working on our marriage moving forward. I'm at my wits end. The one piece of advice that I took from the MC was to wait and evaluate my decision on whether or not to leave about 6 months down the road. At this point, I'm ready to go. I am sooo pissed at my wife for not telling the truth and catching her in lies right up to the present about the whole situation, even though she swore (like she has for 7 years) she told me everything.

 

I've been VERY blunt with her that she needs to stop lying.

 

How horrible for you - I really feel your pain. Trickle truth, continued outright lying along with her "get over it" attitude has probably doomed any chance you may have had at reconciliation. You have been in pain too long and really need to start to take care of yourself for a change. I urge you to get into IC and work on your feelings and personal recovery with a professional. Don't let the poor experience with a MC turn you off to this as an IC will focus on helping you get better.

 

Be advised that your wife will NEVER be truthful with you regarding her cheating. Never. At best you can get (mostly) full disclosure regarding who, when, where, but never what or how much. This is at best, and your wife is far, far from "best".

 

Nothing is worse for your child then to be part of a bad marriage, and it seems as though yours may be getting worse. I think a separation could give both of you a chance to evaluate how you want to live the rest of your lives. Your situation right now seems to scream "divorce" but things could change if you simply put some physical and emotional distance between the two of you.

 

Be strong, take action, and good luck!

[Looknfoward]

In order to have a true R,, you need the WS to show TRUE remorse. Guilt goes away. One of the best indicators that indicate true remorse is that a WS will tell you everything. She clearly its not showing you, true remorse. I would consider a D. You deserve to live in peace.

[HeartBrokeFool]

Have not done the polygraph, though it is still on the table.

 

We talked (got heated) last night. I told her the same thing I've told her from the "beginning"; lay it all out, NO LIES, let's get this in open and work toward moving on. Her story doesn't add up so I asked her about it. At some point in the "beginning" she told me she met up with the OM a week before I had any suspicion. Said they went "cruising" on the dirt roads and were just talking. He tried to kiss her and she told him no. Another time she told me they had sex in our vehicle on this occassion. Then she tells me that the Saturday I was out of town was led into by him saying I've already seen you half naked, I want more. I said, If you already had sex what more was he wanting? She got really mad and changed the story again!

 

She told me that she feels like no matter what she tells me, I'm never going to get past this. I said ALL I WANT IS THE TRUTH!! I told her, its not like I'm asking about relationships, boyfriends, and your sex life BEFORE we were married! I realize most people on here say that I will never get the "gory" details, but why the F*&^ can't she just get the dang story straight??

 

Am I really that out of line for expecting that??

 

I feel that I'm entitled to know exactly what the two of them were doing; ALL OF IT. Do I expect that she will be that detailed; NO, but get the damned story straight!

 

I've already been bashed on here by a couple for "letting" her do this to me. I don't need anymore of that. My question is, Am I really that far of base with my expectations?