ditzchic Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 So I've been talking to a guy who seems fairly into me. We met like a month ago while I was out of town with friends. We haven't had an official first date yet because of the distance but some of our conversations have turned sexual in nature. Not like sexting or anything more along the lines of joking around/just flirting. Anyway, I asked him what his magic number was. I prefaced the question with a feel free to tell me it's none of my business. He told me he really had no idea but he thinks it's somewhere around 10. This seems so weird to me.... 10 really isn't that big of a number. It's not so many that it should be especially confusing or that you couldn't do a quick recount in your head. This was through text message so it's not like I put him on the spot in person and he panicked. He could have taken a few minutes to think about it or even come up with a good lie! Honestly, I don't really judge on those things so he could have said 50 and I would have been cool with that. I made a joke to him about him not knowing means that he's a manwhore or something along those lines. He said that guys just don't really care all that much about the number and that's why he doesn't know. I left it go but it's kind of bothering me. Is this a red flag that he's either a liar, chronic awkward conversation avoider or a man whore? Or is he right that guys just really don't give two strokes about that kind of thing?
eleanorhurting Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Maybe im naive but I would not want someone to ask me my number and I would not tell either! And mine is way lower than 10 and I still would be embarassed if a date asked me. But I'm weird so...
insertnamehere Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Did you establish the scoring system? For example, I had a girl in a bar who I got to orgasm by necking and fingering alone. Does she count for the score sheet? I generally don't score her, but I'm pretty sure others might. Does only full on intercourse count? If not, I have to deduct the second girl from my only threesome. On a more serious note, he's probably scared ****less to give you the real answer. Women hold every ****ing thing guys have ever done or will do or that they saw us do in a dream against us. Telling a girl how many women you've slept with is tough. FTR, my answer is "Yes, I had a life before I met you." Frankly, there is no right answer to this question.
Author ditzchic Posted November 25, 2011 Author Posted November 25, 2011 Maybe im naive but I would not want someone to ask me my number and I would not tell either! And mine is way lower than 10 and I still would be embarassed if a date asked me. But I'm weird so... He actually kind of brought it up. He made reference to serial daters and girls that sleep with a ton of guys being gross. I asked the question in a light way. I wasn't like interrogating him. It just seemed to kind of fit the way our conversation was going. He had previously asked questions about my sexual past. He just never asked the number question. I normally never ask that question. Like I said, I really don't care what the answer is. It just kind of fit the conversation...
Author ditzchic Posted November 25, 2011 Author Posted November 25, 2011 Did you tell him the number of the cold sores that cover your dirty mouth? My Valtrex prescription was out of refills that day. There were too many to count. I gave him my best estimate though. 52.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 So I've been talking to a guy who seems fairly into me. We met like a month ago while I was out of town with friends. We haven't had an official first date yet because of the distance but some of our conversations have turned sexual in nature. Not like sexting or anything more along the lines of joking around/just flirting. Anyway, I asked him what his magic number was. I prefaced the question with a feel free to tell me it's none of my business. He told me he really had no idea but he thinks it's somewhere around 10. This seems so weird to me.... 10 really isn't that big of a number. It's not so many that it should be especially confusing or that you couldn't do a quick recount in your head. This was through text message so it's not like I put him on the spot in person and he panicked. He could have taken a few minutes to think about it or even come up with a good lie! Honestly, I don't really judge on those things so he could have said 50 and I would have been cool with that. I made a joke to him about him not knowing means that he's a manwhore or something along those lines. He said that guys just don't really care all that much about the number and that's why he doesn't know. I left it go but it's kind of bothering me. Is this a red flag that he's either a liar, chronic awkward conversation avoider or a man whore? Or is he right that guys just really don't give two strokes about that kind of thing? Guys just don't care about such things like women do. The phrase "less history, more mystery" is appropriate in today's mating society. If you see a documented clean bill of health then it doesn't matter whether his number is "4" or "400". I'm reminded of a young woman I know who has taken to sometimes recycling her past lovers so as not to have to raise her precious "number". (society doesn't do very well at affording gorgeous women more room in that area to allow for the many, many more offers they get)
Imageiko Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 A girl asking me how many girls I've slept with before our first date is a red flag.... You didn't get a real answer because it's not really the time to be bringing up that kinda thing imo.
Jynxx Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I never answer that question seriously. It's simply none of her business. If she asked you how much you make in a year before being in a relationship, would you give an honest answer to that or would it be a red flag if someone didn't answer?
slr Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Hmmm maybe he doesn't feel comfortable telling you his exact number
writergal Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 So I've been talking to a guy who seems fairly into me. We met like a month ago while I was out of town with friends. We haven't had an official first date yet because of the distance but some of our conversations have turned sexual in nature. Not like sexting or anything more along the lines of joking around/just flirting. Anyway, I asked him what his magic number was. I prefaced the question with a feel free to tell me it's none of my business. He told me he really had no idea but he thinks it's somewhere around 10. This seems so weird to me.... 10 really isn't that big of a number. It's not so many that it should be especially confusing or that you couldn't do a quick recount in your head. This was through text message so it's not like I put him on the spot in person and he panicked. He could have taken a few minutes to think about it or even come up with a good lie! Honestly, I don't really judge on those things so he could have said 50 and I would have been cool with that. I made a joke to him about him not knowing means that he's a manwhore or something along those lines. He said that guys just don't really care all that much about the number and that's why he doesn't know. I left it go but it's kind of bothering me. Is this a red flag that he's either a liar, chronic awkward conversation avoider or a man whore? Or is he right that guys just really don't give two strokes about that kind of thing? So you haven't gone on a date yet, but already are discussing each other's sexual histories? How...inappropriate. Why did you ask him that question about his sexual partner numbers? It's none of your business at this point since you haven't even been out on a date with him yet. That's not something either of you should discuss until you've been dating in person for a while. Sounds to me like you two are bored, and are using the long distance phone/text as entertainment and nothing more.
Casablanca Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 A girl asking me how many girls I've slept with before our first date is a red flag.... You didn't get a real answer because it's not really the time to be bringing up that kinda thing imo. This...Id never tell a girl unless we were serious and she really wanted to know. I'd answer that I've always used protection and that is all that matters and that is all I want to know about her past, is if she has always used protection. When you find out how many people the other person has slept with, unless it is the exact same number, there is a good chance the person with the lower number may feel less experienced and become jealous, even if just a little bit
KathyM Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 You're coming across as kind of weird. Haven't even had a first date yet and you're already asking questions about his sexual history. Not your business, and he probably hadn't even put a number to that before.
forms Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 What's wrong with 10? Why is that such a suspicious number that you are going off the deep end about it? I gotta tell you, when I read the title of the post I thought you meant telephone number, and you had asked him for his telephone number and he didn't know it and you were wondering if it were a brush off. It took me a minute to figure out what you meant by 'magic' number. I have to say I think it's an inappropriate question at this point, and pretty much a foolish and irrelevant question ever, and I wonder at why you care so much about it, even though you say you don't.
Recommended Posts