ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 It's disrespectful Damsel, he should have realized that. Any man that does not realize that demonstrates that he is not relationship material. Thank you. Another man that agrees the guy was wrong.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Usually touching is strictly prohibited in titty bars. Men have to practice self control or they get thrown out on their asses. So the excuse of being drunk and not being able to control oneself is utter bullsh*t. Very few strip clubs allow their patrons to touch the girls. Maybe the ones in Vegas do, but not the ones I'm familiar with. It's all about the atmosphere. If no one else is allowed to touch, that's on thing. But if all your buddies are doing, what are you supposed to do? Sit motionless with a stoic expression on your face. Like I said, the best way to avoid situations like this is to avoid strip clubs altogether.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Sweet. I would love to go to one. I wouldn't be groping though. Looking is about all I'd do. Haha that's what you say now Judging by what you said in your other post, you didn't mind being kissed on the lips by the "gorgeous guy" too much
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 It's disrespectful, and with I mean disrespectful towards you Damsel, he should have realized that. Any man that does not realize that demonstrates that he is not relationship material. She knowingly let her boyfriend go to a lapdance in a stripclub in Las Vegas. What did she expect him to do at the stripclub, stare at the floor? If you knowingly let your significant other go to a stripclub, the blame is on you.
ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Haha that's what you say now Judging by what you said in your other post, you didn't mind being kissed on the lips by the "gorgeous guy" too much You are correct but I was also highly uncomfortable as you read. I had my face in my hands the whole time until the end when he kissed me. I didn't touch him at all. When I was in the audience I just sat there grinning from ear to ear. I wasn't screaming and creaming my jeans like the other women. I'll also add I was probably the youngest woman there. There were a lot of middle aged women there. Desperate housewives, I'd assume.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Wow....... yeah, wonder what else will happen down the road that he'll "over-indulge" in
ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 It's all about the atmosphere. If no one else is allowed to touch, that's on thing. But if all your buddies are doing, what are you supposed to do? Sit motionless with a stoic expression on your face. Like I said, the best way to avoid situations like this is to avoid strip clubs altogether. Yes but he could have had some self control. He's not a kid. There should be no peer pressure. He's a grown man. Just because his boys were doing it and telling him to do it, doesn't mean he had to. If he has a SO back home he shouldn't be groping tits and ass at a strip club. You are right. He should have never gone in the first place.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 She knowingly let her boyfriend go to a lapdance in a stripclub in Las Vegas. What did she expect him to do at the stripclub, stare at the floor? If you knowingly let your significant other go to a stripclub, the blame is on you. WTF? people don't have ANY self-control?? You give someone an inch and they take a mile --- guess what that usually means? Yeah..... in this scenario, they don't have respect for the other person, and they are a selfish *******, who likely doesn't belong in a relationship. Guess what else lies ahead, it's not really hard to predict
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 You are correct but I was also highly uncomfortable as you read. I had my face in my hands the whole time until the end when he kissed me. I didn't touch him at all. When I was in the audience I just sat there grinning from ear to ear. I wasn't screaming and creaming my jeans like the other women. I'll also add I was probably the youngest woman there. There were a lot of middle aged women there. Desperate housewives, I'd assume. I'm willing to bet that all those other women were also uncomfortable upon visiting an establishment of this nature...for the first time. You protestations are futile
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Yes but he could have had some self control. He's not a kid. There should be no peer pressure. He's a grown man. Just because his boys were doing it and telling him to do it, doesn't mean he had to. If he has a SO back home he shouldn't be groping tits and ass at a strip club. You are right. He should have never gone in the first place. That's all sounds fine...in principle. But self-control is a funny thing. Even the courts of law recognize that one can involuntarily lose self-control under certain circumstances. The key to not losing self-control is avoiding situations where it might be tested in the first place.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 (edited) That's all sounds fine...in principle. But self-control is a funny thing. Even the courts of law recognize that one can involuntarily lose self-control under certain circumstances. The key to not losing self-control is avoiding situations where it might be tested in the first place. I agree that avoiding temptation can be very wise ---- but there will be situations where in one cannot just avoid it. Self-control is something that can develop when put to the test as well. In any case, if someone is extremely lacking in it, they should probably not ENTER into an exclusive relationship. Seriously. Now that it's all unveiled, they should probably *exit* it, because they are likely incapable. Believe it or not, some people can indeed just use their eyes and keep their limbs (and others) to themselves.... even if there is opportunity for more, heh. Edited November 25, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 WTF? people don't have ANY self-control?? You give someone an inch and they take a mile --- guess what that usually means? Yeah..... in this scenario, they don't have respect for the other person, and they are a selfish *******, who likely doesn't belong in a relationship. Guess what else lies ahead, it's not really hard to predict Self-control in Vegas? The city of excess? Right. Why would you let your significant other go to a stripclub? Is there anything positive that can come out of letting your significant other go to a stripclub?
ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I'm willing to bet that all those other women were also uncomfortable upon visiting an establishment of this nature...for the first time. You protestations are futile Yes they were so uncomfortable that they were screaming and throwing themselves at the men. And when they went on stage they tried groping balls, dick and ass. Yes, they felt totally uncomfortable and out of their element.
OnyxSnowfall Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Self-control in Vegas? The city of excess? Right. Why would you let your significant other go to a stripclub? Is there anything positive that can come out of letting your significant other go to a stripclub? Well, I wouldn't personally stay involved with a man that went to a strip club while with me ... but I realize I'm also an extremist in this area, and most people are not. I *assume* people follow the "it's okay to look but not touch", and that by letting their SO go to such a thing, they are actually showing that they *trust* them and understand that it's supposedly just some fun novelty. I.e, "You can go tease your visual senses and enjoy yourself, but it ends there (obviously)". When you abuse that, you abuse the trust, shrug.......... I don't think someone is thinking "Oh boy this is a free for all card!", otherwise they probably wouldn't allow it / stay with the person (unless they were already in an open relationship etc).
ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 That's all sounds fine...in principle. But self-control is a funny thing. Even the courts of law recognize that one can involuntarily lose self-control under certain circumstances. The key to not losing self-control is avoiding situations where it might be tested in the first place. Right. It's like the alcoholic being tempted by booze. They should avoid bars and places that serve alcohol. If a man can not keep his hands to himself in a titty bar, then he should not go to one. Especailly if he has a serious girlfriend or a wife at home.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Well, I wouldn't personally stay involved with a man that went to a strip club while with me ... but I realize I'm also an extremist in this area, and most people are not. I *assume* people follow the "it's okay to look but not touch", and that by letting their SO go to such a thing, they are actually showing that they *trust* them and understand that it's supposedly just some fun novelty. I.e, "You can go tease your visual senses and enjoy yourself, but it ends there (obviously)". When you abuse that, you abuse the trust, shrug.......... I don't think someone is thinking "Oh boy this is a free for all card!", otherwise they probably wouldn't allow it / stay with the person (unless they were already in an open relationship etc). Put yourself in his shoes: He's drinking, causing him to lose his inhibitions. He's being offered dances by strippers. I don't know if you know, but even at "no-touch" stripclubs, women will sensually rub against you and even sit on your lap when they ask for a dance. The women are scantily-clad or not wearing anything at all. They are dancing seductively. He is being peer pressured by your friends. They say, "Come on, dude. Live a little. Yer fiancee isn't here. Besides, she said it was okay for you to come here, right? How often do you get to vacation in Vegas? Pretty soon you won't have time for fun like this with so many hot chicks around. Why sit around in the corner while the rest of us are having fun?" How much self-control do you expect this guy to have? Having self-control is good. But it is smarter to avoid situations where your self-control is severely tested. You shouldn't approve of your significant other getting into situations where their self-control is tested like that. It is her fault for approving such a thing.
dasein Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 1. She let him go to a strip bar without expressing limits. 2. Touching in Vegas strip bars is standard, depends on how much money you are wasting, and the whole atmosphere is geared towards tempting men to spend money to touch more, which is rather tame touching. It's a total scam, just like many other facets of Vegas. Most definitely not a soapbox opportunity to scream "cheater!!" Rest assured, actual prostitutes would have been much, much less expensive. 3. He told her exactly what went on, which didn't include any sexplay at all. End of story. Really. It's always interesting to see people here who obviously have no personal experience of something freely holding forth on a topic they know nothing about. Will wager few of the most reactionary posters here have any knowledge of Vegas, bachelor/bachelorette parties, or how strip bars actually work whatsoever.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Right. It's like the alcoholic being tempted by booze. They should avoid bars and places that serve alcohol. If a man can not keep his hands to himself in a titty bar, then he should not go to one. Especailly if he has a serious girlfriend or a wife at home. I agree...though in fairness, the OP attended a bachelorette party too. Personally, I don't get the appeal of strip clubs. Aside from the unsavoury sleaze factor, what's so fun about "looking but not touching"...and getting blue balls in the process?
oaks Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 But it still bothers me a LOT that he took that extra step to splurge not only on HUGE amount of money but that he also consciously went for that extra hour with the stripper. Am I just being too insecure or is it okay to feel so down about this whole situation You can only feel down if you make sure you let him know that he's disappointed you. Ground him. Final written warning.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 It's always interesting to see people here who obviously have no personal experience of something freely holding forth on a topic they know nothing about. Will wager few of the most reactionary posters here have any knowledge of Vegas, bachelor/bachelorette parties, or how strip bars actually work whatsoever. That's pretty much how it is when it comes to asking for dating advice. People who know little about some part of dating will try to come off as some sort of expert on the subject. The word "reactionary" is good. Those types of posts usually means the poster knows little about the subject.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 You can only feel down if you make sure you let him know that he's disappointed you. Ground him. Final written warning. And how can you be sure that the OP wasn't stroking salami at the bachelorette party she went to?
ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I agree...though in fairness, the OP attended a bachelorette party too. Personally, I don't get the appeal of strip clubs. Aside from the unsavoury sleaze factor, what's so fun about "looking but not touching"...and getting blue balls in the process? Some of the girls are gorgeous. I'm sure it's nice to gaze upon a nice looking woman with fake tits. Am I right? And according to you they CAN touch. I can see the appeal for sure. But men with SOs should not frequent them unless they can demonstrate self control. Looky, no touchy.
ShannonMI Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 And how can you be sure that the OP wasn't stroking salami at the bachelorette party she went to? Hahahahahaha oh I love a nice hard salami. The sandwich meat that is. Jeez guys, what did you think I meant? But seriously if she had a stripper I doubt she was rubbing his junk. Maybe I'm just naive though.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 But seriously if she had a stripper I doubt she was rubbing his junk. Maybe I'm just naive though. I don't know about that...women can be just as pervy as men, sometimes even more so. And from my experience, the perviest ones are the shy/quiet/good girl types who work very hard at maintaining a respectable image in their daily lives:laugh:
dasein Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Will add that OP has every right to be upset about him wasting a lot of money on a strip bar, that's plain stupidity. He would have been much better off wasting the money in a casino, at least there's a chance to win something in those.
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