xxtinyxblackxponyxx Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Ok so I've been with my boyfriend about 3 years if you put both relationship times together but I feel like our relationship has lost its spark, I've been thinking about breaking up with him. And well lately I've been lusting over one of my best friends of 2 years. We both stay at the dorms where I go to school and this happened Tuesday night. We were like hitting on each other but playing around. Under the covers but not doing anything just being stupid. But what really has me nervous is that we kissed each other on the cheek in a friendly way but as I was going to give him one he goes and brushes his lips on mine. We both wanted to mess around not too long after we became friends but we didn't know this till a year later. Which I got back together with my boyfriend a few months after me and him became friends. He knows we hang out and it bugs him but he doesn't want to keep me from being with my friends. And this is what scares me most my boyfriend is coming down this weekend. We're in a long distance relationship. I go to college about an hour away from our hometown and he just moved a few weeks ago. So can you guys please point out what you would consider cheating and advice on how to not freak out and tell him.
runner Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 if you don't feel like your current relationship is going anywhere, i don't necessarily think you need to tell him that you 'fooled' around- just break it off and move on. date the guy you're lusting after. although if you want to stay with your boyfriend, it's best you come clean about the cheating and give him the fair option to either forgive you or dump you.
b_80_h Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 In my humble opinion, I consider sexual acts to be cheating (or or at least significant cheating) Kissing isn't exactly cheating, and it can be easily explained as a moment.
punkinless Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 kissing is cheating in my book. u don't kiss a "friend" on the lips. duh. you're in very dangerous territory . . .
b_80_h Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 kissing is cheating in my book. u don't kiss a "friend" on the lips. duh. you're in very dangerous territory . . . It's still emotionally jarring, but if you found out your significant other had kissed someone else, versus humped them, you would probably be doing better hearing about a kiss.
punkinless Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 i agree there are different levels of cheating. but any level of cheating shows disloyalty. and if you don't have loyalty in a relationship u hav nothing. unless ur a swinger . . .
runner Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 oh geez. a continuum of cheating ?? come on people- yes it's true that not a lot of things in life are black and white, but cheating is certainly one of the few things that are.
Author xxtinyxblackxponyxx Posted November 25, 2011 Author Posted November 25, 2011 but i didn't kiss him he did it and it pissed me off and I would go out with him but he's going through this phase where he only wants to mess around and I'm not a cheater I've always been faithful to every guy I've been with
runner Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 but i didn't kiss him he did it and it pissed me off and I would go out with him but he's going through this phase where he only wants to mess around and I'm not a cheater I've always been faithful to every guy I've been with you're still playing with fire though. even if you didn't want him to kiss you, you still knowingly put yourself in that position- which speaks volumes about how you feel about your bf.
Author xxtinyxblackxponyxx Posted November 25, 2011 Author Posted November 25, 2011 i'm scared should i tell him and break it off or just break it off
runner Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 as long as you remain completely honest about how you feel, and own it, then you really don't have anything to be afraid of. like i mentioned earlier, if your plan is to break it off, then i don't know if it's worth it to tell your bf every little detail- just do it. but obviously i can't tell you what to do; you'll know what to do when you get there. good luck.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) but i didn't kiss him he did it and it pissed me off and I would go out with him but he's going through this phase where he only wants to mess around and I'm not a cheater I've always been faithful to every guy I've been with Did you try to stop him from kissing you? That just sounds like a rationalization/excuse to me though, as you were under the covers, flirting, kissing each other on the cheek, ect. Friends don't do that, ESPECIALLY with a boyfriend. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but yes you ARE a cheater unfortunately. You can put a stop to it though before it goes any further (and take my word for it, it WILL!) and tell this guy you can't be friends with him anymore as long as you chose to stay with your boyfriend. If you don't want to be in the relationship then break up with him and hook up with this other guy, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you do chose to break it off then I agree you probably don't need to go into graphic detail. You could just tell him you met another guy you are interested in. That's the truth. Edited November 27, 2011 by Lauriebell82
carhill Posted November 27, 2011 Posted November 27, 2011 So, if you were 'under the covers' with this guy and your BF walked in, how would that go? There's your sign.
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