My ex GF contacted me after more than 15 years!

[SimonMas]

Update

 

Yesterday afternoon while returning from lunch, I saw the ex gf waiting at the reception area. She saw me. I nodded and gave her a quick smile and continued walking to my office. She looked stunt and somewhat embarrassed when she saw me. Probably, she knew of my work ethics and my low tolerance on people trying to gain favors. She did not approach me. She was waiting to meet one of the guys from the other department.

 

The funny thing is that where I am today in the company was largely owed to her breaking up with me. Had she not broke up with me, I would probably be working in my old job and probably getting no where. When she broke up with me, I changed my job, focused on my work and slowly climbing up the corporate ladder. The irony of this is that 15 years ago, I was the one who was chasing her and now 15 years later, she is doing the chasing. It is funny how the world works!

[SimonMas]

I totally agree with you Wilson. I just can't fathom why the OP would even consider talking to this woman, let alone anything more.

 

I agree with you. Under normal circumstances, I would have ignored her. However, it has been more than 15 years, I no longer have any interest in her and all of us have move on since then. As someone said, it is nice to see how the ex is doing and hope they are happy and having a good life. I do not wish them hate, I wish them all the best.

[davesterr]

Crazy story. Reading this was really intriguin.

Am i the only person who was bummed that this woman had an ulterior motive?

I wanted to hear that she realised her mistakes and wanted you back.

Then again if that would've happened it wouldn't be after 15 years.

It doesn't take that long to realise what you once had.

This story just further proves reality about how dumpers are and makes one lose more hope on love.

Then again you found happiness with someone else so it may exist.

But for those who still desire love with their ex , it's truely saddening.

 

I guess , her being this manipulative bitch ,

risking your marriage and family over a business contract ,

just shows that you should be thankful for her being so cold to you.

Cuz she isn't one you would've liked to stay with.

 

I know for alot of us , our ex's are amazing.

And maybe they always will be.

But whatever you thought of your ex 15 years ago.

Now you know who she really is.

Be glad , be thankful.

You're married , you have 2 kids and a good job.

Classy that you returned the gifts still wrapped.

And even though you had a closure 15 years ago.

Now it's the perfect closure ever with you living a happy life.

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Hopefully for someone who is married and will read this , whos ex are trying to reach back to them will learn something.

How keeping secrets for your wife , going out on a lunch or dinner date and keeping secretive contact , first through email then through phone etc is extremely stupid.

Because in the end people don't change.

Cold ex's will still be cold.

And if you are happy with someone else in your life dont risk everything just to see your ex from a decade ago.

In this case nothing bad happened because you found out she just wanted a contract.

But believe me when people say you were playing with fire.

Can you imagen cheating on your wife if the situation occured then to only have found out ur ex who u once loved used you again simply for a contract?

Breaking your marriage and family?

Torturing your kids life and ruining yours forever?

Can you imagen the impact of something so stupid simply because you let yourself get used ,

and then to get screwed over by the ex again 15 years later?

Just crazy thinking of it.

Anyways im glad everything got resolved but im just stating that it is really dangerous to play with fire.

It's like what afishwithabike said: We all still desire the feeling we once had with our ex.

And if you are a guy then you know how easy it is to think with ur penis for a slight moment.

And then regret it for the rest of ur life.

Don't play with fire even when you enjoy the heat.

Because in the end you will get burned.

Edited December 6, 2011 by davesterr

[Afishwithabike]

Crazy story. Reading this was really intriguin.

Am i the only person who was bummed that this woman had an ulterior motive?

I wanted to hear that she realised her mistakes and wanted you back.

Then again if that would've happened it wouldn't be after 15 years.

It doesn't take that long to realise what you once had.

This story just further proves reality about how dumpers are and makes one lose more hope on love.

Then again you found happiness with someone else so it may exist.

But for those who still desire love with their ex , it's truely saddening.

 

I guess , her being this manipulative bitch ,

risking your marriage and family over a business contract ,

just shows that you should be thankful for her being so cold to you.

Cuz she isn't one you would've liked to stay with.

 

I know for alot of us , our ex's are amazing.

And maybe they always will be.

But whatever you thought of your ex 15 years ago.

Now you know who she really is.

Be glad , be thankful.

You're married , you have 2 kids and a good job.

Classy that you returned the gifts still wrapped.

And even though you had a closure 15 years ago.

Now it's the perfect closure ever with you living a happy life.

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Hopefully for someone who is married and will read this , whos ex are trying to reach back to them will learn something.

How keeping secrets for your wife , going out on a lunch or dinner date and keeping secretive contact , first through email then through phone etc is extremely stupid.

Because in the end people don't change.

Cold ex's will still be cold.

And if you are happy with someone else in your life dont risk everything just to see your ex from a decade ago.

In this case nothing bad happened because you found out she just wanted a contract.

But believe me when people say you were playing with fire.

Can you imagen cheating on your wife if the situation occured then to only have found out ur ex who u once loved used you again simply for a contract?

Breaking your marriage and family?

Torturing your kids life and ruining yours forever?

Can you imagen the impact of something so stupid simply because you let yourself get used ,

and then to get screwed over by the ex again 15 years later?

Just crazy thinking of it.

Anyways im glad everything got resolved but im just stating that it is really dangerous to play with fire.

It's like what afishwithabike said: We all still desire the feeling we once had with our ex.

And if you are a guy then you know how easy it is to think with ur penis for a slight moment.

And then regret it for the rest of ur life.

Don't play with fire even when you enjoy the heat.

Because in the end you will get burned.

 

Good post.

 

It's good that the orignal poster's situation resolved itself, but if she was truly pursuing him to get him back for romantic reasons not business reasons, I wonder how the wife would have felt about the gifts, emails, phone calls, etc. When these things happen, it's best to share them with the spouse right away. Even well-intentioned notions of "I'll protect her from this" can backfire in a really bad way.

[SimonMas]

Crazy story. Reading this was really intriguin.

Am i the only person who was bummed that this woman had an ulterior motive?

I wanted to hear that she realised her mistakes and wanted you back.

Then again if that would've happened it wouldn't be after 15 years.

It doesn't take that long to realise what you once had.

This story just further proves reality about how dumpers are and makes one lose more hope on love.

Then again you found happiness with someone else so it may exist.

But for those who still desire love with their ex , it's truely saddening.

 

I guess , her being this manipulative bitch ,

risking your marriage and family over a business contract ,

just shows that you should be thankful for her being so cold to you.

Cuz she isn't one you would've liked to stay with.

 

I know for alot of us , our ex's are amazing.

And maybe they always will be.

But whatever you thought of your ex 15 years ago.

Now you know who she really is.

Be glad , be thankful.

You're married , you have 2 kids and a good job.

Classy that you returned the gifts still wrapped.

And even though you had a closure 15 years ago.

Now it's the perfect closure ever with you living a happy life.

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Hopefully for someone who is married and will read this , whos ex are trying to reach back to them will learn something.

How keeping secrets for your wife , going out on a lunch or dinner date and keeping secretive contact , first through email then through phone etc is extremely stupid.

Because in the end people don't change.

Cold ex's will still be cold.

And if you are happy with someone else in your life dont risk everything just to see your ex from a decade ago.

In this case nothing bad happened because you found out she just wanted a contract.

But believe me when people say you were playing with fire.

Can you imagen cheating on your wife if the situation occured then to only have found out ur ex who u once loved used you again simply for a contract?

Breaking your marriage and family?

Torturing your kids life and ruining yours forever?

Can you imagen the impact of something so stupid simply because you let yourself get used ,

and then to get screwed over by the ex again 15 years later?

Just crazy thinking of it.

Anyways im glad everything got resolved but im just stating that it is really dangerous to play with fire.

It's like what afishwithabike said: We all still desire the feeling we once had with our ex.

And if you are a guy then you know how easy it is to think with ur penis for a slight moment.

And then regret it for the rest of ur life.

Don't play with fire even when you enjoy the heat.

Because in the end you will get burned.

 

Well said. Thanks

[SimonMas]

Good post.

 

It's good that the orignal poster's situation resolved itself, but if she was truly pursuing him to get him back for romantic reasons not business reasons, I wonder how the wife would have felt about the gifts, emails, phone calls, etc. When these things happen, it's best to share them with the spouse right away. Even well-intentioned notions of "I'll protect her from this" can backfire in a really bad way.

 

Well, actually my wife did ask me whether the ex has contacted me since the last time. When I told her about the cologne, I could see that she was feeling uncomfortable. When she heard the whole story, I could see that she was relief and I assured her that I will not allow the ex to come between us. The ex is history as far as I am concerned.

Edited December 8, 2011 by SimonMas

[worldgonewrong]

Most of us go through life fine without getting closure in relationships. Closure is overrated. Stuff happens. People move on.

 

quoted and bolded for truth.

I should have this tatooed on my forehead.

[SimonMas]

It has been a while since I last wrote in this thread. The reason being there was nothing much to report or update until recently.

 

A couple of nights ago, we had our company’s Christmas party. This is one of those few occasions where we get to meet our colleagues’ other half, either their spouse or partner or just merely their date for that evening. Everyone was there including my female colleague’s soon to be husband. You can read about her in this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3771149#post3771149

 

He is an investment banker, a good looking guy and a pretty smooth talker. He is just the opposite of my female colleague’s ex who is down to earth and an easy going person. A sharp contrast but I guess whatever works for her.

 

The interesting part of the evening for me was when Bob from our planning department came with his date. His date was none other than my ex GF! Bob is a decent guy and is a widower. He lost his wife two years ago to cancer and has a four year old son. Bob met my ex GF as they have been working together in a project. When I saw the ex, I whispered to my wife and pointed the ex out to her. I told my wife, we will have to go and say “hello” as it would be rude if we just ignore them. We have been going around the whole evening greeting people and this should not be any different. We went and said “hello”. I introduced my wife to the ex and I think they got along ok. Some small talk and polite laughter and then we went off to mingle with other people.

 

While my wife was chatting with other people, I went and got myself a drink. I was leaning back and taking in the scene…it was really nice seeing everyone enjoying themselves when I felt someone was standing rather close to me. I turned and saw my ex next to me. She gave me that sweet smile and I must admit that she still look beautiful even though we have all moved on with age. I don’t think it was a coincidence that she was getting herself a drink the same time as me. She must be following my movements. She made some small talk and I responded politely. She never brought up about the cologne (gift) and neither did I. Then she said that I am very lucky to have such a beautiful and wonderful wife. She was really happy for me. I thanked her. After that, she wanted to bring up something about the past. She said “Whatever happened to us more than 15 years ago?” I just looked at her blankly and thinking what on earth was she talking about….she couldn’t be drunk as she just started drinking. Then she asked a rather funny question, “Have I ever thought of where she and I will be today, if say, everything worked out, we got married and have kids?” I felt the questions were getting way too personal and mere speculative. I told her “I live in the present, I look forward to the future and I learned from the past”. I wished her “Merry Christmas” and enjoy the rest of her evening. Do you think I handled that well?

[Sugarkane]

Yeah I did think you handled it well. What's all that BS talk about what ifs?! Maybe she should've thought about that before The BU? She made her bed, I think she should lie in it. That must have been awkward. If she wanted to get back with you, then why is she with this other guy? Sounds dishonest.

[Sugarkane]

She sure didn't waste any time looking for someone else did she? It makes me laugh when dumpers do this BS years later. Yet I get called a nutjob for asking for closure or going full NC.