forloveofgosh Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 You know, after reading a lot of threads on LS with people advocating NC, I have a question Because NC is basically suppressing your feelings, have you ever wanted to pour your heart out for the last time to relieve yourself? I know it wouldn't accomplish anything, but at least you've got to let everything out of your system, and perhaps a closure from the ex. Would you/ Have you tried it? Yes or no?
xxbrokenxx Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 first of all what does nc mean? i see people say it alot on this i thought not care lol but that doesn't make sense in some.. And yup i've done it- advice from the not so wise lol don't do it lol me and some of my close girls have done it once or twice and out come was never good.. they all reacted with cold shoulder which to begin with kept us guessing and assuming, but totally assuming wrong lol or lead us to believe something was still there which it wasn't for them.. I think if i could go back i would say why are you textin calling me? do you want me back.. just be straight forward to get the answer whether or not it's the answer i wanna hear.. oh and never text/call whilst you've had a few, end up feeling even more of a dumb ass lmao
flitzanu Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 yup. and every single time ends with wanting to say more the next day, or week after, or "i forgot to say this..." and it's a waste of time. if they walked away, no amount of words will change their mind. i'm starting to firmly believe words only matter before a relationship and during, but never after they've left.
ken_25 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I did it a few months after my first love left me. It was my first serious breakup and it accomplished nothing. She shed a couple tears, and it resulted in more hurt for both of us.
mike588 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 You know, after reading a lot of threads on LS with people advocating NC, I have a question Because NC is basically suppressing your feelings, have you ever wanted to pour your heart out for the last time to relieve yourself? I know it wouldn't accomplish anything, but at least you've got to let everything out of your system, and perhaps a closure from the ex. Would you/ Have you tried it? Yes or no? When my ex. told me the news I kinda did. I knew it would most likely be the last time I talked to her so I didn't want to leave her guessing about how I felt. Better to do that at the breakup than weeks, months later.
ThinkPink218 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 You know, after reading a lot of threads on LS with people advocating NC, I have a question Because NC is basically suppressing your feelings, have you ever wanted to pour your heart out for the last time to relieve yourself? I know it wouldn't accomplish anything, but at least you've got to let everything out of your system, and perhaps a closure from the ex. Would you/ Have you tried it? Yes or no? Yep and I have. It's normally right before I go NC. I may have been upset with how nonchalant his behavior was or angry that he couldn't see how he hurt me or how I THOUGHT I was such a great match for him. But I've realized that you can't convince someone on how to feel. Pouring your heart out in a way seems like an attempt to make you feel better and share that hurt/anger/pain with them. It's a temporary high, cause you feel kinda good getting it off your chest but when you don't get the response you want (which is 99.9% of the time), you start to feel foolish for pouring your heart out and letting your emotions get the best of you. Best thing to do when you feel that way is to maybe write your feelings out or talk to someone else about it and then let it go. NC speaks much more volume than pouring your heart out will IMO as it gives not only you but them a chance to reflect on the relationship instead of hearing from you on what you want them to reflect on....
ThinkPink218 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 yup. and every single time ends with wanting to say more the next day, or week after, or "i forgot to say this..." and it's a waste of time. if they walked away, no amount of words will change their mind. i'm starting to firmly believe words only matter before a relationship and during, but never after they've left. Very very true. You always want to say more!! Especially when you don't get the response you want and it just continues to push them further and further away! Your words no longer mean much.
BardoPond Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Talking after a break up really doesn't seem to help at all in the long run, I regret not going full NC directly after the break up to be honest. I think the best thing to do is to write it down. Apart from getting the chance to get it off your chest it can often help you get your thoughts in order too. I wouldn't suggest showing it to anyone but writing definately helps. I started keeping a journal after my break up and it's really helped straighten me out.
Recommended Posts