cherrycheesecake Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I've spent 12 months with someone who I fell deeply in love with, gave to unconditionally, supported financially only to discover that I was being repeatedly lied to, deceived and manipulated. Having finally gained the strength to push him out my life, I am reeling from the back lash which has involved masses of his self projection and vitriol. I can't beleive the lies he is telling people about me. Yet I still love him - I cant get him out of my head. I need advice to help me be strong!
twinkles Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 You should throw yourself a party. He's gone. A user, a liar, a manipulating deceitful broke jackass. You my dear are the winner here. Anyone disagree. Don't worry about the backlash he is..see above. The wonderful you just threw him out..of course he's angry but you are still wonderful. That's all the advice you need.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I've spent 12 months with someone who I fell deeply in love with, gave to unconditionally, supported financially only to discover that I was being repeatedly lied to, deceived and manipulated. Having finally gained the strength to push him out my life, I am reeling from the back lash which has involved masses of his self projection and vitriol. I can't beleive the lies he is telling people about me. Yet I still love him - I cant get him out of my head. I need advice to help me be strong! Why do I still love him? Speaking of "self-projection"... The answer to your question is something very similar in that you are not as drawn to HIM-him as you are to your previous emotional investment IN him. It's like the stock market... you buy a stock at $100 a share, then it sails for a while, and eventually dips below $100... and spirals all the way down to $23.75 a share. Common sense says to dump that terrible stock and put your leftover decent money into something which has greater upside potential. YET so many hang-on for so long, knowing that the only way they're going to get "even", is if THAT particular stock rebounds in a big way. It hurts to have lost $76.25 a share, but the remaining 'money' is doing nothing for you unless you re-allocate it elsewhere.
AlisaMarie Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Hello! I would like to know more about your story. The few details you gave reminded me of what I have endured for the past 2 years of my life. Sometimes people fall hard for those that manipulate and project because they seem so wonderful in the beginning. Trust me- the good you saw was not real! They lies and manipulation- cheating... etc... that's the real them, and it will never change.
yello243 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 He is just mad that you had the courage to stand up to him. He is mad that you realized that he is nothing without you and you were too good and smart to not let him continue with his charades. You did the hardest part of it all and that was getting rid of him, now comes the healing part. Don't worry about what others say or think they are silly to believe him in the first place your smart, and self-worthy and you do not need acceptance from anyone other than yourself be proud of yourself you took a big step towards your happiness and that was getting rid of him!
michelleishere Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I've spent 12 months with someone who I fell deeply in love with, gave to unconditionally, supported financially only to discover that I was being repeatedly lied to, deceived and manipulated. Having finally gained the strength to push him out my life, I am reeling from the back lash which has involved masses of his self projection and vitriol. I can't beleive the lies he is telling people about me. Yet I still love him - I cant get him out of my head. I need advice to help me be strong! Firstly, BIG HUGS!!! Secondly, I went out with a similar type of guy for two years and even loved him after I left him. Ask yourself, 'do you really want a life that he is about to offer you'? I think you are worth more than that! Again, the guy is an idiot for spreading rumours - doesn't he realise one day the truth will come out??? Stay strong and just keep thinking of all the horrible things he did - that's what I did and now 4 months later I could not care less what he said about me or what he does. During those 4 months, I joined a gym and used the money that he used to take off me to do things for myself.
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