AprilShowers Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Hello. I was with my guy for 7 years. He dumped me yesterday. To give some background. He is 10 years older than me, he is near 40 and I am near 30. I have one child. He has been a father to my child since age 2. We only spend once a week together, but we would talk on the phone every night. He was cheating on me with multiple women. He was taking them on dates. He even went out of town during christmas one year and stayed a week with his ex. He said he wanted to give her closure and go to marriage counseling. They dated for 8 years I think. He did not call me that entire 5 day time. I met a guy at work. I was not attracted to him but he was funny and we started hanging out and I cheated on him with the guy. It was an emotional thing more than anything, but he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend. I know, I'm a mess. So we both found out about our wrong doings. A condition of my guy staying with me was for him to check through my phone logs and to make me delete facebook. I did delete it but I started a fake profile because I figured how can he still keep his facebook and I have to delete mine, how does he get to go through my phone but I cant see his phone records. He told me what I did was much worse and thats why. Well yesterday, my kid was with him while I worked an earlier shift, he logged onto his facebook and my kid told him that my sister and I go on that website too! Well, he dumped me because of it. He told me I was so stupid, a liar, told me my vagina is not hitting on anything and he can stick his leg in there and I need 4 tampons during my period, told me that I have a weird personality and any man should run from me. He told me that my mom was a whore and she has messed me up so bad and thats why she is dead today. He told me he knew when he first met me I was going to cheat and he should have never got into a relationship with me. He said I sabotaged this relationship and used him and I never wanted him. He read my diary where I said that I wanted to leave him when I was seeing the other guy and he said I am such a stupid whore thinking that guy was treating me well when he had a girlfriend. He said he would never marry me and my self esteem is so low. He has been physically abusive to me. He said he is disgusted in himself for dating a woman with no self respect. He said he would kill me. My heart is numb. I can admit my short comings but I just need advice on how to move on. Especially since a lot of my loved ones are deceased so I am alone on the holidays. Any advice is appreciated. I am not here to make myself seem like a victim or innocent because I know I cheated, I just need some input. Thanks.
harvej Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Sorry to hear that he behaved towards you so badly. He didnt dump you, he freed you!!!! You must at all cost avoid any contact with him. You must put your cell phone to block his text and phone calls. You must get away while you can. Also, prepare the process of a restraining order asap. He sounds like the kind of person that once NC is working, he will come back begging. If so, he will abuse you worse after he has emotionally secured you again. This cycle is dangerous as his words are too. You must write done the abuse in a journal and share a copy with a confidant. It will release frustration as well. Go to youtube and and search No Contact Rule. BUT BE CAREFUL! Many are about getting your ex back. YOU DONT WANT HIM BACK -TRUST ME! Listen to the videos that recommend NC to get over somebody. This will break the cycle and put you into the proper state of mind to forget him and move on. Trust me, I am going thru the same thing but getting better everyday. My cheating ex dumped me when I confessed I had cancer on Nov 16th. She is already living with another guy today! With limited life ahead of me, you better believe i wont be spending any of whats left of my lifes energy on her. She cheated 3 times as well, and not onc eover 5 years even remembered my birthday. She apparently was a golddigger and probably should have stayed with me during my illness as i didnt know she was doing all the things she did. Dont walk away -RUN AWAY! This guy is obviosuly a toxic person and you will never forget what he said to you even if he changed. There is evil in these words of his. Also, think about a past ex. Do you feel anything for them now? I bet you dont feel much for them. that is how you will feel for this guy in 6 months. You will get thru this and you will recover for next Thanksgiving, but you must stick to NC now, dont take text, calls or letters from him, dont drive by his place, dont shop or hand out anywhere near where he lives or frequents. Celebrate going "Cold Turkey" today! It will free you and perhaps be the best Thanksgiving ever!!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Yes, it is as if the original poster just won life's lottery !!! Don't ever look back on that whack-job
Author AprilShowers Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 Thank you all for your comments.
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