ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Well 48 days after BU and the ex has taken my photos off his desk. I feel sick again. I want to cry all over again. I feel like I have been brought to my knees again. I would like to run away, never to return. Also my doctor is concerned I have breast cancer, so I get the pleasure of getting screened for cancer next week. Can't wait. What else can go wrong.
mike588 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Well 48 days after BU and the ex has taken my photos off his desk. I feel sick again. I want to cry all over again. I feel like I have been brought to my knees again. I would like to run away, never to return. Also my doctor is concerned I have breast cancer, so I get the pleasure of getting screened for cancer next week. Can't wait. What else can go wrong. Ouch,breast cancer,, wishing you the best!! I know what you mean about wanting to run away,, especially today. Can't help but think about my. ex. back with her ex.today. She has alot to be thankful for,,, she got him back!
Von Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Thankfully breast cancer when caught soon enough is very treatable. Hopefully it tirns out to be nothing. Just like when we the dumpees need to rid ourselves of anything that reminds us of our ex, so that it quickens the healing process, the dumpers also need to remove themselves from the past. Its perfectly normal what he did. Do I agree with how we get treated by dumpers? Hell no. But they have to heal too, even though sometimes in our thoughts we wish them to suffer for what they did to us. When you get to the lowest point, everything else is up from there. Things will only get better
M2155 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 He left them for 48 days? I'm really sorry you have to work with your ex. I would have wished he had of just removed them to begin with. I will keep you in my prayers about the screening, all the best.
mike588 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Thankfully breast cancer when caught soon enough is very treatable. Hopefully it tirns out to be nothing. Just like when we the dumpees need to rid ourselves of anything that reminds us of our ex, so that it quickens the healing process, the dumpers also need to remove themselves from the past. Its perfectly normal what he did. Do I agree with how we get treated by dumpers? Hell no. But they have to heal too, even though sometimes in our thoughts we wish them to suffer for what they did to us. When you get to the lowest point, everything else is up from there. Things will only get better This whole healing thing makes me curious.Alot of us are smart enough to take the time to heal,, to be alone and not jump back into another relationship. Well for many of our ex.s who jump into another relationship after dumping us where does that leave them when they don't take the time to heal? Does it affect the new b/f, g/f and the relationship? or are they so cold it doesn't bother them?
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 All the signs are right in front of me, but my heart, head and gut tell me it's not over. Yeah he kept them up for 48 and still hasn't told his family and a bunch of friends. I thought I already hit my lowest point... Apparently not.
Von Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 All the signs are right in front of me, but my heart, head and gut tell me it's not over. Yeah he kept them up for 48 and still hasn't told his family and a bunch of friends. I thought I already hit my lowest point... Apparently not. Always follow your gut lol. Hey, I know your hurting, trust me if you lived in my city Id give you some company and a shoulder to lean on. Just Keep telling yourself you can do better. You deserve someone taht wont leave you, EVER. Its his loss sweetie. There is someone out there that will never leave you. The sooner you let go the sooner he will come into your life. I prayed for you. I think you'll be ok
M2155 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 You need to have a talk with your heart, head and gut. Once they get on board with the signs that it's over, he'll probably mess you up again by coming back around. Exes are funny like that. One day we'll look back and wonder why we wasted so much brain-space worrying and analyzing instead of just letting things be. I'm still looking forward to that day of course.
AprilShowers Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 The best of luck to you. I am going to my physician soon because i have two lumps on one of my boobs and I am afraid.
mike588 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 The best of luck to you. I am going to my physician soon because i have two lumps on one of my boobs and I am afraid. I'll pray for the both of you,hang on a sec. ok just did,really. My best to the both of you.
Von Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 This whole healing thing makes me curious.Alot of us are smart enough to take the time to heal,, to be alone and not jump back into another relationship. Well for many of our ex.s who jump into another relationship after dumping us where does that leave them when they don't take the time to heal? Does it affect the new b/f, g/f and the relationship? or are they so cold it doesn't bother them? They use the rebound to heal. Its completely selfish. It is cold hearted. It will affect that relationship of course. It usually doesnt last but by then they have healed. Though if they go back to an old ex it may work for them because you now have 2 hurt people together. Screwing each other over. Thats why its best to move on from these unhealthy people.
harvej Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 He knows you can see him taking your photos down. He still cares of course as this is a play to tug at you. If you want him back, go to NC now. My bro said to send yourself flowers after a week to be delievered to your desk. He will **** himself! Leave the card with the flowers so he will sneak over to see who it is from. Car dmust read thank you and the "Hawaiian getaway is still on the table for you to join him" and leave Hawaiian brochures on your desk. Act giddish. Then use NC to move on if you have decided he is not worth your interest because life IS short.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 April you are in my thoughts. Lol I do like flowers. I just went for lunch with my mom and talked about relationships, and I told her something about this breakup, that I have been harbouring deep inside because I don't want it to be true... BUT here is it... the day my ex broke up with me we had a fight. A week prior an ex girlfriend of his came into town and wanted to hang out with him. My ex failed to tell me she was coming into town. She called and I asked who that was and he told me... he also told me there were going to the bar. I was hurt and upset. I said "why would you wait until now to tell me? Why wouldn't you let me meet her...it would put my mind at ease"... yadda yadda yadda. Anyways later on that night my ex said that nope he wasn't going to go meet with her because it upset me. Well that was a lie.. that I found out the day we broke up, which was the reason for the fight. I said "why would you lie to me?!" and whatever it went from there and he brokeup with me. After he broke up with me, he deleted his ex from his facebook.... I am thinking he broke up with me because a) I found out and b) he is guilty of doing something with her (as would suggest in a message I found from her). I think the guilt was and is eating away at him. I don't know why I never said any of this, because now I feel so much better. It's not me. It's not my fault. I feel stupid and a bit gross, but it's not me.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 .. but I am still sad... feel better, but still sad.
twinkles Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Chelsea... How good was this relationship you had with this guy? Was everything good up until the ex came back into his life? Do you know if she is still here and is he still seeing her? If it was a really good relationship and you want him back then no contact will not work in this situation.
lolita jade Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Chelsea, With your breast cancer scare. Please look after yourself and please try however hard it is to not think of your ex at all. Do not spend any energy on him at all. Stay busy. You need to look after yourself and that means mentally too. Worry will not help you. You must be worried enough as it is about yourself right now. Knock him right out of your thoughts. And do the flower trick. You dont need to mention Hawaii. The flowers will talk for themselves. Make a mans name up!! You will enjoy the flowers in your home to help cheer you up.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 It was a fantastic relationship, right up until she came to visit. Since then, and our blow up and break up, he has deleted her off facebook and as far as I know they don't see eachother (she lives like 14 hours away).
mike588 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Chelsea... How good was this relationship you had with this guy? Was everything good up until the ex came back into his life? Do you know if she is still here and is he still seeing her? If it was a really good relationship and you want him back then no contact will not work in this situation. Why do you think/feel that N.C. doesn't work in a situation where an ex. goes back to an ex.??
twinkles Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 He waited 48 days to take down her pictures. To me that says something. He may be thinking that Chelsea doesn't want him anymore. I don't know the whole situation and don't want to give any hope if it's not there but maybe he has been waiting for Chelsea to make the first move. Chelsea at this point and this amount of time it wouldn't hurt to ask him if he wants to talk. You have shown respect for yourself by staying away from him. Do this only if you feel strong enough and you want him back. You could just put a note on his desk saying "Would you like to talk? Chelsea" Don't say I miss you or anything sappy. You are not reopening the door to start your relationship over. You just want to talk. If he says no you have your answer. If he says yes proceed from there. I think you need this resolved once and for all. It seems you are in limbo. One way or another in this situation you must know one way or another.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 I too think it's strange the things he has said and done since the BU... but I try not to look into it. As for taking/ getting him back... My head and my heart are at a battle. My head says no (for logical reason), but my heart aches for him and is so emotionally intertwined. But, how could I ever trust him again? That is far to much to think about right now anyways... plus we are not even there yet... IF we ever get there. If I wanted to talk, he would sit down and talk with me no problem... but I don't want to talk, I am done talking. This is exhausting. Even if I talked his ear off trying to resolve this, he may never tell the truth. It seems pointless. I've put in the time and effort, if anything is to come of this relationship (and again I don't know if I want it to) he needs to put in some work. I feel relieved, but low at the same time. It takes so long to build something up and a few mintues for it all to come tumbling down.
headsashed Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 i know what ur saying chelsea,im the same,my head doesnt want my ex back but my heart wants her back so bad,no matter whats gone off,and i do hate it ,i want to talk to her but whats the point,id get the same as you,talk her ear off to get the same BS as before,its pointless,thats why i just carry on as i am doing,i think you should too. If they want us back they will come get us,no matter what. As for your breast cancer,i really do hope it goes well for you,my fingers will be crossed
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 Thanks everyone for the kind words and support.. Its one of those times where I feel like I am back at square one or day one of BU. BOO.
Von Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Ya if the dumper wants us back, i would think that them feeling you dont want them wouldnt stop them trying. Nothing would. I got a girl back once 6 months after a breakup because everything in me willed me to go back after her. The thought of her rejecting me never crossed my mind. Amd i did get her back for another year and then she cheated so I left her for good and never looked back. It seems most people that get dumped and then have an ex resurface is not because they kept in contact. Its usually out of the blue. The relationship needs to die before a new one can be made
Recommended Posts